Takes Place: Mostly Twilight Town,Destiny Islands,and the other worlds Time:Days Main Characters:Xion & Roxas ^-^ Summary: IT'S ROKUSHI BABY!<3 Two Over Ice Cream Xion sat down on the edge of the Clock Tower,the Twilight sun shining its last rays on her. A cool,summer breeze blew her short,black hair up. The girl pushed it back behind her ears. She glanced down at the Clock Tower Entrance,hoping for a glimpse of Roxas and Axel,but no luck. She sighed softly and hung her head. "Where in the world arethey?" she asked out loud. She stood up quickly. All of a sudden she felt herself tip. Her foot had slipped over the edge of the Tower and this made Xion to fall back. "Ahh!" she cried in surprise,quickly grabbing the edge. She stared up at her hand,trying to hold on. She nervously glanced down. What would happen if I fell....But she quickly shook her head free of the scary thought. "Don't think about it,Xion,don't think about it...." she wished someone were here to save her,anyone. She tried to swing her other arm up to the edge,but almost let go of the edge with her other hand. She cried out in fear,shutting her eyes. The she heard distant footsteps way below her. SHe glanced down at the blue-eyed,blond haired boy. His lips formed a large O as he called up to her. "Xiiion!" he cried. He took a step toward the entrance. Xion gasped and smiled faintly. Her grip was loosening. "Roxas! Help me!" she cried out,letting her pinky break away from the edge. She glanced up at her weak hand nervously. Roxas had to save her. He had to. Roxas walked until he was right where Xion was about to fall. He held his arms out. "Let go,Xion! I'll catch you!" Roxas yelled,looking up at her. Xion shook her head. "Xion...Please! Trust me!" Roxas said,watching another finger let go. Xion shut her eyes tightly. She glanced down,then back at her hand,then back down. "I hope you catch me," she whispered,shutting her eyes-and let go. She could feel the wind rushing past her. Xion's eyes were shut tightly,she bit her bottom lip. Please,please... She held her hands to her chest. Soon,she felt Roxas' arms catch her and then he fell over. Xion's eyes were still shut tightly,her hands shaking. Roxas sat up. "Ow...Xion,are you..all right?" he asked,gently lifting her up while holding her back. She didn't respond. He laughed when he saw her tightly shut eyes. "You can open them now. You're okay," Roxas smiled,lifting one of Xion's eyelids. A blue eye stared back at him. Xion opened her other eye very slowly and looked up at Roxas. He smiled warmly,his blue eyes slightly crinkling at the corners. Xion felt her face grow hot. What's happeneing?! Why do I feel this way...?No,it wasn't possible. Nobodies can't feel. No,it was just her mind playing stupid tricks on her. But she shook her head. Roxas cocked his head. "Are you okay? Dizzy?" he inquired,helping the girl sit up. Xion nodded quickly.Yeah,that's all I am,she thought,Dizzy. She laughed softly. Roxas shook his head. "Did you...hit your head or something?" "Hee,hee...Probably. Then that must meen you didn't catch me." "I did! Or else...You wouldn't be sitting here,talking to me." "I guess you're right." Xion smiled and tried to stand up,but quickly slumped back down. Roxas grabbed her hand and pulled her back up. Xion's face grew hotter. He wrapped an arm around her waist and shoulder. He summoned a Dark Portal and stepped through it,helping Xion home. So...uh..do you guys like it? It's my first fanfic...I'm a complete NEWB. END OF PART ONE
Excellent It was pretty good . . . no not really it was great *i myself am a namine+roxas fan but this is good to*, I didn't really look for them but, I didn't notice any grammar or spelling errors. I never can remember xions name for some reason but I know the face, you really are great at this hope you continue with it. There it is, I enjoyed it :) also, quick tip *i learned the hard way* make sure to read all of the rules, not just some.
