Girfriends. Mum. She is to over protective... She thinks Im like every other guy... just out for a ****... But im not... I love my girlfriend so much... But her mum really doesnt want to let go or accept the fact that we are together even though we have been together for just over a year now... She wont let us just sit around and talk for longer than an hour if im visiting... Basically put, and explained, she is to over protective... I just dont know how to deal with her and she is driving me insane... One day im gonna end up raging at her... What should i do?
I would say that maybe you need to do some things with the family itself to show you care about the girlfriend's life and earn the mother's trust. Try casually talking to the mother about some things and if you hear that they might need some help or something, offer to assist them. As annoying in one sense it may be, if you and your girlfriend develop a serious relationship, you are going to want to be in good with the family anyway. A lot of guys forget or don't want to deal with a girl's family because they'd rather spend time with the girl only and well, because of the reputation guys get, we know automatically the parents aren't going to right away want us around. So if you are serious about the gf, try being more social with the mom and she might warm up to you more and think of you as more than just the bf that wants to sleep with her daughter. She has a right to worry that her daughter may be taken advantage of, though it may very well be clearly unfounded. You know as well as anyone that some guys out there are just trash. Moms, if they give a care at all about their sons and/or daughters, are going to keep an eye on the person they date because they don't want their children hurt. The only real way to deal with it is to show you aren't that type and you care about the family as well as the girl. I wish you luck with this as it usually will tend to work unless the mom is really paranoid.
repliku's right. try to earn their trust... and please, no raging. that'll make stuff worse. of course, i wouldn't know... i'd never have a girlfriend(for i AM a girl)... but amybe it might help, since i might relte to her. maybe she had a bad relationship past, and her family doesn't want a repeat? just talk things out with her. if you both really love each other(you and the girl), it'll work out. the mom just wants her daughter to be happy, like every other parent. talk with her too. but i dunno. do what feels right. ^_^
The thing is... Im her first boyfriend so that may be it, but we have been going out for a while and it's been bugging me for ages now...
ah, i see. she cares about you, i'm assuming(otherwise there'd be no point in being with each other). so just talk it. try and understand each other. since it's her first boyfriend, i can understand why the mother would be paranoid. 'can never be too careful' she is probably thinking. so bottom line: love, care, talk and no raging.
I can understand how it can bug a person. Nearly every guy goes through this and well, quite a few girls do too because moms (and dads too) who care for their daughters' safeties are going to be defensive and watch a guy like a hawk. We come with a reputation that personally may not be deserved but as I said, I'm sure you know why the reputation exists. Don't get mad at it if you can help it. Use that energy from rage to instead do something positive and try to get to know her mom more and just try to be a member of the family to some degree. Your gf may appreciate it more too because it shows you are willing to be a team player and though her mom may frustrate her too over this, in the end the mom is that way simply because she loves her daughter. Hang in there, man. Some things that are good in life are worth fighting for. You just have to remember how to fight these sorts of things and I hope it will get easier for you. Don't make the mom an enemy if you can help it. You might find out, once she can get over these things, that she's a decent woman and may if you can befriend her, also be protective of you. It's just her mom's nature and you can either get mad and give up or you can try to struggle through it and reach out and hope for the best.
Thanks guys... Im gonna try having a chat with her or something... Maybe it will help... I dunno... For the sake of my relationship with my girlfriend(who i adore so much) I hope it does...
Repliku's good when it comes to advice. go with his suggestions. And as for you Nate_river, we all wish you luck with your love and hope things work out. We believe in you! and just keep on keeping on! :)
