Van Helsing (Cont.)

OOC: hi!! ok i have a question... since vanny can only kill dracula by turning to a werewolf, idk how hes gonna beat him now. this is what i propose:

1. Vanny and dracula beat the weenies out of each other with hand-to-hand combat, and the smexy vampire eventually kicks his butt into the next demension.

2. Jinx can rip Hikari apart all she wants with like... 50 million of herselves as backup XD

3. Edward can get smacked by Mary cause he's a little girl, and Hannah can kill her to protect the phial thingy from dracula's castle

4. Michael can stand and be epic with whats left of carl...

5. And Beebeeface can discover the meaning of life thru a conversation with the horses in the stables XD

THEN... gasp... dracula can call off his brides to go heal his wounds and we can convene at dead-anna's castle to have edward and vanny get in a fight where, conveniently, eddy bites gabriel to infect him and then when he meets dracula again he can rip his brains out...

But, of course, we have to solve the problem of giving van helsing the antidote before midnight the next day... which i think jinx should be in charge of... even though the syringe is at this moment (for some reason) safely stored in edward's invisible back pocket :D

What do you think of that? just some idears... XD

 

OOC: sounds ten times more cool than the ending of the movie! lets do it! :D

 

Van Helsing met Dracula and threw a punch at his face, which the vampire easily dodged.

"You're pathetic!" Dracula shouted, all his kindness and humor gone.

Hikari looked up and saw Jinx. "What the hell are you doing here?" she snapped, throwing her prey to the ground. "Want a bite?" she giggled.

 

Jinx looked up from the ground at Hikari. She felt a twisted smile fall across her lips as she imagined pouring out all her anger ontothe newborn. "Yeah... I do, come here." she said, her smile gone again as she rose and grabbed Hikari by the front of the shirt.

 

Dracula did a super-awesome Tama-chan kick into Van Helsing's gut, knocking him to the ground.

"So that pretty one you carried away like a princess," he chided softly, pinning the hunter down with a heavy boot on his chest. "Your girlfriend?"

"Shut it, you a.sshole--!" Van Helsing shouted, but was cut off by the extreme amount of pressure on his lungs.

"Ugh," Hikari sighed, looking down at Jinx. "What are you going to do to me? I'd like to learn that trick of yours... is it cloning, or something?"

 

"Hardly," Jinx answered, throwing her against the nearest wall without letting go. "It's much more interesting than that." she added, glamouring herself to look like Hikari and sound like her. Jinx's knee came up to knock Hikari in the stomach

 

"So she is, then?" Dracula laughed, pushing harder on the hunter's chest.

"Let... her... alone," Van Helsing choked. He reached up and grabbed Dracula's leg and twisted it, breaking the bone at the joint on the knee.

Hikari coughed from the impact. "That doesn't scare me," she hissed, tearing away from Jinx. She grabbed her arms and tore them around in a circle, dislocating both limbs at their shoulder joints.

 

Jinx grit her teeth through a scream as she poped her shoulders back in and felt the painfully heal. Her glamour, while she was healing, slowly changed to Dracula. "Do I?" she asked, in his voice.

 

Dracula grunted from the pain and backed up, clicking his knee back into place.

Van Helsing coughed tried to move, his chest still feeling like it was crushed. He felt his sides and winced; at least four ribs were broken on each side.

"Hurt, are we?" Dracula smiled over the hunter. "Why don't you call your friends, then? There are so many of them..."

Van Helsing shook his head and gasped for breath. "No..."

Hikari squeaked and jumped away from Jinx. "No," she lied.

 

Jinx advanced towards Hikari. "I don't?" she asked, affecting a disapproving expresson. "You shouldn't lie to me, dear." she whispered coldly, standing so that she towered over the newborn.

Carl pouted from heaven. 'Come one Van Helsing! kick his ass!" he put a hand quickly to his mouth and looked around the fluffy clouds at his fellow angels. "Excuse me... I mean kick his booty."

 

Dracula stepped on Van Helsing's right hand, crushing the fingers. "Don't move," he hissed. "Or your trigger fingers will just be a pile of blood and skin. Call your friends... I'd like to see them all see you like this."

"No!" Van Helsing snapped again.

Hikari fell to her knees and bit her lip. "You're... not him..." she whispered, trying to convince herself.

God looked over at Carl and said, "Shut the hell up, foo! I'll beat y'all with a stick until you bleed out your little, brown, Friar butt! That hunter boyfriend of yours will be fine even though he has serious sexuality problems! I will destroy you if you don't get back in your cage! Rawr!"

 

Carl grumbled something about wasting his time being a friar for that meany pants God when he could have been having fun as he sat back down.