Thank you ^-^ Glad you liked it. I might do a Rokunami story.... I might. I read the rules ^^ Yay,part two!^^ Two over ice cream/Part two Roxas tossed and turned in his bed. He couldn't sleep,he kept thinking about Xion. Why? Why am I thinking about her? Roxas turned to face the wall. Xion's frightened face appeared in his mind. Roxas felt his face grow hot. He buried his face in his pillow and tried to think of only his mission,but that was impossible. Xionwas on his mission with him! "There's no way...," Roxas muttered to himself,"That I can forget her. Was it because of today?" Ever since Xion's fall,Roxas just couldn't stop thinking about the girl. He always blushed when he thought of her. Maybe,if he avoided her for a couple days,he would get over this stupid feeling (which Nobodies aren't even supposedto have!) and then he could hang around Xion without turning red. "Yeah...That sounds good...." the boy whispered before drifting to sleep. ~~~~~ The next morning,Roxas carried on with his avoid-Xion plan. When he saw her in the Grey Room, he quickly pulled his hood on and sat down in a chair at the far right of the room,avoiding Xion's eyes. Roxas sat there, un-noticed by Xion. Then Axel saw him. Roxas gasped and pulled his hood tighter over his face. Aw,crap! Axel's going to ruin it! Roxas turned his head away and looked down at his feet. He heard Axel's footsteps come closer to him. Roxas held his breath. "Roxas? Is that you under that hood?" Axel smiled, bending down on one knee, peeked under Roxas' hood. Roxas slapped Axel's hand away. "Don't-take-it-off!" he rasped between clenched teeth. Axel cocked his head,still smiling. "Why?" Axel inquired. "Because...I'm trying to avoid Xion." "Huh? And why is that, may I ask?" "Well..." Roxas explained yesterday's event and Axel listened. After Roxas finished, Axel laughed. "W-what?! What's so funny about that?!" Roxas demanded,jumping to his feet. "I think you're lovestruck," Axel said,smiling. Roxas blushed and tightened his hood. Saix came over to the two men. "You two,go to your missions. Axel, you're with Demyx, Roxas, your with Xion. Go," he ordered. He turned and left. Axel nudged Roxas in the stomach. Roxas playfully shoved him and made his way toward Xion. Her eyes widened when she saw him. "Roxas! You were here the whole time!" she exclaimed. Roxas took his hood off. He had a wry smile. "Y-yeah..." Damn! I can't possibly avoid her now! "Well? Let's go!" Xion said, grabbing Roxas' hand and disappearing in a flash of black. ~~~ End.
Success Loved it, Two over ice cream *drum roll* *thumbs up* success. Everything still looks good, the grammar and spelling still didn't see anything that pops out. Hope to see more. There it is, definitely enjoyed it :) . . . <first time I have ever changed my end of reading signature that is how much I liked this story.
You've got a great fanfic here. RoxasxXion is just too popular now. Anyway I love it. Keep up the good work.
This is certainly very sweet. (: As Night said before me, mind your grammar. You need to leave a space after using punctuation such as the comma, or your sentences will look messy. I also noticed a few unnecessary capital letters, such as "Entrance" in part one. The final line of part two should be "disappearing", not "disappeared". Overall your spelling is excellent, and I really like the title of the story. And I wouldn't call you a newb. xD
Thank you! (= I fixed it up. There's spaces between the commas and I fixed some of the words. It looks better. Thanks for pointing out the mistakes. ^-^ Yeah,Rokushi definitely popular... Two over ice cream/part three "Roxas... I don't like this place... It makes me uneasy.... " Xion said, stepping back toward the closing portal. Roxas said nothing. Their mission today was to explore a new world, the dark and spooky Halloween Town. The sky above the two teens was black and dark clouds moved slowly. They stood on a cobblestone road and a wall surrounded them on both sides. Lanterns were lit beside the two, casting off an erie light. Xion's right, this place does make me uneasy... Roxas glanced over at the girl. She was shaking slightly and her blue eyes were wide. Roxas looked away as his face began to feel warm. She's so cute... Wait, what am I THINKING? Roxas