Unless I get enough enthusiasum I've decided to give up on trying out my Xoldcu and Kirux stories so i'll just stay with the aftermath story, Xehanort's Return. Prologue- War at the Frontline Xehanort chuckled as he walked down the plain of Keyblades where all the Keyblades were forged. King Mickey, Sora and Riku all were there each carrying their trademark keyblades. Riku was about to charge but Sora angrily approached his long time adversary. "HA-HA-HA-HA!" laughed Xehanort as he suddenly split into two forms his heartless "Ansem" form and his Xemnas form. Xemnas quickly drew his blades of nothing and spun wickidly as Sora approached. Riku and Mickey both tried to attack "Ansem" but he quickly had his heartless guardian protect him and quickly threw the King to a pile of Keyblades that were shaped like one from Radiant Garden and from Tifa. "Did you miss me Riku?" "Ansem" said mockingly. Riku angrily tried to strike Xehanort's Heartless but was blocked. "I did, I would like your body back. My Friend."
Very nice, but some constructive criticism: *wickidly should be spelled as wickedly *Riku and Mickey both tried to attack "Ansem" but he quickly had his heartless guardian protect him and quickly threw the King to a pile of Keyblades that were shaped like one from Radiant Garden and from Tifa. This sentence is a bit of a run-on, and repeats the adjective 'quickly' too many times. It should be changed to something like: Riku and Mickey both tried to attack "Ansem," but he quickly had his heartless guardian protect him. Instantly, it threw the King to a pile of Keyblades that were shaped like the ones from Radiant Garden, and the ones from Tifa. *King Mickey, Sora and Riku all were there each carrying their trademark keyblades. Riku was about to charge but Sora angrily approached his long time adversary. In this sentence, it starts off a bit...roughly, and you might want to detail it a bit better, like describe how Sora held back Riku for a moment, or how Riku stopped because he saw Sora, etc. *When you talk about Ansem, you should use apostrophes (') instead of quotation marks (") because when he talks to Riku, it gets rather confusing. Otherwise, you did great. The story starts off very intriguing, and I can't wait to see what happens next.
