Issues with my girlfriend (M)...So last night I spent the evening at an "anime night" a local group organizes gatherings of anime fans and various fun happens. This is fine. What is not fine is that a friend kissed me whilst there (it was just a peck, not making out). Being the loyal and honest I told M about this...We've been arguing all day and we never argue...I told her that I did not initiate the kiss...However the person that kissed me (C) claimed I kissed her later in the evening...Then C insisted that no kissing happened...Then C told us that we BOTH initiated the kiss...In between she was also saying she doesn't remember because she was very tired...Now C has been causing us a lot of problems lately...And unfortunately M believes C...All day I've felt like a broken record...Telling her I didn't start the kiss...Apparently just because C said I did at first, this is proof. Now I insist I didn't (I will swear to you now...I did not start that kiss). M disagrees...And I burst into tears...I have cried so much today...I just want this to end...How can I get M to see sense? Please, any ideas are welcome...I need to show her the truth...I'm frightened that our 6 month relationship may be on the line...And I really truly love her. Thank you so much for any help <3 EDIT: My main concern is tht if she cant trust me with this...Then...How can she trust me with anything? It'll only get worse and if our relationship lasts...She'll be in constant misery because she won't know how to let me go out...every time I talk to someone she'll be questioning my loyalty...I am so worried about this...
Well, for her to be upset means she is jealous and that is only brought about through fear of losing someone you care about. It's sad that she doesn't trust you but it's probably because she is so fearful or she expected something like this to happen (like maybe she feels insecure about herself or something). I am no expert but what you should do is do something amazing for her- buy her something that is personal and means a lot to her, give her a show of affection that she will recognise and won't misinterpret. I don't mean just buying her something but sacrificing something to show how much you care for her, I think she just needs to know that you do still really care for her and whatever the kiss was it is irrelevant because it is M who you truly care about. I want to say, it's good of you to tell her and be honest, and I hope you two sort this out.
Maybe...She had a run in with a boyfriend last summer...he cheated on her...in fact 3 of her boyfriends have cheated on her in the past...Nice idea but I won't see her until thursday...And if the situation doesn't improve...I'm scared thursday will be too late :'( Thanks anyway, I really appreciate it
Don't give up hope yet, there is still time. You can spend the time deciding what to do and perfect your plan. Just anything that will make her feel secure and worth something as you obviously care about her a great deal and if he knew then things would be better between you.
Honesty is key in these kinds of situations. I think she has the fear that you might cheat on her because it appearently has been a re-occuring thing in her life with past boyfriends. It might be a good idea to take her and do something she has been really wanting to do or that she really enjoys, perhaps get her mind off of it? I wish the best for both of you.
Stop talking to this C right now, just drop all talk with her till this **** has stopped hitting the fan. Honesty, this is the only thing you need to be saying now. Be honest and truthful. Try not to say different things about this situation, that could cause more fighting. Tell her your feelings, try to not mention that you will be better than her past exes, this will just bring up more worry in her, thinking that "Oh crap, I completely forgot about my exes and what they did to me." We don't want this. What my above colleagues have said is true, your gf is probably insecure about herself about something, and is really afraid of losing you. What we want to do here is to reassure her that she is not going to lose you.
Thanks everybody...You all gave good advice...Sorry for disappearing...It's been edgy...For days M was trying to break up with me without hearing what I had to say, so Ive been having restless nights up all night crying, all that malarky...Then I managed to calm down...And remembered that a kiss did happen...I felt so awful for it...I told M immediately...Talked it through...And she broke up with me...To be honest right now I'm not sure what's happening...She came over today to figure it out...and before she left we ended up kissing...Then on facebook she told me that nothing was the way it is and nothing was normal...But I think we can get through this. Thank you everybody fr your input I love you all forever for helping <3
Sometimes relationships hit bumps in the road, where one door closes, another opens. Maybe she wasnt the one for you, I have no doubt that you guys will work things out. However, it might be for the best (While thats probably not what you want to hear, I am just thinking out loud)
