Okay, despite how stupidly pathetic this sounds, I'm actually shaking while I'm typing this. Took me quite a lot to even try to post a thread about this, let alone type this. So excuse me if this is...vague. Basically, I feel terrible. I feel stressed, scared, angry, depressed, all simultaneously working together to produce this feeling that I can't bottle up. My motivation has hit a low, I don't want to do anything anymore. I lash out at friends verbally, because I can't keep feelings in. I refuse to go outside(today I didn't even go to school), for no apparent reason except the fact that my self-conscious has decided to have a field day. I start breaking down at random times of the day. I sleep until 3PM in the afternoon, not because of laziness, but because I don't want to be awake. All this and probably more that'll happen in the future. It's just the fact that I have no idea whats happening to me. This hasn't really happened before this badly, and I'm clueless. I'm confused to why I feel like this. Make of this what you will. I'm just posting this out of desperation that somebody may know why I'm feeling like this here. Later.
Whenever that happens to me, I tend to try to find something that inspires me - something that sends shivers up my spine (in a good way). Usually, it's an epic movie (for me, Independence Day, or one of the Narnia movies, or LOTR) or song (Rammstein songs, Dragonforce songs, The Last Night by Skillet, etc) that makes me want to go out and kill something, and then I just channel that energy and use it when needed to motivate myself.
MSUK. You might be going through a Major depressive episode. or perhaps some sort of depression. And that is not healthy at all. Try to eat something nice, go out somewhere fresh. and if you feel like you can't handle that, then you need to get help. it is no laughing matter. please do go on the safe side with this.
No. I'm 100% sure that it's slowly built up, lately my life has become evergrowingly negative. I think you hit the nail on the head. I think that I'm becoming less motivated because I feel like my social standing is abysmal. That's not an overstatement. It's completely true. I don't talk in school very much, and that's usually because I don't want to. My entire education life has been taunted(I used to be bullied alot, and still am at points), which lowered my self esteem to a halt with social life. I've been finding it hard to get out of my bed in the morning, let alone go outside, and at points I don't even want to eat. As for help, I've always believed therapy and such to be patronizing drivel(I'm extremely sorry if I'm offending here), and although I've had it for a while before, it made me feel worse at certain points. I felt like I was weak, and I couldn't deal with things on my own, spontaneously.
One thing I've learned in all my years that has helped me out a lot is a simple phrase: "People are stupid". What I mean is that, regarding everyday life, the opinion of the ordinary person is worth next to nothing. I prefer to listen to the smart and well-informed - they seem to have the most to say and they say it the best. Just ignore the idiots and surround yourself with the smart people and don't worry about your "social life" - it will develop on it's own. And your self-esteem can only come from YOU. No one else can affect it if YOU don't want them to. If YOU know you're a good person, no one can convince you otherwise, and if they try, stop listening. Totally agree. My first therapist (Christian woman - darn my parents for sending me to her) told me to keep all my feelings bottled up inside and never let them out. Eventually I tried to flip a table onto someone for insulting me in middle school because if all the repressed anger and hate. psychology is only good for diagnosis of serious mental disorders - for instance, I have ADD and Asperger's Syndrome, but I never would hae known it except for my shrink. Other than that diagnosis, he has done nothing for me.
MSUK. since right now you're enery is drained, you should eat colorful fruit or something that tastes real good. you need light, perhaps going to a park in the morning to take in the sunlight. Draw, write, do things that make you feel good. I know you probably feel like you don't want to, but you must. This will help you regain some energy and stability, but it won't fix your problem, but its a good start.
sorry youre not feeling well; i know what its like. id repeat what everyone already posted but that really wouldn't help you so ill just say in addition that writing out your feelings helps a lot of people. if you decide to just put anything into words its good to see it on paper and sometimes that releases a lot of tension.
dont worry dude whats ever going on im sure itll pass :) whats ever happening to you is only temporarily, just keep an open and stay positive. if things get worse use you wisdom to light your path:)
All i can say is to keep posting here because getting this stuff out really helps.Try and do pyshical exercise like go to the GYM.I was like you at one point and the GYM pulled my up.You expend your emotions there. I'm sorry your going through it.
I'm the same way. I don't really talk in school. I feel like I'm solo when it comes to interacting with other people. I've also also been picked on I'm also currently in the situation. Have you ever been picked on for what you like? It sucks and it takes a toll. That's why I like to keep my interest silent and not out there for everyone to know. In ways, it bothers me and I just say it sometimes because I hate to bottle what I like to do and etc. I still don't think it's worth to bottle things up because it can affect you as you know. I guess you and I need to work on confidence, but I do wish the best for you.
ok, three possibilities pop into your mind. the first is there is more to this than you're telling us, and whatever that is, you are upset about. second would be a depression disorder. third could be bipolar syndrome. questions I have for you: Do you feel bad all the time? do you occasionally hit all time lows? will you randomly go for several Days feel extremely happy for no reason? If so, do these happy periods end abruptly with a depression? Do you ever feel like you are in between depressions and happy periods? Do you feel like you are in control of your feelings? Do you ever randomly throw tantrums? Do you ever find yourself trying to come up with reasons for feeling the way you do? Has everything only gotten worse when you have gotten older. The reason I never asked, "do situations such as this natural for you?" is because you said that, "this has never happened before, at least not this badly." from that quote I get the feeling that such depressions have happened before, but as you said, this is the worst of them.
