Whispers

Hmm.. I guess this is my poetry corner then ~

This first poem was for the earlier poetry contest where the theme was the elements.


I whirl among clouds so soft and white
The sky; it tastes like November
A million raindrops, a cooling breeze
Fly through the air, now I remember

I step into calm and settled water
Liquid glass; like a smooth caress
I glide through the reeds, utter peace
Lie in the water in my angel's dress

I dance with angst around burning flames
Scorching embers; it feels like hell again
Heat licks my skin, what torture to melt
I long for the relief of icy rain

I lie under earth and under the world
Utter darkness; not even a sound
Condemned to be forgotten, a whisper of life
Come rest with me child, deep below the ground ~


Ill update this thread whenever I feel the urge ~

Thanks guys <3

 

I'm not much of a poet, but I loved it. The rhyming was decently complex and I can tell you didn't take any shortcuts. Also the description incorporated was shockingly powerful at points. Great overall. :3

 

Thanks guys <3

The last two lines were kinda' creepy, Im gonna write more poetry like that I think.

 

Lovely. 8D

I loved it. I could see that you put deep thought into this. Good job.​

 

This next poem is entitled "The Lone Wanderer" and is about a wolf.


The Lone Wanderer

Lonely I stand, the only hunter
Guided by her, the moon in winter
My sole companion, my oldest friend
She lights the way, a hand to lend

I have run so many miles
Over grass and sand and scree
Dark fur rugged from raging seasons
I, the wolf, am ashamed to flee

My pack is gone, they long since faded
Shot by greedy men in strife
I run, to dodge those hunters' bullets
A lone wanderer, fearful of his life.



:3

 

This poem, is simple, but nice. Nothing out of this wold, but great nonetheless. At first it reminded me of Wolf's Rain ending sequence, but then it turned darker the poor wolf escaping the humans. I also enjoy the rhyme. Good job.

 

Loved both of them. Like the rhyme scheme in both of them ^_^

Have some creeps in the first one *shiver*

Second one is deep. Great job overall. :)

 

Why?

You promised me I wouldn't be cold, mummy
You promised it wouldn't hurt or sting
You promised you'd come back to me
Why did you abandon me like a wretched thing?

It's cold here, waiting by the road alone
Only a blanket to scare the ice away
Why, why won't you return, mummy?
I've been waiting every day

Was I too much of a burden, mummy?
I can change, I promise I'll try
Why did you leave me by the roadside, mummy?
Why did you leave me to die?



No idea where that came from >: I promise I wasnt abandoned as a child or anything D:

Only a Dream

Your presence always meant so much
Even from that first gentle touch
Your smile outshone the stars at night
A hug from you sent my heart alight
It seemed we faced the world as one
But when I awoke, to the morning sun
Realisation dawned with the early sky
You were but a dream, a thoughtful lie
I had been fooled by the facade of sleep
Tricked by emotions in my mind so deep
You were only a dream, fuelled by my bliss
Intricately woven since that first kiss.​

okay...that one was odd too :3​

 

Oh wow, both quite sad, but beautifully written. The rhyme schemes were a bit simple, but they worked, and both poems flowed pretty well. The imagery in the second one is a bit stronger than that in the first, but your descriptive writing is great overall, either way. Great job. :3

 

Thanks, John :3 Ugh, I don't want all my poems to be sad though D:

my entry for this months poetry contest. (Theme was justice)

Justice and Inequity waltzed through the ball
Spinning and twirling, a beautiful sight
Justice wore a white gown; Inequity a dress
But this was not a dance but a battle through the night

The two foes never met, never quite agreed
Justice stood for fairness; Inequity felt spite
While they waltzed they spun, a whirl of good and bad
Forever a war between what is wrong and right

Still they dance today, unseen by the world
Their graceful movements on the balance of a knife
Maybe Inequity shall triumph, cause our race despair
Perhaps Justice shall be queen and save the Earth from strife

 

You're definitely getting better at this. I loved Only a dream, it was so amazing....I guess I can only seem to relate to it. I've seen the entry, and I must say....Darn....the poem is definitely a tough competitor. I'll try to whip up something as good as you, but I'm not sure that can be possible xD.

 

Where the Sea Meets the Sky

I waved you goodbye
Where the sea meets the sky
Where the ocean splits land in two
You hugged me goodbye
Where the sea meets the sky
Where you sailed away into blue
Since we said bye
Where the sea meets the sky
I've been waiting here for you
Now I just cry
Where the sea meets the sky
Alone; like you must be too.

 

That's some great stuff. The syllables remain fairly consistent from stanza to stanza and give it a nice rhythmic feel as you read it. The rhyme scheme is a step above that of your other poems in terms of its complexity, so that was nice. Plus the theme of the poem itself was nice and very d'awww worthy. You're getting progressively better, great job. :3

 

Your smooth, red surface hints
At a sweetness none can define
You're an imperfect sphere, coated with gloss
An endlessly crunchy taste, so divine

You nestle in trees, becoming near ripe
Safe out of Man's greedy reach
But you fall from the sky, land with a thud
Tempting me, more than your cousin the peach.

 

Oh, beautiful arachnid temptress
Lure me closer, filled with glee
Catch my wings in your glossy web
Watch me try to struggle free

You smile at me in suspense
Your octo-eyes red with greed
And hunger for my juicy blood
Coming closer with more speed

I twist and cry, your prey
Realizing my fatal mistake
I flew right into your alluring web
And now my life is at stake

 

Interesting perspective, I like the idea of this one. I REALLY liked the "beautiful arachnid temptress" line. That stuck out nicely. Rhyme scheme is simple but effective, and the length is a bit short, but not too short by any means. Nice job. :3

 

Sing me a lullaby
Lull me to sleep
Give me a teddy bear
To which I may weep
Kiss my cheek gently
Tempt me to sleep
Tuck me in blankets
Out you must creep
Turn out the night-light
Tell me to sleep
No need to struggle
Nor count many sheep
Cure me of nightmares
Just bliss-filled sleep
Cosy in my dreams
Snoozing so deep

 

Absolutely lovely. I love the rhyme scheme. I don't see rhyme schemes like that too often, though I'm not exactly the most seasoned poet. =P The repetition of the word "sleep" worked pretty well in my opinion because of the theme of the poem. Well done. :3

 

"Oh!" cried the children, running outside
Three hundred rockets lighting the skies
Gunpowder flares, delighted suprise
It's Fireworks night, Fawkes' demise
The flashes of color are followed by cries
of wonder, and ongoing sighs
from adults and young with sparkling eyes
It's Fireworks night, Fawkes' demise
Not until midnight the bonfire dies
Not until midnight the last rocket flies
Not until midnight the red moon shall rise
It's Fireworks night, Fawkes' demise.



Experimenting with enjambement and a slightly more difficult rhyme scheme >3

 

Come closer
Take my hand
Let's soar into the blue
of an open sky.
Let's defy gravity,
captivity and hate
Let's rush through the clouds at one hundred and eight
miles per hour
So much power
So much joy to fly.
Escape from your cages and break your chains
We'll soar forever
As driftless as feathers
Despair left behind and no more pain.

just trying out stuff, really. (: