Read the title. Here's what I want to know: Why do people date and get upset because they don't have a lot in common? And why do they break up over it? Is it SO WRONG to have a different interesting, or to do something a different way? The way I see it, the two people can't even tolerate eachother, so why are they even together? The point is, is that if you have a difference with someone, just see how their way is and see if you both can connect with eachother, and work together. I guess this is more of a thing that I find totally redundant and cynical, rather than to discuss it. I've seen a LOT of this kind of thing, and I can't stand it. @_@
i guess i know what you mean. people need to work through their differences and learn to see the other person's side of things. differences are the cause of many of today's problems, not because they are bad, but because people dont seem to know how to handle them. i can understand if a couple is just totally going in different directions, i.e. one person wants to travel and never have children and the other wants many children and to settle down... but some things can be worked through. im not so sure if this is exactly what you mean... anyways, the major problems with differences are those rooted in race, culture, religion, politics, society, and lifestyles. people need to learn to understand one another, differences included. also, out of my own interest, what caused you to bring up this subject?
An ignorant friend of mine broke up with her BF because she thought that because he had too many, MINOR, differences, it would never work out. Things like daily habits, music interest, movie aspects, etc.. And yes, I was speaking of the above type of differences. Major things like cross the country diff. is a different thing. I just don't understand why people can't cooperate in our world, you could say. But yeah, it's religion, culture, politics, etc.. Discuss. :3
I think it's important for couples to have more similarities than differences. Then they'll be able to have conversations about their shared interests and actually do things together that they both enjoy. I do agree that it is important to learn about different cultures, musics, whatever from other people but I still don't think I would spend the majority of my time with someone who was the opposite of me. Also, I have found in my past experience, my friend tried dating someone who wasn't from our 'social group' and both my friend and her boyfriend were ridiculed by their own groups for associating with somone who wasn't 'their type', if you know what I mean. :/ So that's another factor that would stop someone from mixing with others.
You need the similarities in order to feel like you belong, but you also need differences so you can balence each other out. I hate it when people do that. In the last few months of our relationship, my ex would only focus on the differences. I had to keep telling her that A) There were just as much, if not more, similarities, and B) our differences were complimentary. *sigh*
Exactly. It's the things like having a few differences that cause people to break. It makes the effort seem useless.
srsly Y do ppl think th@ their boyfriends/girlfriends have 2B clones of them??? that would B the most boring relationship evr & if they were so alike, what's there 2 talk about if they're just gonna say pretty much the same things???
i think one reason people would rather have more similarities is so that they can do more things together without fearing that their bf/gf would not want to do that. this can also be true with conversations, i mean having more things in common allows couples to talk more deeply about certain things and to go do things together. i mean if your bf/gf has nothing in common with you... what do you guys do? kiss and cuddle? cmon now.
I dunno. I personally would die if I dated someone similar to myself... or go crazy. Especially as you get older, and you start to understand yourself better... why would you want to date someone who you've already figured out? Part of a romantic relationship is interest and the chase, and I mean... if you've got that person all totally figured out... it's just no fun. From what I've seen, couples that have different interests do much better than couples who are exactly alike. It broadens the formers horizons and such. Besides, it's not the interests that matter... what's important is that the foundation of morals and values are the same, because then nothing else really matters. It's like that in any relationship, be it romantic, platonic, etc. I think people care about interests so much though because maybe their scared that their own interests will be judged, you know? Like if their partner doesn't like the same things they like, then one will ridicule the other. Or their afraid they'll just never have anything to do, and spend their days fighting about how to go out for the evening. Just an opinion; I've got nothing to back that really... not off the top of my head anyways.
yea, ppl with completely similar interests would make very boring relationships. and i dont' see why ppl would care so much, it makes it more interesting to get to know someone.
You need a balance of similarities and differences. The similarities will bring you together and give you things in common with your partner, and the differences make the relationship interesting. If both partners were identical in their likes they would be boring, as there would be no exchange of ideas and discussion. Liking similar things such as films or music means that they have something they can share together.
yea, i happen to like going to the movies with ppl who like criticizing movies, i do it too! it's so fun!
id have to agree with the consensus that people in a relationship need to be balanced as far as their similarities and differences go, or atleast more or less balanced. my parents share similar religious, political, and social beliefs, and a common cultural background. still, as people they are very different. my mother is grounded, rational, a movie lover, calm, and collected. my father, on the other hand, is hasty, a music lover, sporadic, and so on. they do not agree on all issues. still, their differences seem to balance their relationship. if you stick it out through the differences, you learn from your partner and accept that person. from what ive seen through my parents relationship, differences in two people can actually be quite essential to their relationship.
I think people break up about too many minor things. What Darky said about that girl breaking up with her boyfriend just because of movie choices, music, whatever is really pointless.
That's the problem D: People think of changing others but never think of changing themselves therefore how can they all get along?