To answer all your questions - -Not all the time. There are random short spells that I may feel, you could say, generic, neutral. They're not necessary happy feelings per se. -Most times, yes. It doesn't take long to lose all of my self-esteem gained for the day. Probably because I become too sensitive to things. -No. I don't believe that's ever happened. -Not really. If I do get happy moments, they're usually not spontaneous, meaning that I try and cheer myself up(maybe by listening to some of my favourite bands). -No. -If my stress bar hits boiling point, I can either try and take it out on someone else, or just break down. I know it's not fair whatsoever, though it's how I deal with it. -Usually I know why I feel bad, as it's most likely happened prior to me becoming depressed(for example, there was a series of events that transpired only a few weeks ago which fueled to this happening, I posted a thread about it a while ago). As for depression disorders and bipolar syndrome, I've never been diagnosed with any of them. I have been diagnosed with AS(Aspergers syndrome), however, if that helps.
This, my friend, is absolutely a clear case! :) You have a 'winter-depression'. Find a bright light somewhere and point it at your eyes and just look at it. It will help, im serious here. SERIOUS! DO IT NAO!! This is why you made this thread after all, right? To get helped... Well, now you have been helped, so do as I said. Im very certain this is your case here and the solution is to be in bright light. Just dont look straight to a bright light of course. 5 minutes a day with a bright light pointing light in your eyes. A week should do... You know, they even sell bright lamps meant just for this purpose.
Well, my best explanation would be puberty. Be ready to ride a whole emotional rollercoaster. It's gonna send you up and down, and round, and round. One minute you'll be happy as can be, the next you'll be wishing you were dead. There's nothing you can do but endure it. If it's not that, I don't know what to tell you.
To me, without knowing details exactly but hearing that you can pinpoint things that are bringing you down, it sounds like you've become depressed and also frustrated. It's made you anxious and angry because it has built up to such a level because there seem to be multiple problems of the past that have not been able to resolve so that you can go forward. One of the things I noted you saying is that you have been bullied and people have discouraged you from even thinking you have a chance academically. I was bullied too until I became sick of it and resolved it in myself that I may not be better than others, but I'm also certainly not worse. Some people are rotten at times and they say the worst of things to those who will listen to them. Some people get off on encouraging others to suffer. These are the people that you should ignore and not even give a second glance to. I know it is hard to do but they are wrong and only you can let someone hurt you with words. Maybe part of what they are saying, you believe is true, but in the end, look at the source of who is saying the whole rotten thing and realize that they are talking trash so who the hell are they? If you see your own faults, you can work on them. You don't need an idiot telling you what your faults are. You can mold yourself how you want and take charge of your life. This includes academically. You want to do well, what do you do? Study and take some time for yourself to research things you enjoy. Work on the troubled things and if you need, go to a book store and get some helper books on subjects you have trouble with or computer programs which can assist you more. You can take charge of your life in this route and well, blow off the nay sayers. Another thing you pointed out is you have a lack of friends. This can be tough to change around. Are you often quiet at school? You might want to try to associate with some of the shyer or quiet people as well if you would find that easier, or see who is amiable at all and try talking to that person. There are always others that are feeling just as alone as you are. Don't be too desperate to them or they might weird out but if you approach some people, sooner or later someone is going to be your friend. Maybe try to invigorate yourself also by joining a club of some sort. This of course may take some time. Some things you can do to help with depression and frustration anxiety are: Make sure you try to only allow yourself 8 hours of sleep if you can. Too much or too little of sleep are both bad for you. A nap now and then is fine but too much sleep exhausts you too and makes you lethargic. Try doing some exercises or get into some kind of thing like martial arts or a sport. Depression and anxiety can be helped by having a strong body strong mind philosophy to some degree. It helps regulate chemicals in the body and release more positive endorphins. In simple, so it's not all big talk, it gets your blood moving and gives you more energy, though at first you might feel it is opposite. You also build up your endurance. Try eating some healthy foods like with protein in them and a vitamin a day. Drink more water if you can. Some invigorating protein foods and a vitamin will help pick up your metabolism and give you some more energy to help you get through the day. If you feel really angry and frustrated, as funny as it sounds, beat on a punching bag or a pillow or something that can't be damaged but that you can take some anger get out on. If nothing else works, try going somewhere away from others and have a good yell or play some music with some loud voices that goes along with how you feel, and vent with it, singing to it. When you feel that anger slip away, play some soft music that is not pessimistic like some Pure Moods or something like that which is relaxing and non-stressful. You might also want to try meditation as I know it's done wonders for me. I recommend it to anyone to help as it's helped many people with anxiety and stress to help get rid of some of the burden of emotions that are blurring thought progresses for at least a temporary time. Sometimes that temporary peace of mind is enough to come up with ideas on how to deal with problems. If you want to know some meditations, I can describe them for you. Try going for walks now and then for like 30 minutes. Just try to look around at what's around you in a good nice spot as you go and well, see if you can focus on that to find some serenity and calm. Or go to a favorite spot to relax. If that's difficult, try doing some light hobby that does not take much to do at first so you don't find yourself frustrated with that project. As you get into progression with one task you set for yourself, pick gradually more difficult tasks. It will help get your brain back into gear so that you can see that things can be accomplished. If you have other problems that you'd want to discuss, feel free to post them and maybe we can give you some ideas. I hope things get better for you and that you feel better soon. You seem to have quite a bit on your plate so breaking those issues up can help in finding some positive resolutions. Hang in there.
Well, just one thing: This might happen again. Don't worry, life is like that. but hopefully you'll be able to deal with it better. Try and demostrate through actions that you really are concerned about school and college.
