Waking Up Prologue He watched the boy sleep. There’s no way he has the makings, let alone the attitude. As he neared the area where the young man had laid his head down to rest, he noted that a knife was clutched in the boy’s hand. Well, he sleeps prepared, that’s for sure. He knelt down and brushed the hair out of the youngster’s face, being careful not to wake him. “Don’t go down that dark road. I’ve already lost enough people to it, including myself.” He walked towards the window. “Got it memorized?” Chapter 1 Falling. The sense of falling. I mean, I’ve had dreams of falling before, but not like this. This is different. It’s too dark to know whether I’m falling towards ground, or even if I’m actually flying. I feel like I’m touching ground when the ground (or whatever my feet are touching) breaks into little pieces revealing some sort of light I look up to find that the broken pieces are actually doves, flying away. I look down to see what I’m standing on. It’s a platform. Stained glass. I’m slowly floating to the ground, when I notice a door. When I touch ground, I break into a sprint immediately, thinking it’ll get me out of this weird dream and into reality. That’s when the shadows come. Little, deformed figures. All black, with big, yellow, beady eyes and antennas. I don’t have a weapon, so I don’t really know what to do. Run. The platform is pretty small, so there isn’t really that much space to move. Running around forever isn’t going to help. Since I don’t see anything I can use to defend myself, I decide to use my fists. Luckily, it works. The moment I touch them, they pulverize into dust. After a few waves of the shadows, I start to get tired. The door seems so close, but there are too many shadows to get there. I run towards it, flailing my arms wildly – with my eyes closed – hoping to hit them on my way to the door. When I open my eyes, I am merely inches away from it. I reach for the handle and yank it open, finding a blinding light behind it. I walk into it, unflinching. What welcomes me next is another platform. This one is a deep shade of red. It catches my eye at first, then I see the door to what I think is yet another platform. I walk towards it slowly, remembering what happened on the first platform. After about 5 minutes have passed, I start to jog to the door. But this time, it’s not 100 shadows, it’s 3 deformed figures in white suits. Great, just what I needed. This time, I just ran passed them to the door, and this time, it’s not light that greets me. It’s darkness. Ok guys, opinions. No go, or should I keep writing? It's taken me an hour to write this. And yeah, It's very little to base your opinion on something.
Keep going. Definately keep going. I like how you put the thoughts in red, it made it so much easier to read. You really wrote this in an hour? The sentence structure, spelling any grammar are wonderful. I would like to know why this is in the Original Work section, as it seems to be a KH fanfic.
Thought it would. The italics didn't seem to show that much effect, so I made the thoughts red. Yeah. I let my ideas flow, and this was the result. Then I guess one of the mods will move it. I'm using a public computer right now, so when I get home I'll finish writing Chapter 1 and start writing Chapter 2.
Wow, Teddy. I remember when you wrote a different story. You've improved a lot since then; Not big and bulky, easy to read, and most of all, Detailed nicely. Please keep writing this. *Subscribes* :]
