UnderWater

its a poem by me, its short and it sucks i know but you dont have to read it im just bearing my thoughts down
here we go

It falls apart
Darkness surrounds
She took my heart
And left me to drown

I wont call for help
I wont make a sound
Red tears fill my eyes
As my body hits the ground

She lets out a gasp
Had it gone to far
Then comes a laugh
As she turns a far

I let it all out
My last hope for air
I drown underwater
When will she notice
No when will she care.

 

This is deep...and well written, although I think you meant 'too' instead of 'to,' and an apostrophe for "won't" and a comma after 'no' at the end...but otherwise, great job...

Is everything okay though...?

 

thanks i will add those things soon

meh not really but dont worry