Writer's Workshop

ok, DarknessKingdom, MAN, that was good. I didn´t understand some parts cuz I don´t play that game, or ant T-rated game for the matter of fact. Thank god KH, KH: CoM, and KHII are E, huh?

ukali_rules; That was some fanfic! But, why Moogles? I can just imagine it, now. *snickers* Order form...

 

I have written some more of the fanfic. I'm still not done.

The question brought a guarded look to Xemnas’s piercing yellow hawk eyes. The silver haired nobody backed up a little, opening the door before saying, “Nothing Demyx. It is nothing.†With that the nobody vanished in a flurry of running feet and black cloth. Demyx stared at the spot where Xemnas was in confusion.
***
Quiet. Saix pressed his fingers together as he leaned over a table covered with silver blue paper. Quiet, yet sharp yellow eyes stared down on the paper in concentration. Silver blue hair, somewhat spiky on the top, hung down around him in curtains of blue. A slightly young face, no scars at all unlike Xigbar, who had lost his eye.
Saix closed his eyes, and concentrated on his thoughts. Darkness, the heart shaped moon being built, X-.
Suddenly footsteps echoed down the hallway, interrupting the blue haired nobody. Saix looked up, his eyes narrowing in irritation. Walking toward the door he reached for the doorknob, but it opened by itself. Xemnas stepped inside, looking around, hassled in a subtle way.
“Saix,†Xemnas asked distractedly. He was twitching, moving back and forth in some confused way. A flash of shock crossed Saix’s eyes, but it vanished like a bird flying into the horizon.
“Xemnas,†Saix replied back. He waited silently, watching Xemnas flutter around like a lost bird, checking papers here and there. Then-
“HAVEYOUSEENMYORDERFORMSAIX!†The words were linked together and slurred for the fact that Xemnas was talking so fast. But the blue haired man just gently held Xemnas’s arm and led him firmly outside of his room before the silver haired man could trash it up anymore.
Walking Xemnas down the hallway, Saix asked the now calmed down Superior, “What are you ordering?†But instantly he could tell that his question fell on deaf ears. Xemnas was back to twitching and muttering to himself. All of a sudden Xemnas tore himself out of Saix’s grip, streaked down the hallway toward Axel’s room, yanked open the door and shouted, “AXEL! YOU B-â€
The rest of the words were lost as Xemnas threw himself into Axel’s room and there was the sound of scuffling. Saix hurried up and cautiously peered inside the room, but instantly backed away.
The room was a normal room. No Roxas photos, or plushies, or life size pictures. Just a normal bed, some windows, and all the silver walls were streaked with red paint and scorch marks. But that wasn’t what made Saix shy away from the room. Smoke circled the air, and it burned his lungs to breathe in. He was surprised that The Flurry of Dancing Flames was still alive.
On the ground, Xemnas was holding a rather tussled up Axel up by the front of his trench coat. A singed paper was in Xemnas’s other hand, and the Superior wore a murderous look. “Youâ€-he paused to give Axel a good shake- “Neverâ€-again, another shake- “Burnâ€-another shake “This paper!â€
“But I thought that since you always throw away the trash that I would burn some of i-†Axel was rattled so hard that his teeth clattered against each other and Saix cringed slightly. The pyromaniac’s eyebrows- bushy as always- had started to grow in his eyes. Green eyes, hidden under red strands of hair, were glistening with fear and red hair was flying all over the place with every shake.
“Never,†Xemnas growled, turned around and stalked pass Saix. His hand moved a little to show what the paper said. It said, “Rabid M-†But the hand was covering the last word. With that, the Superior and Lunar Diviner left the Flurry of Dancing Flames.
***
Larxene flicked her hair out of her eyes. Bright blue eyes, the colour of the ocean, dreamily stared out the window of Castle Oblivion, looking at the dark sky and heart shaped moon. Shoulder length blonde hair and long bangs that completely defied gravity swished around. Between her slender fingers she had long slender yellow and indigo throwing daggers.
“Larxene! Pay attention to the stew!†The pretty female blonde turned to her companions, a pink haired man and a pale blonde haired man. Marluxia and Luxord. Marluxia was somewhat of a girly boy. Long and tangled pink hair. A pink scythe, pink petals, plant element. He was an odd companion for the sadistic Larxene. Luxord was a gambler. His pale blonde hair, blue eyes, earring and odd accent made him annoying. Not to mention his battle style depended all on luck, and often times the poor victim was turned into a card or a die. But he was a nice companion for those who were bored.
Larxene scowled crossly at the two men were were lazing around at the long white glass table. Seven seats lined the long table. One at the front of the table, and three on each. The Organization members had specific spots, and they were line up by rank.
“Luxord!†Larxene said darkly as she turned off the stove and carried the large bowl of vegetable stew over, “If you think you are so good at cooking then you try!†Luxord laughed but it was Marluxia who answered for him.
“We all know that if Luxord cooks he is going to be feeding us burned bread. And then Saix will go all snarly and we will be having maimed Luxord for dinner.†Larxene rewarded Marluxia with a very grudging smile before turning away and screaming, “DINNER!â€
Instantly Roxas, Axel, and Demyx were the first to streak down the stairs. Quickly Marluxia and Luxord dived into their seats as Demyx tripped, slipped on the slipery just cleaned floor, and belly slid into the table. Roxas used him as a sort of platform to leap over the table behind Axel. The three of them were covered in mud and that got Larxene going.
“You little brats!†she screamed, flicking out a mop to wash the floor again, “I just cleaned that spot!†Demyx and Axel exchanged glances, and burst out laughing. “I, Marluxia,†said the pyromaniac, “Order you, #12, to clean the floor until it is spotless.†Roxas and Demyx burst out as Axel mimed Marluxia.
Larxene flushed to the roots of her hair before feeling a restraining hand on her shoulder. She looked up to see a strict looking Saix glaring down on the other lower ranked members. He looked displeased, very displeased.



