Why are the first borns more likely to succeed?

Actually that happens to me A LOT . Or when i try telling them something i hav to repeat myself 3 or 4 times .

 

i think the reason might actually be parents spending less time with the younger children? i think it's because the parents are at first energetic about being parents but then later on, it becomes more and more routine so they sort of get tired of parenting?

 

Maybe, because they are put into responsibilities as the eldest to show a good lead to the others (siblings under the person). They are the ones the others would ask things if it comes to asking parents about certain stuff they won't explain. Sometimes they had to BE the parents when their parents died. And most thing is, parents gradually take care of their first-born more than the after ones, giving the eldest one everything they can possibly do for their only child at the time. Yeah, of course the eldest usually gets to be bossy on the smaller ones. Well, that's just my opinion... but sometimes the smallest can be the toughest and clever one among all since she or he observes more on their older ones reaction. But generally I don't really think the first one would always succeed without having reponsibilities upon or consciousness in their way of life or living.

 

I think that this only occurs under certain conditions. I am the middle child with two brothers but my older brother...just doesn't try. I think that because he doesn't try I'm forced too or be harassed by my parents. Therefore, I'll probably be more sucessful due to his unwillingness to listen. Sure he's more popular but in the longrun I doubt he'll outdo me.

 

i really hope..i am first born and my parents are so protective of me.. its gonna be worth it in the long run then i guess..i am being pushed around to work hard for something..

is this rally proven or just something you noticed like..Oh..wow hmm..?

 

well, according to studies shown in articles and newspapers, it IS indeed a very large trend in MANY families.

 

Depends on the family, I guess. I'm the firstborn in mine, and not only do I have more responsibilities, I'm able to do much more because my parents have built a sort of trust. I'm currently attending college, had above-average SAT and college placement scores, and actually have managed to place myself on President's List this year ( You have to have at least a 3.25 QPA for 3 semesters in a row; mine's currently at 3.5).

My brother on the other hand has been so babied and spoilt that he just slack off thinking people will just wait on him hand and foot. He's 15 years old, but sometimes I swear it's 1 + 5. He's at risk for staying back in school right now, and he's grounded pretty much every other week. My parents will talk over the phone about it, and complain that he's not turning out like me.

 

I think it does depend on the family. My parents had a -trust- for me to do things but at the same time, they were always in my business and not trusting me where it mattered. It's like they trust me on matters of responsibility so they can go out and have fun while I used to sit at home on weekends bored off my tush. My mom was also very abusive to me and I took the hits for the other kids too often so they wouldn't have to endure it. The only grateful thing out of that I suppose is it gave me an awesome pain tolerance.

My dad did trust me with things because my mom herself couldn't do them. I.e. he worked 12 hour days when I was growing up and my mom couldn't use a gun and so he made me promise that if someone broke in to harm the family I would protect them and use it if I had to and get the family to safety. He also made me swear to never tell -anyone- where it was and that if I blew this trust he'd probably disown me. Needless to say, I took the responsibility very seriously because my dad was one of those types that you just feel that way about.

However, I can also say that in other ways I had it a lot harder. I had to fight for privileges despite working odds and ends jobs since 12. I wanted to go out with friends etc at later hours because when I was 16 to 18, I worked from after school till 8 to 9pm and well, I had -no- social life if I didn't get to stay out later. I had a rebellious streak about it. Also, I had to buy a car with my dad, whereas my other siblings were given cars with help and of course they didn't have to share the car. They also had more freedom than I did which is probably why my sister ended up pregnant at 16 while I could not even -date- until I was 16 so that I didn't do anything stupid. I had a phone in my room at 14 which I bought. My sisters had phones in their rooms at 12. I had to buy my own computer. They were given computers for Xmas. It's things like that which made me feel rather ignored at times, but yet pushed a lot.

My parents also said they weren't helping me for college so I went and joined the army to get the college fund that way and have worked continuously, and their reasoning was because I didn't get high enough grades. However, they are so proud of me now that I have a 4.0 GPA there and that High School didn't even matter when people look at my transcripts. My one sister who didn't get preggie had a great High School GPA and my parents paid for her and she flunked out so she had help from my grandparents to get her a job. I've really had little support from my family except for monetary relief now and then when I hit dire straights and the reminder to not party too much in college. In a way, I took after my father who also joined the military, and my baby brother who did too, but my family didn't even come to see me then.

So, in the end, if older siblings had it like I did and had to learn to fight for every scrap but be depended on for anything of protecting the family etc...I can see why they might make it if they don't give up and just say to hell with it all. There are times I want to say that myself, but don't because I'm determined to not turn out bad due to a sucky past. Just I think in the end the first born is always the first kid that parents have to get used to and when they have more than one kid, somewhere in there many get kind of lethargic with parenting skills or base decisions on how the first is turning out as to what is good for the others.

This isn't to say the 2nds, 3rds, babies of the family etc don't have their own issues too so I hate to say they are 'spoiled' because it's hard on each member to live up to expectations or to fight for attention etc. The more kids there are, the harder it seems to be for each member to be that happy about it. I think this is why I debate rather than having a big family, I want to settle for 2 kids because I want to be able to give them both positive attention.

 

O_O Hey... so that means, as the firstborn of my family I'll be the one who is actually successful??
xDD


Ok, being serious...

