What is the real age to know what Love is?

Well, it's a real case of when you know what to sacrifice and for whom and at what times.
If you know how to respect a woman, you'll know how to love one. If you know how to give up your single life to spend it with someone you truly care for, you know what love is.
Love is knowing "I'd rather be here right now with her, than anywhere else in the world".

 

See, the danger with answering "It's not age, it's more like emotional maturity" is that some teenagers who know **** about love are going to consider themselves long past their incredibly low standards of emotional maturity.

You don't know what love is until you've seen both sides of its medallion up close.
I'll put it like this. You can say that you know what love is when you've been together with your partner for over five years at the very least and have experienced several heartbreaks before.

Oh, and online relationships don't count of course.

 

Please back this up with some evidence.

I'm not claiming that I fully love DF. I know that I care about him a lot, but I'm reluctant to use the word love to mean anything more than the love one has for their friend. I'm just a bit annoyed that you totally dismiss the possibility.​

 

You may want to give a reason for that. After all, we've got a few entries into the Cutest (Real) Couple contest.

If it's not the body, as has been said before, then why can't the internet convey the rest? Assuming said couple webcam, etc. I don't see what's so different.

EDIT: Amber beat me to it, as I expected.

 

Why don't they? Curious.

I won't state anything that Amby and Pika_Power said, though I agree. But honestly, why not? Think of a website like this, there users no matter how young or old that consider other users friends. You can establish relationships over the internet, obviously. You can feel compassion over the internet, you can feel sadness over the internet you can build trust over internet, you can express feelings and opinions over the internet.

But it's impossible to fall in love and have it mean something? It's impossible to feel for someone else so deeply and irrevocably that you consider it love? Not saying that that is all there is to love, it can be very complex.

I just don't see how it's not a relationship, just because it's online. Unless every time you get online, you're just a robot staring and typing with no emotions whatsoever. How isn't it?​

 

Love. L'Amour. We all want a little something to do with someone because, hey, nobody's too crazy on the idea of being lonely. But is that really all there is to it? We see all kinds of Hollywood overdo-its and divorces and pairs that were mis-matched to begin with, but still we live in a world where love goes on. Don't get me wrong, I mean, I think it's a b-e-a-utiful thing, but do we know what we're feeling when we say we love someone? Depends.

Confucius says "To love something is to want something to live". Now, I think that to have those kinds of feeling for another is a true show of righteousness and humanity (maybe that's why true love is such a hard thing to come by. Hey, go figure). When we think we have these sorts of feeling for someone, we do things. Stupid things. For example:

We go and we start this little form of diplomacy we call "a couple". It has a system. What-to-dos, what-not-to-dos, taboos, codes of conduct, the whole sha-bang. I think that's what's wrong with the whole thing. We take the whole thing way too seriously. No! Nonononono! This is why I hate Hollywood. The things these people put in the minds of the young these days. Before you know it, people will start using "commitment issues" as an excuse.

While the commitment to begin with is usually exaggerated, it does carry some weight. You have to think of ways it's going to work. If you want to start a relationship, but the conditions are ****, then grab a life boat, Cap'n, because this boat ain't worth going down with. Stick to thinking of what's best in the long-run, ways you can work it out without losing our cool, because this is another person we're talking about. Of course, you can always try to persevere these little obstacles, and that works out great in some cases if you're capable, but it all depends on who you are.

We all act a little differently when we're with someone we like. That's perfectly normal at first, I even have the same problem, but if you're going to ask someone out, get comfortable with them, try to find ways to be yourself with them, and THEN hit it off. Remember: tuning before playing.

Personally, I've found someone I generally care for. I think this girl's great, firecrackers on the fourth, but I'm not gonna do anything major about it for a long time. Why? Because that's just how I am. I love this girl, yeah, but I have to see how far I'm willing to go with her. Most people would say that's a sad thing, and some people will sharpen their noses to stick it in your business's ass-crack, but, hey, I'm a rolling stone. And rolling stones, my friend, gather no moss. They keep on a'rolling 'till they find somewhere they want to settle down for good. And that's me. Go fish. That's just my case because that's the kind of tune I play; it's my own thing.

