I've figured it out. Satan's real name is Stan. Stan is an underpaid employee of Disney who spends most of her nights terrorizing your computer and using it as a weapon to attack China and several other countries which can't decide who likes "him" more. Also, Stan is a girl.
Whatever! Everyone knows it's that ****** bag down the street, and no one likes a ****** bag, not even they're own mother.
Well...according to that Eminem song featuring Dido, Stan's a crazed fan who becomes so pissed that Eminem doesnt answer his calls or replies to his fan letters that he (Stan) drives off a bridge... But I hope this Stan has a happier story.
