My FIRST fanfic! Well, that's been worth posting. I'm posting it as I write, so some updates may be delayed if I'm too busy to write or whatnot. P.S. When you get to that part, her name is pronounced Roh-zes (with a long o, and the x is pronounces like a z). NOT like Roxas. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A man with pale pink hair sprinkled water over a small patch of orchids. His dark sapphire eyes studied the darkening sky as he moved his hand gradually to give the plants their much-needed water. He had been too busy to make his way to his precious greenhouse since two weeks before, and the soil had begun to dry out. He was finishing his round when he heard a loud thump outside the greenhouse. The muffled sound attracted his attention. He looked over to the door, where the sound had come from, and saw a girl leaning on the door, her back to him. She slid down the side of the glass and put her head in her hands, her dark brown hair pulled into a small ponytail. The man coiled the water hose onto the ground slowly, his eyes still on the girl. His shoulder-length carnation hair streaked his vision as he looked to the side and bent over his task. Finally, he made his way to the door. When he opened it, the girl fell into the moist atmosphere in the greenhouse, having been leaning on the door. Her bloodshot eyes stared up at him from the ground. She stumbled from her place on her back and settled on her knees, her face to the ground. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to intrude. Please forgive me,†the girl begged. The pink-haired man knelt in front of the girl and put a hand on her shoulder. He knew she had to be scared to death. Her eyes stared up at him slowly. She had obviously been crying as well. “My name is Marluxia,†was all the man said. His voice was deep and clear. At his voice, the girl shuddered. Marluxia wondered if he had done anything to offend her. “I’m Roxes,†she finally replied. Marluxia stood and held his hand out to her. She took it and he pulled her from the ground. He put his arm around her shoulders and led her out of the greenhouse, closing the door behind them. The cool, crisp night air was a far cry from the moist warm air in the greenhouse. The pair walked down a dark set of stairs and into a brightly lit hallway. Out of the hall, they descended two more stories to the ground floor. “Hey, Marl--†another man began, but stopped when he was met with the sight of the young girl he had by the shoulders. “I never knew you were a cradle-robber,†he added, laughing. Marluxia ignored his insult and sat down on a leather couch in the living room area. The girl sat beside him, saying absolutely nothing. Her white tank top was splotched with dry blood, and her face was smudged with what appeared to be nothing but dirt. “That’s not funny, Axel. This girl is in trouble. I don’t know what happened to her, but she just appeared at the door of the greenhouse. She’s been crying,†Marluxia said. Axel stood in front of the two, his hands on his hips. His emerald eyes were bright with feigned concern. “How did she get to the roof, I wonder,†he said sarcastically. He laughed and walked away, into the connected kitchen. The girl shifted to stand out of Marluxia’s grasp. Marluxia watched her carefully as she just stood in front of him. Her denim shorts were slightly loose and covered to her mid-thigh. Her hands balled into fists suddenly and she gasped, falling to her knees. Marluxia did nothing, he just watched her. She covered her face with her hands and her body began to shudder slightly. All at once, it seemed like the pressure on her body dissipated and she fell limply to the floor. “Who is that girl? Who brought her here?†asked a commanding voice. Marluxia stood from the couch and faced the man who had spoken. The Superior looked at him, his tawny eyes threatening. “Her name is Roxes. That’s all I know. That’s all she would tell me. I don’t know how she got here. I found her on the roof out by the greenhouse,†Marluxia replied. He was used to being intimidated by Xemnas, so speaking to him was no longer a challenge. “Why did you not leave her there? This is not an orphanage. She looks like she is old enough to care for herself,†Xemnas replied emotionlessly. Marluxia looked back at the crumpled form on the floor. She appeared to be asleep. Obviously she had gone through something terrible. “If you’ll just give me a chance, I’ll care for her. She can’t be older than sixteen. There’s no way she’d survive in The World That Never Was. It’s too dangerous,†the lower-ranked man begged. Xemnas just laughed. “Roxas is a mere fifteen years old, and he survives,†he pointed out. Marluxia sighed, again glancing at the broken girl on the floor. “Roxas also has training and us to protect him. She would have no one,†he said. Xemnas was silent, his golden brown eyes now averting from Marluxia to the girl. Everything he had been taught told him to let her be thrown into the world, but something stopped him. Perhaps it was the begging of his member, and perhaps it was something else. Whatever it was, he assented. “Fine, you may care for her, on one condition. No one else in the Organization is to know she is here,†he explained to Marluxia. Marluxia nodded, but then stopped Xemnas before he left. “Axel already knows, sir,†he remembered. Xemnas nodded. “I’ll inform Axel right away that he is to tell no one of her presence, then,†he replied. Marluxia nodded. Xemnas walked away, his silvery gray hair falling just below his shoulders in the back. Finally, Marluxia’s azure eyes averted his Superior and he looked back at Roxes. “Looks like it’s just you and me then,†he muttered to the sleeping figure. He gently picked her up, careful not to wake her. Her slow breathing was the only thing that even signified that she was alive. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Okay, if this part is too short and you want me to write more per update, just tell me. In Microsoft Word, that's a little bit more than a page. (I type in 10 pt. font. I don't know why, I just like it better.) So, it'll be easy to change how much I post each time. Hope you guys like it!