Jinx looked down at her, "Dont' sound so unsure." she snapped dragging Hikari back up by her shoulder. "Who are you fighting?"she liked the fear in Hikari's eyes but she wanted a fight.

 

Van Helsing cried out as Dracula shattered his pinkie finger and his ring finger under his boot.

"Only one left till your trigger finger is dust," Dracula crooned. "Call them over to help you, you useless pile of ****!"

Hikari shut her eyes. "I won't hurt you, master!" she whispered strongly to herself. "I'd never hurt you, just tell me... tell me what to do!"

 

Jinx grit her teeth as Hikari whispered. "Stupid girl, I want you to think!" she yelled at her, "You think I'm him? He's over there!' she waved vagely in the direction of Van Helsing and Dracula, trying hard not to think about what teh real Dracula was doing. "Stop groveling and think! I'm fighting you." Her fist made hard contact with Hikari's jaw and her glamour transformed to a mirror image of the new born and her movements, creating a disconcerting image.

 

OOC: Ok watch this:

BIC: Hannah ran over and grabbed Mary's neck and snapped it off her head and threw it out the window.

Edward laughed and giggled and clapped his hands. "Nice one, baby! Now let's go help my gay lover!"

Hannah and Edward ran out to the town together, leaving Beatrice in the freaking stables.

Van Helsing shook his head, his hat falling off behind him. "No," he insisted, and grunted when the rest of his fingers cracked and broke in the ground.

"Hmm," Dracula murmured absentmindedly. "It seems one of my smexier brides has been decapitated... oh well."

Hikari shook her head viciously, making herself dizzy. She stared at the image of herself in front of her. "No!" she gasped. "I can't do this anymore!" And she turned and ran in the other direction.

OOC: teehee! XD

 

OOC: cute ;)

BIC:The glamour dissolved as Hikari ran away but Jinx ran after her, "You can't do this anymore?" she asked in a screechy voice, staying right on the woman's heals. "You don't have a choice!" she lashed out her hand and caught Hikari's. She winced, realizing what she was planning to do. "I can help you." Moron!

Mary sat next to Carl in heaven and pouted. "What the hell is this?" she asked the frair.

"Heaven?" Carl shrugged.

"How annoying! I was just getting into it to... so who are you?"

And they made friends and decided to commentate interesting sections of the story.

 

Van Helsing choked and coughed. "Jinx..." he gasped, barely audible. "Help..."

Dracula grinned. "Good... a little louder, now."

Edward skidded to a halt just a few blocks away from Van Helsing and Dracula. He caught Hannah's arm next to him and narrowed his eyes.

"What the hell is happening to him?" he whispered. "He can't be losing..."

Hikari blinked. "H... h-elp?" she stuttered.

God squeaked like a girl. "What the **** is Mary doing in heaven?" he gasped.

 

Jinx looked up in Dracula and Van Helsing's direction. "Yeah... help..." she muttered, distracted from the newborn. "Make your choice now, who are you going to help now?" she dropped Hikari's hand and left the her to help Van Helsing.

Carl looked up at God. "We're having tea and crumpets." he answered, pooring Mary a cup of earl gray.

Mary lifted the cup to toast God. "I'm betting on Dracula to win." she piped up, pointing down to the fight. "you're angel boy is gunna looooose!"

"Screw you." Carl argued lamely.

 

Van Helsing looked sideways down the street Jinx was coming from. God, I hope she didn't hear me...

Edward shook his head. "I have an idea!" he whispered at Hannah. "Dracula needs this anti-werewolf venom here in case he gets bit, right? But why would he be so worried about it... a werewolf bite, I mean?"

"Because that's something he's afraid of," Hannah guessed. "Werewolves... because..."

"Because werewolves can kill him!" Edward snapped suddenly. "I've got it!"

He turned and ran out toward Van Helsing and Dracula. "Get off him, you son of a b.itch," he growled at the vampire. "Your s.luty little servant couldn't beat us, and I bet you're afraid. Tell me why."

Hikari leaned against the wall and watched Jinx go, unsure if she should follow.

God chuckled. "I see..." He took a cup of tea and added 15,000,000 sugar cubes to it. "Well... I still can't see how the w.hore of a murdering vampire girl got past Saint Peter..."

 

Jinx stood as close to Dracula and Van helsing as she could without getting immediatly hit. She rocked on her heels while Edward ran towards them, debating just knocking Dracula off Van Halen or letting the vampire move himself.

Mary giggled and looked up innocently. "Oh you know, I just bat my eyes and said please." she answered.

Carl chocked on his tea.