YOU ARE TRAPPED IN YOUR HOUSE

Stay on KHV and keep posting.

 

Obligatory.

 

I choose number 2. But softly for about a minute before eating a tub of Cookie Dough Ice Cream~

 

The only website you can access is the Sokumezu Generator. You die of illiteracy.

 

I knew skimreading would kill me one day

 

Take a nap, if the powers still out when I wake up, flip through the book rapidly to find anything. Skipping over the dull parts.

 

Uh find a way to leave the house??? I have multiple escape routes planned from my home

 

You decide to take a nap.

[Do do doodly do]

You awake feeling refreshed. The power is still out, but your Pokemon are fully healed.

You casually flip through the book. It is boring as hell.

Something in the back of your mind tells you that it will probably get better around chapter 3, so you skip to that point.

[Time passes]

After six consecutive days of reading, you finish the book and realize that it had absolutely nothing to do with your predicament. You kick the wall in frustration and hear a WHOOSH come from the kitchen. You navigate to the kitchen to discover a Japanese looking man clad in a formal suit with zippered pockets in several places. Above his head floats a line text that reads, SQUARE ENIX PUBLIC RELATIONS REPRESENTATIVE A.

In a horribly stereotypical Japanese accent, he asks, "Do you want to bird a snowman?"

You hurry to the escape tunnel that you dug for just this occasion. Unfortunately, you notice a quarter of the way through that you never put up support beams like you were planning to. The tunnel shakes, as if someone kicked a wall in the house above. You try to escape, but rocks fall and everyone in the tunnel dies.

 

I look at him as if he's insane for several moments and slowly back away. Then I get my sledgehammer and break down the wall out.

 

You successfully break down the wall only to find another, identical, wall behind it. You try again and get the same result. After several hours of this, you collapse from exhaustion and see SQUARE ENIX PUBLIC RELATIONS REPRESENTATIVE A standing over you. In that awful L-less accent, he says, "I'm sarry, the outside is not avairaber yet. This is just a demo. The fur game is stirr in deveropment. Prease be excited."

 

I tell him that I want to stop playing and let me out. ><

 

"Reaving is not avairaber yet. This is just a demo. The fur game is stirr in deveropment. Prease be excited.""

 

I see if there's a plug to pull on my computer to stop it. ><

 

You unplug your computer and remember that it's been off this whole time due to the blackout. Your internet access is limited to using the Sokumenzu Generator your phone.

 

I remind myself never to play a Final Fantasy MMO again.

Bazinga.

And yes, I know it's irl, I just wanted to throw that in. :P

 

"I'm sarry, I do not know that Engrish word. "

 

I tell him if he lets me leave, I'll tell him what it means.

 

SQUARE ENIX PUBLIC RELATIONS REPRESENTATIVE A declines your offer, then walks a ways away from you, does an about face, locks eyes with you, and says, "When two trainers rock eyes, that means they have to battre!"

DOODLYDOODLYDOODLYDOODLYDOOO

BA BA BUMBUMBUMBUM
(DA DA DUMDUMDUMDUM)
DO DO DOODLEDOODLEDOODLEDOODLY DO DO, DO DOOOOO!

SQUARE ENIX PUBLIC RELATIONS REPRESENTATIVE A has challenged you to a battle!
SQUARE ENIX PUBLIC RELATIONS REPRESENTATIVE A sent out Pikachu!
Pikachu ♀ Lvl 40
HP: 135/135

Go, [CHOOSE YOUR LEAD POKEMON]!

FIGHT
ITEM
POKEMON
RUN

 

I decide to kill myself.

 

I threaten to sue. For copyright infringement (exhibit a : Pikachu) and for kidnapping (exhibit b : their ****** Sokumenzu Generator clearly shows that SQUAREENIX reads like KIDNAPPING from the side). I also press up up down down left right left right b a on my keyboard, just in case.