When we meet someone of the opposite gender (or common in some cases, whatever floats your boat), and we've known them for a long time, sometimes we'll think you have deep feelings for that person. You have to be careful in that situation because it's dangerous. You don't really know if that's love you feel or a brother-sister type of bond, or maybe if they're just feelings that are still under development. In any case, it's stupid to jump the gun. These are important decisions, people, and they take time and patience to figure out. You don't want to make something awkward out of it, because then, well, that's just plain awkward. It IS possible to be best friends with someone without having feelings for them, y'know?

My final words are: do your own thing. Whether it works out or not depends on the type of person you are, and if you're able to go through with it in a way that's comfortable to both of you, then you've got a good thing going on. Like I said, I'm not telling you what to do, these are just my thoughts and how I see these situations. So, do it your own way and be proud. Whether you like to try and commit to one girl or you like to play the field a bit, it's totally up to you, and that's cool. You gotta find your own tune.

 

Love and relationships are strengthened and threatened with quality time and hardships respectively. It's the things both partners go through that make every relationship beautiful and unique and diversity is key in that.

However, that diversity is severely cut short by the sheer distance in online relationships. Going to amusement parks together, the first kiss introducing eachother to eachother's parents, dreaming away in eachother's eyes, getting implemented in eachother's circle of friends, small gifts, physical tenderness, living together, supporting your wife/girlfriend through labor when she's having her first baby etc etc.
Note that "physical" love has a tendency to evolve and reach other stages and challenges over time, while online relationships are much more static (and thus, in my opinion, plain boring). The absence or impairment of these make it so that online relationships are built on an inferior kind of love. Hate to burst your bubbles kids, but it's not the same and it never will be.

 

I can tell you've never been in an online relationship. It's not any more static than most teenage relationships. Heck, most relationships these days are centered around sex. Online, you don't have the physical temptations, so the relathionship can be built on an emotional and mental level before you ever even get a chance for the physical.​

 

I have been in both online relationships and physical relationships. You have no idea what crap I've been through in both feilds. I can honestly say that it didn't matter if the person was here or far away, it was just as stressful, painful and rewarding.



How so? I can admit that I would have much rather had my online boyfriend here to do things with, but there were still very special moments that we shared. Especially considering the fact that we were both very imaginative. And a boyfriend and I actually did "meet" each other's parents for the first time. Webcam and phone calls. It was very embarrassing and him and I had a good laugh about it after. And he went to hell and back trying to get the approval of my friends who constantly texted him random things about our relationship and who added him to their msn and checked-in with him often as they got to know each other better. There were also a number of tender moments between us.


If you're referring to sex, the majority of us are teenagers. To be able to maintain a relationship without sex, should be something to be proud of. A couple of my boyfriends in person dumped me after two weeks without making out or sex. To be able to go years without it and maintain a healthy, loving relationship should be considered a good thing. Of course, if you really just cannot stand it, there are alternatives for online couples.

It doesn't have to be the same. When you get into an online relationship you shouldn't think: "This will be exactly the same as it was when I was with my boyfriend irl." It's not the same. But there are pros and cons to both of them. To say that an online relationship is not a real relationship merely because it's online seems incredibly ignorant.

 

And are most teenage romances based on actual true love? I thought not. You're comparing online relationships with inferior teenage flings instead of mature relationships. This is exactly what I'm trying to prove; internet romances are on the same level as teenage lovey-dovey romance and we all know what level that's on. In other words, you just gave the worst answer you could give.

Online relationships are much more static than physical ones (for the record, I'm referring to relationships in real life as physical relationships, I don't mean sexual relationships). View below and back for explanation.

As for those "physical temptations", they are part of real-life relationships yes and this is one of those challenges I spoke of. I'll elaborate below.

Also, referring to the text I put in bold, I have little interest in having a discussion with someone who falls back to shameless generalisations on her second reply.

No, I don't know. As far as heartbreak goes, I'll agree. It's painful no matter how far your would-be spouse is.
I do know that it makes sense that real-life relationships go through more ****, or at least more different kinds of ****, than online relationships. The '"physical temptations" Amber spoke of is one of many examples. It's much easier to keep your desires of the flesh in check when your partner's a screen than when (s)he's right in front of you, even if you have webcam.
An intense, rewarding desire or a lukewarm frustration that cannot be fulfilled. The choice really is a tough one, ain't it?

