This was actually an assignment in Creative Writing. I really hate having to stick to a certain style, but I'm actually pretty happy with this one. I don't really have a title, but temporarily I'm calling it What Have You Got to Lose? though I was thinking of titling it Alcohol or something similar. What have you got to lose? Gather your memories, and take them with you Give me your single, best excuse You fell asleep in your chair, hand on the booze Headache and nausea from the amnesia-brew What have you got to lose? Oh, the carnage from self-abuse Throw the empty bottles, there are more than a few Give me your single, best excuse Where is she now, your beautiful muse? She’s hiding in terror, she’s only two What have you got to lose? Mother is scarred, because you overuse She runs every night, doesn’t know what to do Give me your single, best excuse Put down the bottle, you with no bruise If you can’t control it, get in the queue What have you got to lose? Give me your single, best excuse
A villanelle that's both refreshing and by the book. I have always found it hard to forge a poem in one of these traditional structures, but you seem to pull it off with such ease. I quite like this piece and hope to read more from you.
Thank you :) There is definitely more to come. Most of the time I don't write in a certain structure, but I do have some more assignments to write, and I'll see how they turn out.
I really like your poem! The phrases that are being repeated every time are a really nice touch in my opinion (maybe that's necessary for a villanelle? I don't know because I don't know what a villanelle is haha xD). I also like how you describe the situation, I can imagine the situation (the mother running desperatly, the alcoholic, etc.) right before me which is really nice. Lastly, it has a nice flow so again, pleasant to read. Good job! n.n
This is really good! It flows really nicely,and I love your style of writing :3 The repeation of the phrase is really good aswell xD
