Ok so I wanted to try writing this and keep my pattern going with the six words. And I'm trying to get out of my writer's block and this is a partial result. CnC would be appriciated. Torn You're sitting there in self-pity. Sinking deeper and deeper into despair. The tears roll down your cheek; You still think about it constantly. Messing with your heart and mind, He didn't know you were fragile. He doesn't even care about you. But you're still in that fantasy that he didn't do anything wrong. Still believing that theres some hope that he will love you somehow. Hopeful thoughts playing with your mind, Distorting your reality to whats real One decision you made without thinking; Foolishly acting on your heart's whim. Ridiculous in everyone's mind except yours. You're blinded by the harsh truth You'll sit there forever in hurt. Oh you poor, silly littly girl Who'll be at fault to blame? It'll be yours and yours only.
The drama fits perfectly, and it never goes overboard. The flow is precise, never gets rigid. And not to mention, it's not too hard to image the poem in a situational predictiment. Which I find great about a poem. I have no problems with it, you did a great job ! And yes, writers block sucks. :C
N'Aww why thank you. I just recently read a story and I got a little inspiration from it. I wasn't sure how I felt about it.
That's beautifully written. You have writer's block? It doesn't seem like it.. It has lovely flow and the words you used keeps the tone the same throughout. I think it's easy for people to relate to as well... Well done :3
Really? Thanks. I thought the flow was way off and it was going randomly :/ Still appriciated though. ^_^
umm.. that was great....but i think that this sounds like some sort of rap? i didnt get the rime until i set myself to the right tune XDD. really good.