Yes yes, webcam and phone calls and all that pseudo-communication. That's why I said absent or impaired. Meeting face to face is by all means preferable: words and gesticulation are both important and I for one use both to analyze just who I'm dealing with and how to deal with them more accurately.

Also, your line in bold basically proved my entire point. Thank you for that. This may end now.

I wasn't referring to sex. I was referring to evolution from hidden crush, to dating, to be implemented in eachother's life, to living together (with marriage between them, sometimes), to dying with your lover nearby.
This evolution is much weaker online.

It doesn't have to be the same but it should be at least as satisfactory. I can imagine people getting out of an intense real-life relationship and starting up an online relationship with someone else, and then start thinking: "What, that's it?". Things are missing. It is as incomplete as it gets. Online romance might cut it for some people (link to my previous reply where I talked about incredibly low standards) but when you compare the two, real-life relationships are richer experiences. Truth be told, if you didn't feel the difference, I'd rather question the fire of your real-life relationships first and foremost.

 

In this world it would be 12 yo but for real its just how mature enough u are!
I would say 21yo and outgoing

 

"In this world"
referring to KH-vids?
It doesn't matter what age, really. Here it's accepted at any age. Though, I would say that if two people are going to go out, they should both be at least 16/17. Unless for some reason they have gotten a word in a dream to go with someone.
I met my girlfriend at 15 and she was 14. We're still together :3 Of course, this was in real life. And Styx, we've gone through many heartbreaks and upsets. We've seen the road twirl and twist, but we're still together. This is real love.

Oh and a small note.
I was watching a video at school a while ago and this guy said "love is choosing the higher good...for the other person." I fully agree.

 

Well so-far she is a teenager, and I doubt that she has seen very much of mature relationships. The only thing she is able to compare it to is teenage flings, because in her day-to-day life, that's what she encounters most. She is unable to see the deeper ones develop, because those are the ones doing it out of the "OMG, Bob is leik, going out wif alice!1!" limelight of a school, free of much of the unnecessary drama of school-life.

I disagree. While online relationships certainly have the ability to be on the same level as teenage lovey-dovey romance, it can also go to the stage beyond just the lovey-dovey side, where the couple becomes integrated in each other's daily life. I am not trying to claim that online relationships are perfect, but I can certainly say that they are not limited to the degree that you are suggesting.

A married couple's romance has far less movement than that of a teenage fling, which has declarations of love and break-ups at every turn, yet I'm sure you would agree that the married couple's love is more likely to endure than that of the teenagers. This example is proof that a static relationship can still be a deep and caring one.

Physical temptations even more predominant in an online relationship, for reasons I will give below.

You have not denied the first allegation of never being in an online relationship, so it doesn't seem to be too far off the mark. As for the second statement, we've covered that sort of thing above. The relationships Amber sees everyday are teen-aged flings, not true relationships. So when she makes the generalisation of most relationships being about sex, she means teen-aged relationships. As you and others and myself say, teen-aged relationships are often just flings without thinking, driven by hormones lusting after sex. Her generalisation sounds to be one that you agree with.

Yes, physical temptations are part of real life relationships, but they are also part of online ones. You overlook that your partner is not the only temptation. Cheating, and holding out against it, is a far greater test, because it proves that your online partner is more important than the body's desires. That is only more satisfying when the online couple finally meet, knowing that they held out for each other, rather than take a quicker, but less satisfying route.

Meeting face to face is an eventual step, not something that the relationship just starts off with. It's an experience that the couple must endure to obtain. Real-life couples do not have to work at the relationship to meet face to face, it's simply taken for granted. So in a way, that first face to face meeting is the equivalent stage to a first kiss in a normal relationship. Contact is not something that the couple goes without, it's merely something they have to earn. You wouldn't describe a relationship where people didn't kiss right off the bat as a lacklustre one.

No, not yet. Just because she would rather have her boyfriend with her does not mean that their relationship is inferior. No one is claiming that being away from their special someone forever is best, but they are claiming that being apart while getting to know each other is better. That way when they do meet each other, the experience is all the more special.