Okay. Spoiler: Axel's bushy eyebrows are going to be nibbled off by the moogles and Saix gets his scar by them. :D Enjoy

 

oh, gosh, that was funny! (well written, too) you should post it as a fanfic in the creativity section! y does axel get his eyebrows nibbled off?

 

Hehehe, more of the fanfic. Also, I'm planning to include on how Xigbar got his face scar. And-if I find anyone who steals this-then they will get in major trouble.

Clearly restraining herself, Larxene stiffly settled down between Marluxia and Roxas. Saix stiffly stalked up to the front of the table, but stayed standing, watching quietly and dangerously as the Organization members meekly ate their stew. Larxene was crackling with anger, Demyx was meekly ducking his head and eating his soup, Axel and Roxas exchanging glances and smirking with some unknown plan, Luxord shuffling through his cards, and Marluxia was humming Passion (completely off tune of course).
“If you did not know this,†Saix said coldly. He sat down and rested the palm of his hands on the table. He could feel tension in the air; tension so thick that you could cut it with a knife. “The Superior was here today.â€
The reaction was plain enough. Luxord and Marluxia jerked at the same time (maybe it was because it was the electricity that Larxene had just made fly into their bowls of stew), Larxene had thrown her hand out in “shockâ€, Roxas gasped, but Axel and Demyx looked calm. Then again, could nobodies even feel shock?
Saix continued as if nothing had happened. “Some of us,†he threw a glare at Axel, who was pretending not to listen, “Have displeased him.â€
“So?†Demyx chirped. He didn’t understand what was all this fuss about.
Saix looked at Demyx carefully, before saying, “He has called all of us for a meeting.†Silence. Glances, back and forth, were exchanged up and down the table. Finally, Luxord spoke up. “If the Superior wants to see us,†he said, standing up to challenge Saix, “Then why didn’t he tell us himself?â€
“Because he told me to tell you underlings. He has no time to tell you about a meeting that is taking place at the Castle That Never Was,†Saix said, equally as cold as Luxord. The two men stared at each other before Roxas spoke up. “I thought that Xigbar was second in command.â€
“He is,†Saix said, sitting back down and helping himself to a small bowl of stew. Larxene threw her hand out again. A bolt of electricity flew across the table and entered the pot, the stew, travelled up the spoon, and shocked Saix’s gloved hand. There was the sound of metal clattering to the ground, which by now was extremely dirty from mud, bread crumbs, bits of stew, and now a spoon. Saix rubbed his hand, glared at Larxene, and snarled, “Clean this mess up, Number 12.†Turning around, the Lunar Diviner swept off.
***
Bored. I’m bored. When is this going to end. Wait a second, I’m a nobody. How can I be bored? Demyx leaned his head forward, letting his chin rest on his chest, and started to doze off. All of Organization XIII were assembled on their white thrones. They were lined up in rank, but the higher the throne was meant the more things you did for the Organization.
Xemnas was in the middle. On his right was Number2, Xigbar, and on his left was Number3, Xaldin. So on Xigbar’s right was Number4, and on Xaldin’s left was Number5. And on it went. Demyx was on the near outskirts of of the thrones, lower then Roxas for he had not done much stuff for the Organization. Axel was several yards higher then him, but Saix was as high as Xemnas himself.
Demyx could barely listen to Xemnas’s long and bored sounding, slow, and droning voice. He caught catches of “moogle†and “attack†and “keyblade†and “master†and perhaps “rabidâ€; but not much. Luxord was right next to him, shuffling through cards. Axel was passing notes back and forth to Roxas until Saix snapped at him, threatening him with his claymore, for him to stop. Larxene was daintily listening, Marluxia scrubbing his scythe, and Roxas reading the latest note that Axel sent.
“Number 7, Number 8, Number 9.†The next sentence was so sharp that Demyx felt like he had been slapped in the face. Waking up he jerked himself up, and looked around in bewilderment. He saw Xemnas motioning for him to come down with Saix and Axel, who had already teleported down. Demyx sighed and opened the corridor up. Promptly walking through, he appeared behind Axel and Demyx.
Before him, he saw a small box. It was shaking, and the sound of soft fluttering bat wings exited the small box. The sound of soft fur brushing against each other and the sound of paws shuffling on the ground. Demyx smiled. Perhaps it was a puppy or something. But he froze. More boxes, stacked up behind that small box. More and more boxes. He looked up along with a surprised Axel, and a still bored looking Saix. The stacks were tall, and the boxes seem on the edge of falling. They were all shaking violently, as if the creatures inside longed to get out.
“Numbers 7, 8, and 9,†Xemnas said, he gestured toward the box, “Open it.â€
Demyx came forth, cautiously. He knew the type of creatures that Xemnas often times raised, and they weren’t pretty. Axel was at Demyx’s side, equally as cautious. Saix, abondaning all instincts to not open the box, quickly undid the latch that held the box closed.
Small rodents exploded out. Axel shrieked and leapt behind Demyx, using him as a shield.


I also keep on using Saix, Axel, and Demyx, or at least keep on doing my fanfic from their point of view since they are my favorite characters.

 

:D Saix gets his scar.

