YOU ARE TRAPPED IN YOUR HOUSE

The power is out, but that's okay because it's daytime.

There is an impossibly large book on the shelf and it wasn't there before.

All of the phones are dead.

For some reason, you are able to access the internet. Perhaps the room that you dedicated to housing your router and modem and nothing else is not affected?

However, you can't seem to access to any useful websites. While browsing through your Favorites, you find that the only site you can access is the Sokumenzu Generator.

What will you do?

Suggestions:
Perhaps reading the book will provide some clues about your situation.
Are your internet problems router or modem related? Possibly.

 

Continue masturbating.

 

>talking on the phone as a pastime.

i mean i guess glance through the book to see if anything immediately catches my attention. maybe read the first page or so. then skip to the last page and read it. if i don't find anything useful and still cant access any good sites i'll go to sleep and hope it was a dream or that it's all over when i wake up.

 

Computer works? Well, time to watch all that bootlegged anime.

 

Commit suicide.

 

Suicidal masturbation. Kill two birds with one stone

 

How the hell do you kill yourself by doing that?

 

Okay. I'm walking away now. :x

 

After one month of continuous masturbation, you die of exhaustion. Your last thought is, "Totally. Worth it."

You have chosen to read the book.
...
[Autosaving]
The book is over eight thousand pages long. There are illustrations, but based on casually flipping through the first fifty pages, they all look like crap. It occurs to you that it will probably get better in a few chapters, but the table of contents indicates that even just the first chapter is five hundred pages long. Skip to the good part?

You go to the kitchen and raid the fridge. After two hours of nonstop eating, you are full and the fridge is empty. You fall asleep. The next day, you die of dysentery.

You try to browse to your hidden stash of illegally downloaded Japanimated Taliban White House Jihad Pornography only to discover that your computer is off and that you were browsing the internet from your phone, which has two hours left on its battery. Two hours later, your phone dies and takes you with it, stabbing you with a knife from the kitchen.

You attempt to commit suicide, but @Fearless pushes you off a cliff before you get a chance.

Following in both @Jiku Neon and @soma's footsteps, you get pushed off a cliff while masturbating furiously as @Ethan watches, smiling wickedly.

 

GUESS I'M NOT SLEEPING TONIGHT

 

**** that
start a fire. burn the house down. rebuild house. game over i win ha

 

SAVE
LOAD
INVENTORY
SOUPS
INDUSTRIAL GRADE RICES

 

yeah that's what i thought

 

A Canadian boy man by the name of Ashwin appears int he room with you. Several incredibly polite, intelligent, and inexplicably cockney accented conversations later, he begins to sip tea. What just happened? What? just happened. Your move, puppet.

 

'Kay guys, this is crossing the content line at this point, keep it appropriate~.

 

fix'd

 

Get pissed because the internet is out. Possibly punch a wall.

 

The wall is now tired of your ****.
[Autosaving]
Continue punching the wall?

>>Yes
>Yes