shook his head. Xion looked at him. "What's wrong?" she asked. Roxas shook his head again. "Er,nothing. Let's just get this mission over with," he said. He smiled down at the girl and started to walk. Xion watched him go,then followed. ~~~~~~~ Xion kept glancing at her surroundings. When she and Roxas passed through a large, black gate, she flinched. The gate was pointy and it just spooked her. I want to get out of here... Xion sighed softly and followed Roxas into the main plaza. A weirdly, shaped fountain was in the middle of the dark plaza. Green water poured out from a hole. Wait...That hole looks like a mouth... Xion thought. She came toward the fountain and stopped when she was right in front of it. She peered down at her green reflection. She stared up at the hole. The mouth ,or hole, was attached to a long pipe that looked like a neck. The green water pored out. Xion stared at her reflection some more. "Xion! C'mon!" Roxas called out to her. Xion looked away and ran over to the boy. They continued to walk around the plaza, examining places of interest. They came to a large house that was seperated from the plaza. It was blocked off by a gate. Roxas tried to open it, but it wouldn't budge. Xion summoned her keyblade. "Maybe... This will work," she said, swinging her key against the gate. It broke open and Xion smiled with satisfaction. Roxas laughed. "You know you could have just put it in the keyhole...." he said, going in front of her. Xion held up the key. "Don't you see how big this key is? It's not possible," Xion smiled. She saw Roxas turn away. "L-let's go," he walked up the steep stairs leading up to the doorway. Xion stumbled and fell on her knee. "Ow!" she cried out, clutching her knee. Roxas turned swiftly,almost falling. He caught himself and ran down to Xion. He knelt beside her. Xion was rocking back and forth, clutching her knee. She bit her lip to ignore the pain. "Xion! A-are you okay?" Roxas asked,leaning over her. Of course she isn't you idiot! She's in PAIN! Roxas covered her knee with his hand and pressed down firmly. "Ow! Roxas! Don't do that! It hurts!" Xion cried. She tried to push Roxas' hand away with her free hand, but he wouldn't let go. Xion's face was beet red. She looked at Roxas and her face felt hot. God... It hurts so much! She bit her lip when Roxas pressed down even harder. She leaned forward and covered Roxas' hand with her other one. Roxas was taken aback. She was so close to him... Her short black hair hung in his face and he could hear her breathing. She looked up at him through her hair and he removed his hand. He scrambled up a step and Xion looked up him. She saw his that his face was red, like hers. She saw something in his eyes and she stared at him. For a second, she thought she heard his thoughts. But the moment passed. Roxas stared back. His eyes widened in fear at what she was thinking. What..? Why is she staring at me like that?! He stood up and turned away from Xion's stare. He raced down the steps and ignored Xion's calls. ~~~ END.
Okay so in this section I noticed something that stood out to me like a neon gas station sign in Texas at night. I only know this though because I have read it quite a few times before, the word back in "Roxas was taken back" should be aback. The term aback means something like off guard or shocked. Other than that I have noticed something that bugs me but might just be your style. You sometimes put details in paragraphs that should be in a seperate paragraph such as if you put something that Xion said and then something Roxas does in the same paragraph it should only be from Xions perspective, like if you have him turn away *which you did and did it right* saying "and Xion watched him turn away." would be the better thing rather than "Roxas turned away." because it confuses people. Other than that I would have to give this a thumbs up. The romance, *even though they don't show it* is spectacularly desplayed. Keep up the good work. There it is, I definitely enjoyed it :)
I personally didn't see anything wrong with your sentence structure, except perhaps the last paragraph could have been broken down into more bitesize chunks. The ending through my off a bit, specially with Roxas referring to Xion as "that girl" which sounds extremely cold and not something you'd call a crush. xD The last paragraph was a little confusing in general, perhaps it could be revised with a little less going on. I was quite impressed with your description in the opening paragraphs though, lovely. [:
I have edited it! I'm sorry for all the mistakes. Like I said,I'm a newb at writing -even though I love it ;P
i loved it. great please continue a bit farther. please??!! ^.^ you know what couple i really miss? SoraxRoxas. i know it sounds eeck. but its realllly cuute when u think about it. ^.^
I will! ^^ There are some fanfixs about Sora x Roxas. Would you like it if I made a fanfic about it? Two over Ice Cream/Part four Roxas continued to run. He past the gate that he and Xion had passed when they arrived and stopped at the dark corridor, which swirled around on the cobblestone ground. He was panting like a dog, a trickle of sweat coming down the side of his face. He staggered backward and fell on his bottom. "Ow...." Roxas muttered, bringing his knees up to his chest. He felt tired - and angry. Wait, angry? Isn't that a feeling?, Roxas thought. "It is a feeling. So why am I feeling it? I'm not supposed to! Geez, ever since that damn day, I've been feeling emotions! Which isn't possible," Roxas gripped both sides of his head," What is happening to me?! Arrrgh!" Roxas was screaming now. He buried his face in his hands and screamed at the top of his lungs. ---- "Ouch..." Xion winced when she bumped her ankle into - yet another- lampost. She kicked the lampost with her good foot and limped away, agitated. Despite Roxas running away, she continued their mission, well, hermission. She was angry at Roxas. He had left her! Left her to limp down the stairs and continue the mission! "If heartless come and attack me... ooh, Roxas you're gonna get it!" she yelled to the empty sky. She continued to drag her foot and examine things that looked interesting. After ten minutes of limping, Xion finished exploring the square. She spotted a gate hidden by a large, stone wall. She limped up the stairs and opened the gate. She gasped. She was standing at the top of the stairs, looking at a small graveyard. Tombstones lined the walls and a coffin lay at the end of the lines. Xion's mouth dropped. "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" she screamed in terror. She turned to leave, but all of a sudden, felt weak. Her eyes drooped and her small body limped. She couldn't speak and she saw that she was being lifted. What's...happening...? Xion felt even weaker. Her eyes almost closed. That something snapped into focus. A blur of color. Yellow, gray, black. She could see someone swinging something. The blur came closer and swung whatever it was holding and Xion fell to the ground. "Ow...That...hurts..." Xion's eyelids slowly rose and she started to see. The dark sky hung above her. She could hear smashing and saw small, pink things fly into the open air. What are those? They're... pink.Xion slowly sat up, using her arms to hold her up. She saw a boy. He was holding a huge key, wore a black coat and had spiky,blond hair. He swung at the creatures that circled around him. They disappered and pink... hearts appeared. Xion' mouth dropped. The boy swung his key at the last creature and once more, a heart appeared. The boy turned to her. "Xion!" the boy cried. He ran toward her. Xion cocked her head. Xion? Who's that? Is that me? The boy knelt beside her and put an arm around her shoulders. He held her up. Xion stared up at him. A wide smile formed on his face. "Xion... You're okay...." the boy said. Xion shook her head. "Xion? That's my name?" Xion asked. The boy laughed. "Of course it it is, silly!" Xion shook her head. "I... didn't know that." the boy stopped laughing. "What? What do you mean?" "I mean that... I didn't know that I was named 'Xion'. What's your name?" the girl asked. The boy gasped. Xion wiggled out of his grasp and slowly stood up. -- "Are you... joking? " Roxas asked, bewildered by Xion's question. She must be joking. This all a joke.Xion shook her head. "I really don't know your name. Not joking," the girl said. Roxas looked into her eyes. He couldn't see any laughter in there. She wasn't joking. She really didn't know his name. What had happened? ~~~~~ END.