The evolution online is different. It goes from meeting in a message board to chatting on MSN, to the decision to be a couple. Then there is the progression from MSN to voice chat, web-cam, texting, phoning and finally meeting in person. All those things that normal relationships take for granted. A relationship built upon a foundation where everything is obtained with effort is stronger than a relationship that is just handed those things on a platter. It's like in a pokemon game: The pokemon you trained up from the start of the game will be stronger than a pokemon captured at the same level. You believe that a relationship should progress steadily. An online relationship does progress steadily, it just starts off with different milestones to the real-life couple.

I can imagine someone getting out of a intimate relationship and starting up another real-life relationship and then thinking the same thing. Of course if the person has had everything just given to him/her, the concept of having to make an effort to get what they took for granted must be difficult to grasp. Imagine a couple that started having sex as soon as they met. They then go their different ways after a while, and one of them tries to start up a normal relationship with another. They would feel that the lack of sex was a massive downturn, and no relationship could be good without it.

 

Exactly.

Correct. Of course, every evolution line is entitled to an ending, and as far as I know marrying and/or "settling" can be considered the final stop and leaves a finished product. However, marriage brings a set of challenges that online relationships (purely online relationships I mean) will never even come across. So in this case, who's having things taken for granted?

I know this. As a matter of fact I wanted to point just how incomplete her view of love is, and how she should learn to compare online dating to each "milestone". Thank you for that.

Resisting against cheating is not exclusive to online relationships either. As a matter of fact, situations where that other person just seems a lot closer and more willing than your current lover are quite common. It's not identical to what you mean since you're less likely to get caught when your girl-or boyfriend lives on the other side of the world but both deal with the "what you want vs what you can have" problem in any case.

I never once mentioned meeting up by the way. I see every relationship that ends with both partners living together as a real-life relationship.
If you read my second post (the one where I explained why I don't consider online relationships) you could have guessed this, since I spoke of things that are impossible in an online relationship but are possible in a real-life relationship. Let's focus on online relationships that never see the light of day outside the world wide web. After all, these are the ones I meant.

Meeting up is not necessarily the final step. All the better if it is though. Also view above.

Unfortunately for your point that "special" feeling is by no means exclusive to online relationships. A lot of people claim that the person they eventually formed a relationship with claim that (s)he's the "person they've been waiting for". Of course whenever someone says that with a straight face I roll my eyes muttering "oh please..." but I do think they might feel that way. How is that any less special?

Also note that this special feeling can turn into a major disappointment. You know as well as I do that talking face to face every time gives certain "personality warnings" which gives the other partner enough time to have second thoughts (which is a painful experience in itself at times yes).
The sudden confrontation between two people who have never met before is much more "in your face" and abrupt.

With all the goodwill in the world, I cannot take this paragraph seriously. I'm sorry, but I'm going to stop try before I laugh so much it hurts.
Getting past a person's circle of friends to have a private conversation with him/her, exchanging e-mail addresses and cell phone numbers, or even simply not losing your nerve the first time... Do you honestly believe that these things are to be taken for granted? No offense, but that's hilarious.

Also, the transitions between MSN, voice chat and webcam aren't on the same level as the first date, first time to his band gig or whatever and first kiss, to name a few.

That's not really what I meant. I meant that a real-life couple has more...options. More things they can do together and more paths they can take. I think starting an online relationship after having had a real-life one may lead to more disappointments in regards to the limited amounts of paths you can take than vice-versa.

 

I wasn't aware you were talking about purely online relationships. I know that in the end those wont work out if they never actually meet. I was talking about relationships that start online and progress to meeting in real life. I don't claim to fully understand love yet, but I do know it is possible to care about someone you've never met.

My apologies. We were defending/opposing two different but similar things. Someday, I plan to meet DF and continue where we left off online. But not yet. As much as I'd love to meet him now, there are some... issues preventing that. Also, these days, we talk more often on the phone than we do on the computer, so it's technically not purely an online relationship anymore. It's more like a long-distance relationship. Slightly different, not quite the same.​

 

As everyone else says here, there is no true age. It naturally comes to you. It can either come early or late.