WELCOM TO THE LAND OF DEAD welcome to the land of dead and land of shame... were you stay in the damp and cry in cold... your all alone in the land of the dead your all alone in a cruel world no where to run no where to hide... no one can heal your aching soul.... your in the middle of a bloody war.... you cry and scream thats all... welcome to the land of hate.... were you cry your self to sleep listening to the moaing maids trying to get some peace... hope is all thats left singing in the mellow beat... faith in you can dance to the music so we can burn down the street.... buring fire will feed you soul as angeier feeds our mind... you dont rember anything but fear when you dream its a nightmare...death is your only friend...hate and angier heals your soul..dispare and disprssion is all there is... faith and hope have disapeared...vanshing into the dead night...
Wow, Dark, this is deep...although I think you meant to say 'where you stay...' and twice, you forgot an apostrophe for the "you're" and "nowhere" is one word, and "that's" forgot an apostrophe, and "angrier," "anger," "vanishing," "disappeared," "depression," and "despair" are accidentally misspelled. Also, some of it should have more spaces so it won't seem so long... Anyway, great job. I can almost vividly imagine the land of the dead...it's awesome! :) Awesome job! ...Although I still like light of course. XP
The poem itself gives a vivid image but the grammatical errors make it harder to read. I'd like to see you correct it becuase than maybe it wouldn't be such a pain to figure out what you're attempting to say. It's a very dark poem, and I personally prefer happy things, but you pulled it off well. Good job.
i agree with what the others have posted; their is slight originality and the poem flows nicely, though lack of spell and grammar check makes it hard to get through. decent job, though! :D
thanks and i know i dont spell very well and for the grammer i try my best...thanks i'll try to fix it when i have the time...
