Once, in a time known as the Dark Ages There lived a legend whose coming had been foretold by the great prophet Merlin. It was said that after a century of war this young maiden would unite her divided people And lead them to freedom. It did not say how... ----------------------------- This is a new story I'm writing. I hope you can guess who its about. I added my own touch to the great story. What do you think of it?(this is just the prologue). DISCLAIMER: Joan of Arc and all the characters except Fleur are real and belong to themselves and no one else, I claim no credit for them. --------------------------------- Chapter 1 Rain dripped into the pail steadily as young Fleur watched it, with a look mixed with boredom and impatience. "Ok Jeanne, this one is full," she shouted to her twin. Jeanne appeared from the next room, walking quietly on the dirt floor. Fleur handed Jeanne the full bucket and quickly switched it with the empty one. She gave a half-hearted smile, before walking towards the door, lugging the pail with her. Fleur mirrored the smile before turning back to the new pail.Craning her neck up, she frowned up at the gaping hole in the roof then at the door where Jeanne had disappeared. ---------------------- Jeanne shuffled out the door just far enough to pitch the water out of the tin bucket. The rain was pouring with no sign of letting up, pounding the rough, wild French countryside with relentless force. She frowned and stuck her tongue out at the spitting rain. "Jeanne d'Arc." Jeanne spun around back towards the house, expecting to see her mother. No one was there. A great and blinding light shone on her and the soft, sweet voice began again. Operor non timeo. Vos have been electus per Deus. EGO sum Sanctus Catherine quod EGO sum vestri patronus sanctus. Vestri vicis mos adveho tamen pro iam vos es necessarius hic. Vado quod EGO ero vobis. Amazed, Jeanne tilted her head upwards, toward the voice. The rain splattered her face and plastered her hair down but still she stayed frozen. It was a strange language but she realized that she could understand it. "Yes, I will..." she murmured awestruck. ------------------------------- Back in the house, much the same thing was happening to Fleur. "Ok.." she whispered as the voice departed along with the light. Immediately she jumped off the stool she was sitting on, making it clatter to the floor. Jeanne dropped her pail and tore inside the house. They caught each other by the elbows. No words were needed. Their eyes told everything. ----------------------- I know the first chapter was short but I was busy and now my computer crashed and I won't e able to get on for a while.
Chapter 1 Rain dripped into the pail steadily as young Fleur watched it, with a look mixed with boredom and impatience. "Ok Jeanne, this one is full," she shouted to her twin. Jeanne appeared from the next room, walking quietly on the dirt floor. Fleur handed Jeanne the full bucket and quickly switched it with the empty one. She gave a half-hearted smile, before walking towards the door, lugging the pail with her. Fleur mirrored the smile before turning back to the new pail.Craning her neck up, she frowned up at the gaping hole in the roof then at the door where Jeanne had disappeared. ---------------------- Jeanne shuffled out the door just far enough to pitch the water out of the tin bucket. The rain was pouring with no sign of letting up, pounding the rough, wild French countryside with relentless force. She frowned and stuck her tongue out at the spitting rain. "Jeanne d'Arc." Jeanne spun around back towards the house, expecting to see her mother. No one was there. A great and blinding light shone on her and the soft, sweet voice began again. Operor non timeo. Vos have been electus per Deus. EGO sum Sanctus Catherine quod EGO sum vestri patronus sanctus. Vestri vicis mos adveho tamen pro iam vos es necessarius hic. Vado quod EGO ero vobis. Amazed, Jeanne tilted her head upwards, toward the voice. The rain splattered her face and plastered her hair down but still she stayed frozen. It was a strange language but she realized that she could understand it. "Yes, I will..." she murmured awestruck. ------------------------------- Back in the house, much the same thing was happening to Fleur. "Ok.." she whispered as the voice departed along with the light. Immediately she jumped off the stool she was sitting on, making it clatter to the floor. Jeanne dropped her pail and tore inside the house. They caught each other by the elbows. No words were needed. Their eyes told everything.
This was good. I really like where this story is going. Although it may be short, it's still a good chapter. Keep it up, The Fifth Element.
^-^ thanks, I really appreciate you being the first to finally comment !! *reps* ------------------------------ sorry the last chapter was short, the next one will be better but since my computer is crashed and I can't visit the library often then I won't be on to write more for a while.
I think I need to see more of the story before I can make an honost judgement. Don't get me wrong, I think it will be good, but I feel a bit TOO lost, ya know what I'm sayen? I'll make a more accurate judgement in ur next chapter though, but hell, it isn't a bad way to start a story ^_^ (I'm one of those guys who is considered to be a rash critic by meh friends. Just thought I would say though)
Wowzers.... that was awesome! I'm a big fan of Joan of Arc. Add a little more to your chapters and it's a fantastic story! Keep up the good work!
kewl ok here is the next chapter. I couldn't post much because my computer was messed up but now I'm on a different one so... Chapter 2 "Was that..." Fluer couldn't figure out the words to say. Jeanne just nodded and they both wheeled around and sprinted for the church, their cloaks flapping behind them. The wind and rain stung their faces but that wasn't even on their minds. The church was a few yards off and they sprinted even harder, making Fluer stumble. Jeanne caught her and they regained their footing still heading for the church. --------------------------- As they burst through the doors of the small place, they seemed to remember where they were. Fluer and Jeanne solemnly walked to the pew and knelt beside it, crossing themselves before sitting upon it. Jeanne's knees hit the dirt floor with a muffled thunk. She folded her hands and closed her eyes. Fluer could proccess what was going on so she just gazed around the room. It was small but cozy in a way, with rows and rows of candles and a small room off to the side that was where the priest lived. She could hear him in there and then he emerged. The Father was a short man and his hair was gray, almost white. His eyes were warm and wise, showing that he was a kind man. He seemed surprised that they were there but regarded them with a smile. "My children, is there something you wish to confess?" Jeanne was still praying so Fluer answered for them both. "No...it just feels good to pray," she said quietly, her voice echoing off the stone walls. The Father looked at them for a moment then motioned for her. Fluer stood and followed him into his quarters. Once they were in the room, Father spoke again. "I have never seen such piety at an early age," said the Father in a low voice as he watch Fluer move around the room. She was uncomfortable with his praise so she tried to change the subject. "Father, what is happening in this picture?" Fluer was pointing to a picture of a battlefield. The field was packed with soldiers on one end with lots of archers on the other. "That," he said, sounding almost bitter," is the Battle of Agincourt, one of the darkest days of our history." "Why does God make the French suffer," Fluer asked, sounding hurt. The Father sighed and his expression was unreadable. "Come, sit down," he said," We suffer at the hands of man, not God.....Our queen, from another land, has disowned her son and given her daughter in marrige to the English king." "Our queen is the woman in the legend...the one who will destroy France, but who is the maiden who will save it?" Fluer interupted him eagerly. He chuckled and put his hands up. "Patience my child. Now, as I was saying," He took out a long blank sheet of parchment and grabbed a quill pen and began to draw, "This is France, see? And we are here. This area is occupied by the English soldiers. This is Burgundy. Now Burgundy has made a pact with England so they are on the English side. So all this fighting is to determine who is the rightful ruler of France." -------------------
The first thing that noticed me, were the text colour. creative thinking! Although, 2 great first chapters! yay, 300th post!
This was very good. I enjoyed the part when they entered the church. Keep up the good work, The Fifth Element.