Demyx also screamed, covering his face and throat with his arms as an explosion of rodents flew by him. Saix snagged one of the rodents out of the air by its wing, much like an owl.
Xemnas looked upon the scurrying, twitching, chirping creatures with an odd glint in his eye. Then, he said one word that summed up the entire situation, “Moogles.”
Axel froze, bend down, and picked up one of the Moogles by the wing. He held it a foot away from his face and asked, “Xemnas? What do you plan to do with these little critters?”
Instead of Xemnas answering, Vexen explained. The scientist dropped to the ground from his low throne and said, “Xemnas, after testing the keyblade master decided he was too much of a problem to keep alive. But he couldn’t kill him outright, so we have to destroy him by making it look like an accident. Moogles, or at least, rabid Moogles, are a very good way of killing someone.”
“Wait a second,” Demyx said, kneeling down a collecting a handful of Moogles, “Some of these little guys are rabid?” Vexen nodded and said, “But not all of them. So, it is up to Number 8 and Number 11 to feed them. And, for you Number 9, it is up to you to find the rabid Moogles, and sort them out from the non-rabid Moogles.”
Xemnas nodded solemnly and said, “Only rabid Moogles are useful in our plan.”
Demyx stared as Xemnas, Xigbar, Xaldin, Vexen, Lexaeus, and Zexion left the room, leaving numbers 7-13. Xigbar flashed them a mischievous smirk over his shoulder and said, “Open the rest of the boxes.”
***
“HOLY CRAP! SAIX’S FACE IS BLEEDING!!” Marluxia fainted at these words, squashing several Moogles underneath him. Axel looked up from poking a particularly fat Moogle, and glanced over at the blue haired Nobody, just in time spotting a Moogle flapping away, teeth and claws bloody. The Berserker nobody was holding his face, blooding leaking out from between his finger tips. Roxas paled and said, “Is that his brain?” THUD. It appeared that Roxas had also fainted.
Larxene peered up into Saix’s face. She smirked, a sadistic smirk. “It doesn’t look that bad Saix. It is just a big X.”
Xemnas, who had just entered at that time, saw Saix let go of his face as he felt around for something to stop the bleeding.
“Oooh, that is going to leave a mark,” Xemnas said, frowning at the bleeding Saix/
Xigbar entered, looked down on the twitching Saix, and said, “Looks kinda like an X dude..... kewl.”
***
Psssshh. A small sticky hand suddenly smacked Saix between the eyes, right on the bandages that were over the X shaped scar. Clatter. The chair that Saix was sitting in clattered to the ground as Saix jerked. Leaping up, the nobody glared at nowhere in particular, trying to find the person who did it— the bulky bandage between his eyes had cut off a large amount of his usually sharp vision. His eyes saw a small shadow move. Spiky red hair, messy blond spiky hair. Singed cloth, the sound of soft child footsteps-
“ROXAS! AXEL!”
“X marks the spot!” Axel called as the two boys ran out from their hiding spot, behind the counter. Instantly Saix entered berserk mode. Flinging his hand out, moonlight sparkled and a gigantic pwnful 1337 claymore appeared. Glistening, sharp points honed down to a sharp edge. Sparkling with all the powers of the moon itself. (I’m being way to dramatic.)
