Ultimate Organization: Ruin and Creation

OOC: Wow, Wing...That was great.

So what's going on other than that?

 

Give it a 9.9/10

 

OOC Hmm... a 6.17/10. Although I like the depth at some point it just felt like to much, the fact that I'm like this as well and don't take my own criticism does make this argument much less noticeable. But really, great job! I have been working on a little thing myself...:

BIC:

Vecked stood atop the mount, the man with the long brown hair, red heat goggle’s, black armor, and bare feet stood at the other side of the edge. “…What is this? Ziet… that’s all I know, who are you?” Vecked asked the man who chuckled bitterly at the question.

“My name is of no importance, the U.P.A. nuked there purple sector base after we left with my companions.” The man said.

“…what?… So there dead, any survivors?” Vecked asked.

“Many”

“…?”

“He saved them” The long haired man replied to Vecked’s confused expression.

“…Ziet, where are they?” Vecked asked once more.

“The future”

Vecked paused for a second “So… there is a future?” he asked, remembering him and Wing being hit back as Hojan’s Death Drum hit the Soul of there Universe. He was so cold… so scared. Nothing. On all levels… that’s scary.

“Yes… Well sort of. The Drill cut right threw the soul, and the Virus was released. But… they did not attempt to tame it. For they couldn’t. Project 160 Light of the Maxilo resonance series’ technology founded by the U.N.G., S.P.A., and S.A.C. of the U.P.A. and the life form inhaler that you used to save Nulixaje, your adoptive brother at one point, was stolen at the time. An-“

“wait… The Life Form Inhaler?…” Vecked asked confused.

“A creation that the powerful darkness inside you made, it was quit in genius in fact… a shame that genius is not your own.” The man said, Vecked looked to the side.

“Your darkness first had you kill Nulixaje, the justification and motive for you to do this was simple. He was a nobody and your enemy. Next your darkness forced you too feel grief about what you had done, so it set you too the U.P.A. too steal the ancient work’s in progress. You got them and then made mortification, thus resulting in the Life Form inhaler.” The man explained.

“Then you used Knight armor, and the property’s of your dead brother’s dusk’s too resurrect him from the dead in your grief, the real motive your darkness had for this was too be whole again. And then what happened?” The man asked.

Vecked thought for a second “The machine exploded and I past out”

“That you did, but what happened was actually the darkness relishing itself, and becoming one with Nulixaje. You named your newly resurrected brother Jaxel, a shortened anagram of his actually name. Nulixaje.” The man said “But he was controlled by darkness, the only way for the darkness to be free was for it to die. Although Nulixaje’s will power was strong, the Darkness won out. Fortunately Jaxel was killed before any harm came, Nulixaje’s soul was reunited with a body back at you temple lab. Unfortunately we feel that the Darkness has escaped its armored shell.”

Vecked was silent “I… Already… Knew that. Why don’t you make yourself half way useful and try explaining the current to me?!”

The Man was silent “Vecked… you are part of the Sun-Wind, destined to be one.”

“What the hell are you talking about?!” Vecked demanded.

“You are one by blood. You said the world was against you, that you where never meant to be. Well guess what? You where right, only one Sun-Wind god was meant to be, and the god could not be a human.” The man explained. “That god shared his blood with you, that god’s name was Knagy. God of Fire, the other Sun-Wind god was Ziet. God of Air…” The man said..

Vecked was silent.

“Now I will show you how to unleash the god within you!” The man yelled, as his skin suddenly went ablaze, his facial feature’s turned to flame. And the world behind him got light by fire. “Win or Die Vecked, Win or Die”

 

OOC: 7.06/10 nice job nulix....keep goin...no clif hangers here!!!! lol

 

OOC: Though I liked the description and background, the foreground and character conversations were slightly weak in my opinion. And, oh, you misspelled words and made grammatical errors. So 6.012/10.

 

OOC: 7/10.....yup.......

 

OOC: God, other then unwanted reviews for a post that's slightly longer then usually, why doesnt some one do something? I really don't want to create another character just to keep the plot going. Darknight! No offence, but why don't you try actually doing something with the brotherhood? (Sorry, I'm just in a horrible mood right now)

 

*points to my Sig* JOIN NOW!!!!

 

OOC: You're need a happy meal.

BIC: Novice moved forward. Everything was coming into place. One thing at a time.......piece by piece......and soon his fellow Brotherhood members will be there....very soon....

 

OOC: Helloooooo? Yesh, I have returned! >3

Didja miss meh...?

 

OOC: YES STAR YOU MISSEd EVERYTHING!

 

OOC: It is teh Star_Seeker! Hide teh cookies!!!

BIC: Xane wandered around looking for a taco restaurant.....

 

OOC:Welcome back Star. Now lets get this Desert Future thing going lol




BIC: Gale begin to stir...when he woke up and cleared his eyes...he was confused as to what he saw....

"how did we..." He looked and Saw Vexneah asleep next to him. he gently shook her

"Wake up Vexneah...."

Then he noticed Xane walking off...

"HEY wait!!!" he shouted after him

 

OOC: YAY!!!! Were back in action!!!!

 

"Taco Bell....Taco Bell...." Xane muttered. "Where in this desert can I find a Taco Bell?"

 

Ryann and Jet looked around in despair "NNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!i!" He screamed in despair, as The guy who was harassing Xegreny ran up to Xane.


The Guy's Story.

The Guy ran up to Xane, his clothing flapped in the wind, as the harsh desert
rain flew down on him "EAT FART! MAH COOKIE!" He yelled in Xane's face...


OOC: Review...

 

OOC: 8.12345/10

BIC: Xane casually threw the guy over in Gale's direction and ran up a hill. He then saw a city on the horizon.......

OOC: Where is Nulix/Nulixjae?

 

OOC: Give. Me. The. Cookies. NOW!!!

Yes, let's.

BIC: Vexneah moaned lazily and woke up. She immediatly noticed that they were no longer at the UPA base...but how had they gotten here...?

She looked at Gale running after Xane, "Hey, wait!" she shouted as she jumped up and ran after him.

 

Geryl went over to teh Other UO members. What happened?

 

Gale turned around to wait for Vexneah to cach up, and noticed Geryl.


"To be honest i have no clue how we got here...have you seen my brother?" He asked Geryl.