If that's what statistics show, then the reason for the firstborn's success is that the firstborns face more challenges than the second, or the third or etc. Parents, when they do have their first kid. . . well it's their first kid, and most of the time, they are sort of "lost" as to how to raise the kid [not saying that they wouldn't know how to raise the kid, but rather to what extent they must give themselves to the child]. Allow me to explain [don't really know how much sense I'll be making, so bare with me]. I'll use my own self [more or less] as an example I guess... O_O But of course, just because it's mine own primary observations and hypothesis, doesn't mean that it's necessarily true. . . <_< There could be other reasons of course.

Well now that we got that cleared up, moving on then. . .


ON AFFECTION & GRIEVANCES:
Me being the firstborn, my parents have ALWAYS been on a rather HARSH side with me, always making damned sure that I do what's best for me from THEIR point of view rather than mine. Other [and best] example would be denying me the simple pleasures of a toy when I was young. These small acts and things can grow to be something BIG, and it gave me an insight as to how LIFE IS NOT ALWAYS FAIR, a simple proverb, but I've learned and comprehended the meaning of it quite well. Then comes my little sister. The earlier act of denying me the toy does of course linger on the parents, thus when the younger child asked for it, the parents themselves cannot deny their child, this often leading to the younger one being "spoiled". The parents of course do not mean to do that as they are merely "making up" the fact that they once denied their other child of a toy. Having everything the second born may ask for, it becomes harder for the child to know and comprehend reality like the firstborn may have. And of course, there's always the case when the love of a parent “shifts” to the younger one.


ON RESPONSIBILITY:
Of course being the firstborn, naturally means big responsibilities. The parents will always look up to their firstborn for support and the helping hand. This is because as the younger child strays a bit from the “extra” care they received [again, this is NOT intentional of the parents], the parents will now look to the elder child who seems more down to earth. This pressurizes the firstborn into a crazed frenzy of perfection. The firstborn will always feel obligated to be the supporting stick of the family and they will realize this faster than the second child [oh god, I can so see this happening to my younger sister xD]. The urge to protect and be there for your family will dominate the elder child, where he/she will go through ANYTHING possible to reach their goal, and ultimately becoming successful due to their determination.


Overall, firstborns just go through more crap than those who come second. The “carp” helps the child to grow stronger and maintain a stable balance between his/her understanding and responsibilities. It isn't easy, but they still go through everything and anything to reach their goal, and it all comes down to the love for one's family, which forms the responsibility, and which forms the determination. . . where the only destination is success.


Crud, I don't even know if all that made any sense at all. O.o'


EDIT: Dang, I forgot to talk about Psychology. I'll be REALLY brief.

The psychology of the firstborn is always different [mature] than the younger one. As the elder one, the psychological thoughts and feeling always give him/her the idea that they have a lot more responsibilities [I mean that they are more aware of them] and are obligated to them. As the elder one, they feel a certain amount of pride in having so many responsibilities, thus they work harder than the others. They feel obligated to be the support of the family and so they do what they have to do succeed. The pride they feel as the older one, matures their mind and will help them to look after their siblings and family.

 

Well, my parents always give my little sister more attention than they give me. And its not always the oldest that succeed, its just how they are.

 

My parents definitely seemed to give my little brother everything he wants, but it's also partially my own fault because I told them I never wanted/ needed anything. I HATE getting spoiled; it makes me feel like I can't take care of myself. I'll spoil myself with hard-earned money I got myself, and just the fact that I'm able to do that is enough for me. They still insist on bringing me something back from business trips, day trips, etc.

Him, on the other hand, doesn't have a job (even though he can get a work permit and wash dishes or something) and doesn't do chores to earn money to spend on himself. At 15, you'd think he'd get the idea that "No means No", but he'll still throw a hissy when he wants something in the store and the parents won't get it for him. They stopped buying him things on impulse when he entered middle school. Now, if he longs for something, he waits for a holiday or birthday.

I guess another thing about being a firstborn is as you get older, your parents feel it's safe to tell you pretty much anything and everything going on in the family and actually seek out your advice. Maybe this falls under the responsibility category, but having your mother come out of nowhere asking you how to handle the next outing with your grandmother who's money burns a hole in her pocket is more like reliability than responsibility. Or trust.

 

Actually, a Child conceived shortly after the birth of another child has a greater chance of good health, intelligence, lifespan, etc. because the Womb is so ready and rich with resources from the previous child, that it's readily available to provide for it from conception.

Well, that's just the biology part of it, as some have suggested already, it may have to do with how the child was raised, treated, what kind of expectations were put forth for the child, etc. that may lead to either great success, or great failure. (In the case of my oldest Sister [first born]: immense shameful failure)

Physiologically, though, a second-born child has a richer gestation if it's conception was closely following that of the previous childbirth. (Which in my case, I was the 3rd born child, born 1 year after my 2nd born Sister, I've been in advanced classes my whole education with an IQ of over 140, she sorta has a slight learning disability and gets sick easier then I do)

 

q?

I'm a first born. We're better because we're used to being leaders, especially if you have younger siblings. The only time a leader isn't an elder child, its because they've gotten help from the older siblings, and they ended up making better descisions in life thatn the older one. Its as simple as that!