Three seconds later....
Marluxia looked up from what must have been an atomic bomb go off. From all of the windows on all of the floors of Castle Oblivion, fire exited, free to the air. The plant that Marluxia had been tending instantly withered. There was a shout and- “MY BLOODY CARDS!”
Back to Axel, Roxas, and Saix....
Saix and Roxas were stretched out on the ground. Both of them had their hair singed, and not to mention, they were smoking. Surprisingly the Organization XIII trench coats were fire resistant and saved the two nobodies from most of the damage, but no all of it.
Axel, who had trotted over to retrieve his chakrams, bent over Roxas and whispered, “Roxy? You okay?”
Roxas stirred, blinked open one eye, and said, “No you idiot!”
Demyx, who had conveniently arrived just in time from “Rabid Moogle Sorting”, blinked at the pyromaniac, knocked out Lunar Diviner, and annoyed looking Key of Destiny, before asking, “What the heck just happened here?”
***
And so, Castle Oblivion became a lonely outpost. Saix had to be moved to the Castle That Never Was, due to his injuries. Also, he said later in a letter he sent to the occupants of Castle Oblivion, it was because he was the only one out of the group that had a matured nature; even if he did have anger management problems. Along with the letter he sent them all Zexion’s favourite treat- pickled vegetables.
“I don’t see why we all have to wait here until they deem us worthy to come back and work with them,” Roxas moaned, picking at the pickled vegetables on his plate. Like most young people, he had a dislike for vegetables.
Larxene surveyed the down group over the top of her coffee cup, only one sparkling blue eye open as she drank her coffee. It was around the early morning, and she was in a bad mood for Roxas had woken her up from her “beauty sleep” with his moaning.
“Why don’t we just go and complain to them?” she asked crossly, setting down her cup on the counter and leaning back. Axel looked up from his plate of burnt meat. “Because,” he said curtly, “They will make your torture look like a small scratch. Got it memorized?”
“Depends on where that scratch is,” Demyx joked as he stuffed himself full of cereal (Fruit Loops). He shrank back when Axel glared at him.
Luxord looked up from his reading. He was holding the newspaper that the poor little newspaper boy delivered. But often times, instead of newspaper boy it was a small heartless or nobody.
“Xemnas sent a letter,” Marluxia announced as he came back in. He was holding a small scroll, tied with a black and white ribbon. The 6 organization members crowded around to read the letter. Marluxia promptly read the letter to avoid being trampled.
“Dear my fellow subordinates,
It is I Xemnas. The apprentices of Ansem the Wise along with Saix agree that we shall allow you back to The Castle That Never Was on one condition. You must help all of us find the rabid Moogles.
Xemnas
Xigbar
Xaldin
Vexen
Lexaeus
Zexion
Saix”

