What? Watches Some Random Anime of the Season

Discussion in 'The Spam Zone' started by What?, Apr 7, 2013.

  1. What? 『 music is freedom 』

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    Hello.

    April is the cruelest month, breeding
    Animes out of Glorious Nippon, mixing
    Moe and action, stirring
    Dull seasons with ordinary high school students.

    So let us take an unfunny swing at this interesting show because I must stave off my current boredom.



    Welcome to Gargantia on the Verdurous Planet. This is a touching story about boats written by the one and only Gen Urobuchi. In all seriousness, I am looking very forward to this show and I do enjoy it quite a bit so far despite everything below.​
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    Wait, this is not a boat. This is a beautiful paradise for glowing coloured space circles.​
    And I see no verdurous planets. Verdurous is not something I would use to describe the cold, black void of space.​
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    If a space colony was my homeland then I would have no time for the Internet, to be honest.​
    Is this Avalon? Did British imperialism claim the entirety of space as well?​
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    FUUUUUUUTURE
    FUUUUUUUTURE
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    You tell them, Gargantia. I mean, truly. That goddamn sun and its terrible sunburns whenever I visit the beaches. It is the worst.​
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    See? We even have an image of what it did to my skin a few months ago.​
    Except in space. Space skin. Colonies. I am not sure anymore.​
    In retrospect, this image is terrifying because it is as if giant plant life attacked the colonies and-​
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    Oh.​
    But whose idea was it to build colonies mildly in the shape of leaves. Is that why space is verduruous.​
    I find weeds like these things absolutely hideauze myself.​
    *cue laugh track*​
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    Pictured: quantum superposition​
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    Dear lord, it seems like the harvested children from an entire four families for the army. Can you imagine having 2000 other twin brothers and being forced to fight alongside them against giant space weeds?​
    I can. It is called summer up north in cottage country.​
    But anyhow, it appears the space weeds are attacking the leaf space colonies and we require these legions of space Weed Men to space weed hack the space weeds. Space.​
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    Waking up from his lovely sleep is the young man named Ledo, who is seen here with his brain waves different from the average shounen/seinen mecha pilot while his wooden ocarina floats around him. He shall be our protagonist. Possibly. I am unsure at the moment but he feels like protagonist material. He even possesses common sense according to this brain scan!​
    ...​
    Ah wait, no, there is no possible way he is the protagonist then.​
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    Suddenly the RIAA attorneys appear on his screen telling him to stop pirating his gosh darned rock music. Shame too, because this really does seem quite like the end of the world as we know it.​
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    Instead it turns out that they will be playing swing music to get rid of the weeds. Is this a new form of space pesticide?​
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    The actual plan is to wrap the giant flower in green silly string and call it a day before the space environmentalists can get after them.​
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    Oh! Ledo must be eligible for some sort of scholarship by this point.​
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    His mecha computer pal begins informing him about how his service hours are a wonderful thing and suddenly reveals the underlying Darwinian social structure of this entire calamity.​
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    HAL 9000's space mecha cousin turns out to be a very pleasant artificial intelligence. It is even green. It is my favourite character thus far.​
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    Come on, sir. I understand waiting to leave until after a song is over but you do not see me lounging in my driveway while I crank up the beats.​
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    After that captain finishes playing his space electroswing cover of Macklemore or whatever that song was the space immunoglobins exit the windpipe of the universe and appear in some dark, sideways, twisted Rainbow Road minus the rainbow.​
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    They spray some pesticide on the giant space flower and it begins to dissolve into space oranges.​
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    But unfortunately, the flower does not react well to the citric acid and retaliates by revealing that it actually is in fact a Sith lord, deciding to fight them with dark lightning.​
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    The ships are blasted apart by the pink vermicelli and- wait, that is the forward line? How many ships are there, exactly?​
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    That answers that. Is this what would happen if someone cubed the Thin Red Line and blasted it off into space?​
    Anyhow, they fire a giant laser starfish at the weed because echinoderms are a good defense against flowers.​
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    Ledo begins his philosophical waxing on how he is the perfect soldier while the battlefield around him cosplays as a Touhou level.​
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    But suddenly the weed retaliates with flower power and the fleet is struck by giant lasers and flying space snails (???)​
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    Space Akihiko is not amused by this.​
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    I wonder if the Soviets developed something of this sort in the Cold War.​
    I would not put it out of them. Or the Americans, to be honest.​
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    Ledo attempts to help the struggling weed killer force as they are smacked around by evil space ladybugs or whatever other garden pest is inhabiting this part of the battlefield.​
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    But suddenly one of the floating weeds tries to kiss him! Nobody can resist the charming good looks of a sexy Japanese space bishounen.​
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    It turns out that these weeds are too much so Ledo's commanding officer tells him to land. Goddammit Monsanto.​
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    SEE YOU SPACE COWBOY ...
    Ledo tries to land but is sucked into one of the random wormholes that the army used to get here and thus ends the first half of this show that contains a deciding lack of verdurous areas or ships.​

    (continues watching the show)​
     
  2. Chie Satonaka Twilight Town Denizen

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    were you bored....? XD
     
  3. KeybladeSpirit [ENvTuber] [pngTuber]

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    No, he clearly had better things to do.
     
  4. Jiku Neon Kingdom Keeper

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    It is time for you to guys to acknowledge What? as a healing type writer.
     
  5. A Zebra Chaser

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    That anime looks unbelievably generic.
     
  6. What? 『 music is freedom 』

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    I give it no credit. Everything wonderful happens past the twelve minute mark which is why I am too tired and excited to comment on anything else.
    Even this scene was fairly well done, actually!
     
  7. Labrys King's Apprentice

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    Yup since he's a mod and all.[DOUBLEPOST=1365391352][/DOUBLEPOST]
    Great show.
    Too lazy to finish Erueka seven.
     
  8. KeybladeSpirit [ENvTuber] [pngTuber]

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    Is that a spin-off of Eureka Seven?
     
  9. Labrys King's Apprentice

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    You can say that. It's more of a "What if " kind of show.