Prologue The year is 2776. About 690 years ago, scientists tried to fix the apparent threat of global warming by adjusting Earth’s magnetic fields. In the process of adjustment, something went horribly wrong, and Earth’s axis completely flipped, putting the North and South poles on the equator, and parts of the former equator became the new poles. In addition, the magnetic changes destroyed all computers, causing major loss of life due to mechanical failure, and the rapid climate shift destroyed most plant life, and as a result, most wildlife and almost all humans. This is known as the Catastrophe. Gradually magnetic waves wore off, and humans rebuilt their civilization and technology, and as Antarctica thawed, very small amounts of elemental metal were found, Elemental metal is metal that is somehow power-absorbent at liquid stage when they are among their elements, (such as fire and ice), so they can simulate their element’s power. The small amounts of elemental metal were mostly used to build swords because the elemental swords were more powerful than guns. The swords were passed down through generations, and many are lost. Now, in 2776, after magnetic waves have worn out, the technology is better than before the Catastrophe. In the major city of Discovery, Antarctica a weapons company-turned army known called Saraxos that has taken over most of the world has spread to Discovery, and a force to combat it, the Defending Force has sprung up to take down the invading army. The leader of the Saraxos and the leaders of the Defending Force both have the most powerful weapons in the world-two of the last remaining element swords. (c) Digital Games All rights reserved. http://www.costeira.com/dg
I'd like to point out that even for sci-fi this is a totally implausible scenario. In ten or twenty years it'll still be impossible to alter the earth's magnetic fields and I really have no idea how that is supposed to be a solution to global warming or a cause of some kind of technological failure on a pandemic scale. This story needs a better or different exposition to it's plot. Where did the magnetic waves come from? You never mentioned them before and should have if you intended on referencing them, this ties into your need of a more thorough explanation in your first section. Do not use parentheses in narration, it looks bad and disrupts the flow of the story. You also tend to write this more like a history essay than a story, use strong language and try to keep it from sounding boring. You say things like, "The small amounts of elemental metal were mostly used to build swords because the elemental swords were more powerful than guns." That is awful, and boring. You're trying to engage and entertain your reader, not inform them of facts. Use more description, a more diverse structure, more forcible language, etc.. Another problem is that you rush through everything without detailed or completed explanation of it and move on as if anyone still can follow with any degree of interest. Again, this paragraph does not give not enough information and has boring structure and very poor diction. Writing formally about a factual subject matter is not the same as writing a story. Read more novels to get an idea of how this is done, and make sure it's not young adult crap like Twilight. Classics are classics for a reason and can be a great help if you take the trouble to look. Overall this prologue needs to be completely rethought so that it will explain and introduce the story suitably. There are more than just the issues I pointed out, so try to understand what you're doing wrong here before you go rewriting.
yes, sorry, I also forgot to mention it's a work in progress and I will update it when I'm done I want it to be a video game anyway