Nice twist *roxas* NOOOOOOOOO!!!!! . . . anyway, the grammar and spelling looked good. The story just keeps getting more interesting, keep up the good work. There it is, loved it :D
Nice chapter. I want to guess that she got banged in the head and has amnesia, but something tells me it's more complicated than that. xD I really enjoy reading your work, your writing style is easy on the eyes (and brain). I've certainly been converted to Rokushi :B
Two over ice cream/ part five Roxas stared at Xion in disbelief. W-what?! What is she saying?! Roxas took a step toward Xion, in responce, she backed a step back. She bit her bottom lip. "It's me... Roxas. You know me," Roxas laughed nervously. She's just playing a game... just a game... "Rox...as? That's your name?" she asked. Roxas nodded. "Okay, Roxas. Nice to meet you!" Xion smiled, her eyes closing. Roxas's mouth dropped. WHAT? "Wha-- B-- Xion... WHAT ARE YOU SAYING?!" Roxas exploded. Xion backed away in surprise, her blue eyes wide with fear. Roxas relized that his outburst had frightened her. He tried to apologize. "Xi-Xion... I'm sorry... Wait!" Roxas tried to grab Xion's hand, but she had disappeared into a black portal. "Xion..." Roxas let his hand drop in midair. ~~~ Xion stumbled out of the black portal. She fell onto soft sand. "Wha...? Where am I?" Xion slowly stood up. She gasped in pain when a sudden pain shot up in her ankle. She fell down once again. "Ow!" Xion cried out in pain. She gripped her ankle, her eyes closed tightly. After a minute, the pain drifted away. Xion slowly stood up, using her good foot. She looked around for something to lean on. She spotted a palm tree and slumped against it. She closed her eyes for a second and then opened them again. She studied her surrondings. She sat on, cream colored sand. She picked up a handful and let it slide through her glove fingers. A small mound was all that was left on her hand. She dumped it back into the sand. In front of her, all she could see, past the sand, was an endless blue ocean. Xion stood up and limped toward it, she stopped at the edge, letting the water splash her shoes. Xion stared out at the ocean, letting her mind wander. Roxas... That what his name was. I feel like... I know him. But... I can't remember him. Roxas.... Xion bent down and picked up a blue shell. She turned it around slowly in her hand, looking at the colors. Dark blue covered most of it, yellow at the bottom. Xion smiled and pocketed the shell. All of a sudden, a key appeared in Xion's hand and she whirled around, clashing with a dark blur. The person who held the dark blur had on the same coat as Xion, the black organization coat. He/she had the hood on, covering he/she's face. Xion glared at he/she. "Who are you?!" she demanded, gripping the large key tightly. The hooded person laughed. "You're pretty good, despite forgetting everything," the hooded person said, sounding like a man. "Wha--?" before Xion could finish, he ran full speed at her and swung his weapon at her head. Xion ducked and swung her key at him, missing. The man jumped in the air and landed behind her, hitting her bad ankle with the side of his hand. "Ah!" Xion fell down, groaning in pain. The key fell beside her hand. She raised her head, but the man pushed it back down. "Uh-uh, uh-uh! Can't raise your head up just yet," he wagged his finger in her face. Xion uttered a low growl. "W-who are you?" she asked,glaring up at him. The man was silent. Then, he removed his hood. Xion's mouth dropped slightly as she stared up at the man, who actually wasn't a "man", but a teenager like her. He had silver hair that fell to his shoulders and a black blindfold covered his eyes. He had a pointed face and his thin lips were turned up in a half-smile. "My name is of no importance,"he said, taking his hand away. He held out his hand and Xion stared up at it. "Well? Take it." the teen said. Xion hesitantly set her hand in his and he pulled her up. He picked up her key. "Do you know what this is, Xion?" he held the silver key up, the golden handle and silver keychain shone brightly in the sunlight. Xion watched him. "Pfft, this keyblade... it's a sham," as he spoke, he threw the keyblade on the sand. Keyblade? That's what it's called? "My keyblade is not a sham! What gives you the right to say that?" Xion demanded angrily. How dare he! Xion picked up her key and charged. The boy waited for her to come close, then dodged her swing, and whacked her hard in her waist, knocking the girl to the ground. "Ahh...." Xion moaned in defeat. The boy bent down and whispered some words in her ear. Before Xion could say anything, everything went black.
Yet another terribl . . . y excellent display of your prowess. *did I even say that right* Your grammar was good, mostly, a few mistakes but everyone has them. As for spelling, nothing jumped out at me so you get a big thumbs up from your fan and me too :D just kidding. As for the story, nice twist. Definitely didn't see that coming oh and going to throw this one out there but, is this going to be one of those 'turn his one true love against him so he has no choice but to give up' things. 'his one true love' being xion, 'him' being roxas, and the one doing the 'turn'ing being Riku. Anyway, just thought I would see if I could guess it right. There it is, wow where did Riku come from ???
