What's the best joke you've eva heard?

Hey! That guy is dating a rock!
More like radiometric dating! Hah!

 

Nerdy jokes go?

 

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That's not a water molecule! THAT'S MY WIFE

 

A physics professor and his assistant are working on liberating negatively-charged hydroxyl ions, when all of a sudden, the assistant says, "Wait, professor, what if the salicylic acids do not accept the hydroxyl ions?" And the professor responds, "That's no hydroxyl ion; that's my wife!"

 

a blond is suspicious that her husband is cheating on her
its at night and her husband is sleeping then the phone rings
a womens voice come ons "Is the coast clear?"
she tells her "How am i supposed to know the coast is 200 miles away!"
she hangs up and her husband asks "who was that?"
she awnsered with "dumb ***** wanna know about if the coast is clear!


dont be surprised if that was not funny

 

if my mother was dieing in the hospital and i was the only person in that room id say " see you mother your going home" and lock the door while the nurse knocks on the door screaming for me to open the door and ill answer back " its stuck"....

its not really funny but when i heared it i laughed my butt off for some reson...

 

That's not funny at all! That's the exact opposite of funny! You can't get farther away from funny than you just got, go die in a fire for joking about your mother's possible slow death and how you would stand there like a masochist and watch her die.

 

Jesus christ you have no idea how not funny that is. That's so far from funny it's just...

Okay. Let's do a little bit of visualization here. If funny was a city in North America, that joke would be in the Horsehead Nebula. Do you understand the point i'm trying to make?

 

Quite ironically, this post was much funnier than the joke it was responding to.