Axel looked up, mortified. “We can’t help sort rabid Moogles!” Axel said. Roxas grabbed the letter and read through it several times, as if believing that Marluxia read it wrong. Marluxia drew himself up angrily and shouted, “I refuse to sort rabid Moogles. I deserve more! Just you wait! One of these days I will take over Castle Oblivion! I will take over Organization XIII! I will-”
“Yeah, right,” Demyx said, folding his arms, “And I suppose that your pwnful scythe of doom will easily make all of them fall to their knees and pray for mercy.”
“But we all know that Marluxia only uses his scythe for trimming the weeds he calls a rose garden,” Larxene cackled. She flicked her hair in triumph as Marluxia coloured pinker then his hair.
Roxas shrugged and said, “We might as well go. At least we are being welcomed back; not with open arms- but at least we are. I suppose we should go. Who knows what Xemnas would do if we don’t go.”
Luxord mumbled something, but the rest of the Organization agreed.
***
Saix touched the raw scars on which the Moogle had almost slashed his face open. When the bandages had been taken off the cut was still open, pink, and slightly raw. But it did not bleed anymore. He envied the other lower rank members. They had never been maimed; nor did they know the true meaning of the word “suffering”.
Crash. Saix jerked with surprise as several nobodies, or heartless, crashed into him. The silver chair he had been sitting in was sent to the ground as he felt somebody hugging him. Dragging himself away he heard, “Saixy!” Looking down he saw a Demyx, overjoyed, hugging him around the middle.
“Oh-no.”
Jerking himself away, the Lunar Diviner smoothed back his messy hair and pulled on his gloves. He looked down with extreme distaste at the lower ranked nobodies milling around below him. He folded his arms in anger and looked over to Xemnas who was standing in the corner.
“It is good to see that the lower ranks have such affection for you Number 7,” Vexen said as he came out of the door that was behind Xemnas. He was holding a crate of Moogles, and he carefully set it down. When set down, Saix could read on the front ‘Rabid Moogles- do not touch!’ “Normally such young people have no respect for their elders.
Larxene smiled and said, “Of course we respect our elders Vexen.... but most of them are old men who like playing mad scientist.” Vexen bristled angrily at these words.
Demyx poked the crate of rabid Moogles cautiously. “How many of these are left?”
“We have only gone through three crates,” Saix explained, waving his hands airily. Axel’s bushy eyebrows shot up but before he could say anything Xigbar stumbled out of the Moogle room. Like Saix, there was a new scar on his face. This one was down low by his chin, and it was long and fresh. His right-and only- eye was glittering with hatred. His skin had a thin film of sweat, but the look of his hair, he had gone through a bunch of teeth.
He looked at the lower ranked nobodies, brightened slightly, and said, “Hey dudes! I’m surprised that you came with some of the rabid Moogles on t-” Saix slammed out his arm, hitting Xigbar in the groin to stop him from completing the sentence.
Xemnas coughed, bringing everyone’s attention from the bruised Xigbar to himself. “We are... overjoyed that you have come.”-(He doesn’t sound like it, Demyx thought sourly.)- “But, we have a dangerous situation on our hands.”
Vexen curled his fingers and said, “Some of the rabid Moogles, like Xigbar almost told you, have escaped from their cages. We have managed to round up some of them, but we see signs that they are still here.”
“What are some of the signs?” Larxene asked, she was running a long fingernail up one of her daggers, testing its point to see if it was sharp enough. “Teeth marks? Bites? Scars?”
Vexen laughed and said, “An alarming decrease in ricecakes.”
The lower ranked nobodies stared. Of all things, ricecakes?
Xemnas coughed again, very gently. “We have tried baiting them, but it seems that these Moogles have learned and are avoiding our traps. So we called you to help us round them up before they cause any real damage.”
“Damage?” Marluxia cringed, thinking of those sharp Moogle teeth near his hair.
Vexen eyed all of the nobodies and said, “These Moogles carry an odd form of rabies. They, how can I say this, mate and multiply. But when the child Moogle is born, it too has rabies.”
Again, more staring. It was rather frightening, watching brown, green, blue, and yellow eyes staring at you. With a shrug, Vexen replied, “I just only found that out after checking a certain nobody’s scar.”
Xigbar winced and Roxas heard him mutter, “That was the shot he jabbed in there when I was asleep.”
Xemnas nodded and turned toward the door just as it opened again. This time, Xaldin and Lexaeus stumbled out, holding something between them. Peering closer, Saix saw that it was Zexion; dreadfully chewed up. While Lexaeus carried the young Nobody up (Xemnas tracking him with a slightly sympathetic stare) Xaldin turned and brought out what looked like the remainder of Zexion’s weapon, a thousand splinters of silver.
Demyx gulped. “And we are supposed to go in there?”
***
Xemnas walked through tides of Moogles. He was up to his waist in them. Behind him, Saix was carefully keeping some of the rabid Moogles at bay while Axel picked them up and threw them carelessly into a large crate. He did not notice, none of the Nobodies did, as a bunch of rabid Moogles swarmed Demyx, clacking their teeth together in rage.
Zapping a few of the non-rabid yet annoying Moogles out of the way, Xemnas carefully wove his way around a nest of rabid Moogles, watching as Larxene carefully and quickly scooped them all up and slammed them into the crate before they could comprehend what was happening.
Picking up a Moogle by its wing, Xemnas watched, bored yet tense, as it just flapped its wings and said, “Kupo!” Definitely not a rabid Moogle. He threw it carelessly over his shoulder.

 

here's my rap..
some constructive criticism from fellow writers would be great =)

sight

so hazy are my memories
i try to see and i try to breath

but i realize that these hazy dreams
are more real than anything that seems.

i grab my throat and feel the beat of my heart
racing against time to keep me a part

of this world that is spinning with life and breath
but now i realize i'm gonna face death.

1 cough 2 cough 3 cough more
and i quickly fall to the floor.

i feel my eyes sear in pain
beginning to remember how i was so vain.

slamming my fist to the floor i cry,
"you fool, now you're gonna die."

i cough some more, a drop of blood.
i picture that drop turning into a flood.

i grab my chest holding back the tears
attempting to rid of all of my fears

but no use, the process has already begun
in fear and rage i stand up and run

first shutting my eyes with all my might
but then i looked up and saw a light

i could feel my legs were slow and weak
and my hand on my chest felt a leak

i looked down and saw an open chest
with my heart thumping at it's best

i know that i should have been shocked
but at that very moment my mind had locked

there is life, there is death, and no in between
and even though they are not easily seen

different paths are available for all mankind
the good ones are just really hard to find

so i realized that i had chosen the wrong path
i was blind, foolish, and full of rath

but this beating heart gives me the proof
i can turn around and fix this goof (AGGH this stanza pisses me off)

i can take the path of living true
even if it takes a year or two

but i don't care, i won't give up
my guide is right there if i look up



the end.

 

hahannuh, your rhymes are well developed - they don't seem forced at all which is a great quality to carry with you as you write! (no worries about the "goof" stanza ;)

Here's a free verse of mine:

Hourglass

The ocean is a blue cliché,
The pink sunset a rough-edged neon light through the smog.
Sand and seaweed scuff my toes in the tender spots,
Pillow the tough heels of my wave-buried feet and
Slowly cover my ankles.
There is sand everywhere,
On my face and hands,
Carried by the waves onto my clothes,
Even in the air as it is flung back,
Back into the sea that will toss and churn it
And round the sharper grains
So that some child's small pink feet
Will one day feel them,
Tender under the soft-skinned toes
Of one not even thought of yet
On our sand grain of a world.

Here's another free verse - my gr. 12 english teacher last year liked it in particular.

Missing You

Thoughts adrift
as I drove today
on an open field
fresh breeze filled my lungs
as the beauty of nature
surrounded me
cows grazing so peacefully
and I thought of you
and how you loved your burgers

 

i really like your poems inthetwilight. they create a really detailed picture, it's really beautiful. (sorry my reply is so freakin late xD) anyways, keep writing! i'll continue to share my stuff, too.

