What to do,What to do? *Details*

My bedroom door got taken away from me due to the apparent following

-I never do anything around the house
-My Music is Too Loud
-I slam doors
-I have a bad attitude
-When im being lectured I 'give a blank stare'

Also,Im grounded for the summer,No internet acess and yeah No music (All not going to happen)
But here is what they said about why im grounded

-Well I go do stuff around the house but apparently I ''need to have a smile on my face while doing it''....? WTF
-I was playing slipknot on kerrang,To memorize Paul Grey,The volume was up to almost half,it wasnt loud.
-I 'slamed doors in frustration' because I was being lectured about my ''Crappy Music''
-I have a bad attittude because im being lectured.
-I give a ''blank stare'' because I was once told by my mum that if im ''Ever being Lectured,let it go in one ear and out the other,just nodd and say 'Uh-Huh' '' but it seems that she doesnt like the advice she gives.


AND apparently,accordiung to my step dad,Were not ''getting on as a family anymore'' and we have to start bonding and thats coming from a man who could only be seen from the back of the head 8 hours a day because he was on facebook,chatting up some woman,now that he was cault,WE dont get on as a family.

Okay,What should I do? I tried to make it sound Un-biast as I could,For people who now what im like emotionally,Im not depressed,Im angry..


A lttle help?

 

I still hate the idea that my parents will take my door. Then again, I have a very small room and no wall to hide behind because that's covered by the bed. You probably have some space that's not directly in view of the hall.

If you're being told to smile around your own house, you're probably just not presenting a 'pleasant mood' to your family. Now, it's in your rights to be in anything but a pleasant mood, but apparently not in your rights to look like it. (I have never understood this at all. I guess it's just one of the human race's logical fallacies.) Now, you're probably stressed, and taking the door away doesn't help this at all. Try to calmly inform them of that fact.

If you're playing music to memorise something I recommend playing it through headphones instead of turning up a radio. MP3 players can pick up radio stations, so just find a place in the house with good reception and crank it up.

Also, your stepfather is almost certainly hypocritical if your statements about him are true.

 

Ok heres what you should do.....

first off talking. Tell them how you real feel and what you told us and tell your step dad if he starts to interrupt ("Make your comment AFTER, If you interrupt one more time then we're never going any where with this bonding thing K?") and if he makes a smart comment remind him as a human being he cannot force you to do the following:
-Smiling
-bonding
-trying to be a good son
-trying to help out
-live in that house
-be nice
-& more
I think with the whole smiling thing is something that seems like a personal problem and your parents aren't giving you space,they'e on your case due to well

jusrt talk and let us know how it goes explain all that also tell your mom on the whole blank stare thing the reason you give them that is they are being to hard on you,they aren't meeting halfway either i mean it sounds to me that you know the reason you show bad attuide and don't smile and listen to music and act like you don't care and is easily getting mad at them because they're not meeting half way so in a way ur consincious is sayintg to your actions why dohld i follow or listen or talk to them when thetre not meeting me halfway? Why should i be there example?' (thats actually true although u don't think it, it's really true)
make tem read these and make them and tell them to read it because if your stepdad says'YOUR too obessive!' ask him him hows the lady friend, how long did you talk to her?' ask him that and see what he sees although they're going to read this try talking about therapy (that always starts bonding and in therapy they have to listen if they're not willingy to talk for free)

You gotta try and work half way, thats how family gets along otherwise, thats how,you as the child, later becoames affected!

good luck dyll! ^^ ^^ believe me i had this problem with my mom and dad y'know my mom before she died.....but we never did reslove it...so thats why you should you never know!
-true yet sad stry^^-
~E.R.E.B~

 

Ah this is a tough one...Have you told them how you feel? Explained that you think they're going a bit back overf the top

 

Here are some simple solutions to the "problems" that your parents are calling you out on.

1) Do something once and a while like take out the trash. Also about teh smiling thing they can't make you do that. Just try to act like your not mad but not happy. That'll show them that you don't mind doing the work but that you also don't really care about it.
2) Get headphones for your music. They can't call you out on the whole music issue if you get headphones.
3) Take something heavy and attach it to your door. That way when you "slam it" it'll be too heavy to slam and instead it'll sound like you closed it normally. (This one is kinda stupid but maybe it'd work)
4) The bad attitude thing entirely depends on their opinion. If they say you have a bad attitude it's probably because of the tone of your voice when responding to them. Try to talk as normally as possible or bite your tongue to hold back the bad attitude/anger. It's what I do.
5) Try to look them in the eyes more often. You don't necessarily have to pay attention, you just have to look them in the eyes and they'll think that you're paying attention to the lecture.
Hope this helps honey. ^^

 

Do you honestly help out around the house? Do you have weekly chores that you're supposed to complete, or do your parents expect you to take the initiative on your own?
If you do have weekly chores and you're not doing them, I can see your parents being upset with you. When I was younger I was forced to do the laundry for my sisters and myself, and I constantly neglected to do it. Probably out of laziness, I'm not sure. But honestly, sometimes it saves a lot of arguing and frustration if you just take a few minutes to help out. Mow the lawn sometimes (it's good exercise!), wash the dishes (cleans your hands nicely), etc.
But don't do the chores until you get on your parents' good side and then stop completely. Just get into the habit of doing them everyday and you won't even notice it anymore.