Hehe,thank you. ^^ *yes,you did* I don't know if it will be like that. :/ I haven't thought much about it. Now you gave me an idea! Thanks! Riku was spy-ing... Two over ice cream / part six Roxas stared at Xion's empty spot. He said nothing for several minutes and his head drooped. "Xion... I'm sorry... I'm...." Roxas bit his bottom lip. He needed to apologize to her - but he also had to find out what was wrong with her. But not now. Saix was probably wondering where he and Xion were. He sadly opened a dark portal and disappeared inside it. He appeared back in the Castle. Before Roxas was three steps in, Saix came up to him. An angry look was on his face. Shoot... I'm in big trouble. Roxas avoided Saix's angry yellow eyes and his mean scowl. "Roxas," Saix said in a cold voice," Where is Xion?" "I-I don't know, Saix... She ran off," Roxas said, dropping his head. "What do you mean, 'she ran off'?" "I mean that she ran off! There's no other explanition, Saix!" "Hmph. She was your responcibility, Roxas." "I know that! You think I don't?" Roxas said, his voice growing angry. I hate when he does this... "Oi! What's goin' on here? Roxas, are you actually yelling at Saix ? Heh, I'm amazed." Roxas reconigzed the voice and turned around. Axel came up to the two and smiled. "Axel... What do you want?" Saix asked. "I wanna know what's goin' on, that's what I want," Axel grinned and turned to Roxas," What's up, Roxas?" "I'll tell you later," he said bitterly, then turned and stalked off. Axel watched the blonde go and then turned back to Saix. "Where's Xion?" He asked, turning serious. Saix shook his head and scoffed. "I couldn't say. Roxas says she ran off." "Say what?! We gotta find her!" Axel said, preparing to open a dark portal. Saix shook his head. "No. Tomorrow, you and Roxas. You're not allowed back on the field." "Bu-" "No buts, Axel. Go to your room." Axel laughed. "What's so funny?" Saix asked, raising an eyebrow. " 'Go to your room'," Axel laughed again," That sounds like something he would say...." "Who?" Axel thought about it for a minute, then smiled and shook his head. "Heh, no one you need to know about." Axel said and walked off to Roxas' room.
Okay so, in the lines marked with red there is a mistake . . . you didn't really need to seperate these seeing as it was Axel who said both. Other than that I couldn't see any thing wrong. Keep up the good work. There it is, simply fantawsotic :D Spoiler fantastic, awsome: *fan-ta-saw-tick* The expression of ones liking of something, being more than just fantastic or awsome. 1. The vacation to the bahamas was fantawsotic.
Two over ice cream/ part six "Rooooooxas," Axel banged on Roxas' locked door. No answer. "C'mon, open up!" Axel banged again. Still, no answer. "If you don't answer this door right now, I will burn it!" He heard footsteps on he other side, and the lock turning. Roxas opened the door. "Come in, you idiot," he muttered, glaring at Axel. Axel grinned and shut the door behind him. Roxas sat down at his desk. Axel jumped on to the bed. "So! What happened to Xion?" "I thought I said that already. Se ran away." "Why? She must've had a reason. You don't just run away," Axel explained. Roxas sighed and bit his gloved hand. He thought about wha Axel had said. She ran away because I scared her. It was my fault, all my fault. "She ran away because of me. I scared her," Roxas admitted. Axel looked at him. "How? What did you do, exactly?" "Well...." Roxas told Axel the story: How Xion had suddenly forgotten her name, how she had forgotten his name, and how he had yelled at her. Axel listened. When the boy finished, Axel stood up. "I think you have a simple case of amnesia, Roxas." "W-what!?" "Yeah! Y'see, those ghost heartless have the ability to sometimes steal memories. You can't really get them back. You'll never remember the memories that were stolen. Well, at least I don't think that you can get them back...." Axel explained. Roxas' jaw dropped and his eyes widened. "WHAT?! S-so she might never be able to remember any of us?! And you're not worried about it!?" Roxas screamed, jumping up. Axel held his hands up. "Roxas! Calm down! I am worried about her, but I'm taking it better than you," he said, opening a dark portal. "Where we going?" Roxas asked. Axel shook his head. "We're going to go ind Xion."