 

Thanks hahannuh! :)
Looking forward to reading more from you too!

 

Winter

Frosted panes of memorys glass

Snowy white agony on the green grass

Icy slush of years ago

the heart ache all began with a single flake of snow

cold winter breeze of love doomed to die

a love to be lost

for which even snow angels cry

painfully stricken with the cold of hate

a death born of love

a life born erate

Lust to be frostbitten by

the icy fangs of death

the painful sound of heaving...

weight on my chest



Humanity

Faltering waves of passion

stumbling roots of rejection

faceless humility

love in its infancy

risisng falls of the human tapestry

hate born of sorrow

sorrow born of delicate intricacy

tumbling rocks of expectancy

dropping into the well of misery

The attractive face of death

the homely face of life

the painful sound of jealousy...

aforesaid the rhythmic beat of humanity

 

Here's a satirical little parody I found of all the really bad Kingdom Heart Alternative Universe fics out there. It doesn't specify any fic in general, just makes fun of all the over-used ideas and cliches that the KH-fandom all too often experiences.

It is rated T, so be warned. It's not very long either... if it's not quite appropriate, then remove it I guess, but other than a little bit of language there's not a real problem...

Here you go:

How to Write a Kingdom Hearts AU Fanfic

Enjoy.

 

I find Kingdom Hearts AU fanfics to be favourite kind of KH fanfics.

Though it must have a good story that makes sense. It can't be random like Roxas has a twin sister that is actually Riku's Nobody!

 

If it's ok, can somebody check out my new fan-fic? It's been 3 years since I've written one so I need to know how I can improve and if I did good.


It's Called "A Kiss, a Lie, and a Deception"

Here's the Link:http://kh-vids.net/showthread.php?t=9970

 

Encouraging the usage of a dictionary and a thesaurus would also be beneficial in addition to your previously mentioned points about reading books to expand one's vocabulary.

Also, this is probably not so much of a technical writing component but more of an aesthetic and structure flow factor. Formatting paragraphs- where to start a new one and when double space is that special little something that relieves the reader's eyes.

I'd like to think I'm not alone when all I see is a line of a title followed by an amorphous behemoth of text and say to myself 'Do I really want to read this?'

Thanks for hearing out my two-cents, and by the way, this workshop is a wonderful idea. :]

 

No, you are not alone. That and the audacity to group dialogue in paragraphs just drives me insane.

 

In my opinion it rivals the incorporation of badly misused foreign language (with parodic/humor exceptions of course) such as "SUGOI kawaii!4" and "baka11", ARGH, it pains me to even type those examples out. There are of course exceptions to the rule, but usually the people who are the excpetions are pretty thorough when they integrate it into their writing. (common examples of exception: sushi, tostados, a character who DOES come from another country and is perhaps making the error of confusing their native tongue with English and vice-versa)

I'm not even going to try to express my...opinon on 1337 and IM speak for 'actual' diaglogue.

*rants*

 

I totally agree!!!

I can't stand reading a story that looks like it was packed into a ****ing Text Message! It drives me off the wall to read "u" and "i" in a paper. It's not that hard to type "you" and "I" so I don't know why people don't do it. Also, this is an example of a paragraph from a paper I peer-edited in an Honor's Class:

I had to keep myself from snotting all over the paper in giggles. And how do I remember this? I wrote it on my arm while reading it (it was that bad) and then copied it back down at home.

Long live ShakeSpear!

 

I remember those days of Romeo and Juliet, oh the discussions. Will the brutality against the English language never cease? OH HOW IT IS SLAIN.

ShakePERRIE is probably seizuring uncontrollably in his grave.

*Actual pronounciation from one of my 'peers' in my class, because apparently its cool to insert the brand of a mineral water halfway into someone's last name.

 

I have a very long fanfic that i'vee ben writing for a few months now. It's not based on KH, (though it does have some of the same characters and plot ideas), but is it still okay if i post a chapter or two here so i can have someone critique it?

 

Off-topic: Romeo and Juliet is a sh*tty love story.

On-topic: Sure, Zero_chaos, go nuts.