Oftentimes you can't tell if you're playing the music too loudly, and yes, I understand that parents can be unreasonable about it. If it's really such a problem, just do what Umiyuri said -- start using headphones.

Simple solution: don't slam doors anymore.
I get that sometimes you get worked up and need to take it out on whatever is closest to you, but find a healthier way of dealing with your anger. Trust me, slamming doors can lead to $100 picture frames falling off the walls. >_>

Well you're a teenager, everyone has a bad attitude at this age.
Just learn to cope with the little things that annoy you, and practice thinking before you do something. Before you say something that might be offensive, take a minute, count to three, and if it still sounds okay, go ahead. But think about how your actions effects others.

Well I can't say that this is entirely fair of him, but maybe spend an afternoon with them every now and then? Even just a few hours -- it won't kill you, and they'll appreciate that you did it. Are there any television shows or activities that you all enjoy? For my mom and me, we like to watch Gilmore Girls together. Try doing things like that.

 

...Oh, crap. You've got the box room as well, haven't you. ;A;

...Change in the bathroom.

 

Smiling actually does help. It's one of those surefire ways to make yourself look and feel better, both physically and mentally. Take a look here: http://longevity.about.com/od/lifelongbeauty/tp/smiling.htm

 

Yes,but wouldn't I look like a total idiot for smiling for no reason? and besides,My mood has been the same for a while-If my,um...'indifference' has a sudden turn around,wont they get suspicions of like drugs and stuff?

 

Get a blanket and some drawing pins. Nail it above the doorframe, so it covers your room. It's a door that helps cancel noise, obscures vision, but can't be slammed

Try to just stay away from them. Headphones are a must. I've stopped playing via speakers, and in-ear headphones block out other noise, and make it easier to listen to music.

 

Mmm if you don't have internet access you can use my laptop and if you lost your mp3 again i'll give you a loan of mine and when you are annoyed at anyone in your house imagine you killing them while you are doing your evil laugh and when you think your about to smile think of someone you hate
Hope this helped in a way

 

1 Ask your parents i'll do anything to get everything back
2 make a truce that you won't do again
3 do everything your parents say or else their gonna take it away from you again.

 

Try and keeping talking and use the suggestions...K? ^^

OMG HI evilfiretruck! :glomp: what a nice best friend! ^^

 

wow, thats messed up.... my advise is that you dont have to do all the stuff they say, just take care of the stuff that peves them off the most, and do the smile thing (i dont get it eather) becuse all the small things you do will eventually build up to get them off your case. hope that helped XD

 

Okay, here's what I'd do:

Think of something that'll make you smile. It could be anything, think about this while doing your chores. Even if you hate them, you still have to do them. It's your parent's way of making you responsible to live alone in the future.

Either turn down your music to half the volume, get headphones or try and talk to your parents about the music. Do you play your music to loud at inappropriate times?(i.e: first thing in the morning?) If so,tell them, calmly, that you are willing to only play loud music at certain times.

I slam doors too, especially when moody. As a result, I've broken my bedroom door. What I find to help is walking into my room, counting to 3, slowly and in my head and then shutting the door. It calms me down.

Bad attitude? Most teenagers have a bad attitude for no reason. Explain to your parents how you're feeling, are you stressed about anything?

Try to look more alive when being lectured. Nod a few times, go for direct eye contact and when they're finished say "I understand."

Talking to your parents will also help with the bonding that your stepfather wants. You're making an effort to talk to them and they should be grateful for that. Also, next time your mum lectures you and mentions your blank stare, wait until she's finished and then tell her that you remembered her advice of "Let it go in one ear and out the other,just nod and say 'Uh-huh'" then give her time to say something (because she will, mothers just do things like that).

I probably didn't help much, but I really think you should talk to your parents.

 

Not at all. Smiling broadcasts confidence and high self esteem. And I doubt they'd jump to the conclusion of you're on drugs, and if they do ask about the sudden shift just say that you're trying to better yourself.

 

Misty's advice is the best one I heard here(and some others). It's sounds very possible for you to this.

Also, it's no use putting so much excuses. Life is only angst because we turn it into some dramatic thing. Putting excuses and trying to justify silly things is only going to make things worse. Stop acting like a victim and start listening to other's around you.

Listen to everything, yet only retain the good. You can't hope for things to get better if you keep putting excuses for everything, which in the end are only gonna affect you.

Also, this freaky friday door thing is so wrong...

 

....Get the lap top ready...xD

Tried a few times...doesnt work with them.

They know that im really pissed off about it,so if I put on a happy face wont they just think im doing that until I get my door again...(Eventually)

I was stressed about exams,Still am but im now pissed off about the whole situation.

Um,They asked if I was stoned a few times because when im actually happy (Not pretending to be) I say the most random sh!t.

When the door got taken away from me the first thing I did is sighed,said ''Yeah alrii' '',sat down on my bed and read a magizine....Sadly the situation cault on later,when I realised I was in deep sh!t xD

 

Someone please lock the tread-Im ungrounded,my door got put back mainly cuz my room was to messy and nobody wanted to see it...

So thank you everybody for the great advice!! ^^