Very nice! =D I really liked to description.... Ya might wanna tone it down just a WEEEEEEE bit, with the colors, though. But that's just a small thing. This story looks AMAZING! Especially since it's your first one! ^-^ HEY!!! D< WHY am I the first one posting?! This story should be getting WAY more love, peeps! >\
OMG, I LOVE this story!!!!!!!!!!! The detail was INCREDABLE, and I felt like I was really there!!!!!!!!!! Keep up the GREAT work!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :D
Yeah, this story seems awsome!! It's well written and the description of the characters is great! All I have to say know is keep it up, I wan't to read more!:D :D See, now it has 3 posts! But I'm sure it will get much more posts than this..
I tend to get carried away with colors. I hate using the same word over and over, so I try to find different ways to say the same thing. Like with 'sapphire' and 'azure.' They both mean blue, but then blue sounds too generic. And don't even get me started on pink. It took me like twenty minutes to find a different word for the shade of pink Marluxia's hair is. I guess I should've just stuck with 'pink' huh? Thanks! I will keep it up. At least, try to. Thanks, Desmonic! I'm glad everyone likes it!!
Nah, I know how that is. I kinda do the same thing - only with the word "said". Ugh... It sounds so... Plain. >.<; It's not that I didn't LIKE that you tried to find different names for colors, but you just might want to make sure they all match up. For instance - This would be sapphire-ish and this would be azure. See? They're both blue, but also different shades of blue. (I liked the pink color, though. XD It learndeded me a new word. =3) Like I said... This is a small detail, blah blah blah, I'm probably the only spirit inhabiting earth that would catch something as ludicrous, and, yeah. XD I just wanted to feel like I was helping out - you've got real talent thar! XD
YAY!! Next part is now officially up! Just so you know, there probably won't always be updates so close together, but I didn't want to wait until tomorrow to post this part. Well, technically it already IS tomorrow, but you know what I mean. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- When Roxes awoke, she found herself in a dark room. Only the light of a heart-shaped moon showing through the window was provided. She stayed lying, as she was on the bed, afraid to move. In the dark, the room looked dull. Also, she noticed that it appeared to belong to a girl. Vases of flower arrangements were scattered here and there on the furniture. Suddenly, the door of the room opened and a man walked in. He looked familiar, but she couldn’t be sure. He looked over to her from the doorway and closed the door quickly. “Are you alright?” he whispered. Roxes didn’t reply. She was still trying to figure out where she’d seen this man. When he stepped into the moonlight, a spark of recognition was put into her mind. “You saved me, right? Marluxia,” she said quietly. Her voice was below a whisper, and barely audible. But, Marluxia nodded. He knelt at the bedside and looked her over. She was still the same, but she looked more alert. Her eyes finally seemed to look at everything around her, instead of merely staring blankly. “Yeah, I did. But what exactly did I save you from?” Marluxia asked. He then stopped himself. “Hold on, no. You don’t have to answer that. I don’t need to know,” he corrected. Roxes didn’t reply, nor did she meet the eyes of the man speaking to her. Her eyes wandered about the room. Finally, she spoke. “This is your room?” she asked. She saw Marluxia nod from the corner of her sight. She wished she could see it in the light, to see all the colors of the plants around the room. “This’ll be your home while I’m taking care of you. I’m not allowed to tell anyone else you’re here,” Marluxia told her. She gasped and finally looked him in the face. When she saw that he was concerned, she shook her head and looked away. The fact that she would be anonymous was to her liking, but staying here wouldn’t be the best thing. “Nothing’s wrong. I’m fine,” she said, answering Marluxia’s question before it was asked. Marluxia clearly didn’t believe her, but decided not to take the matter any further. It was obviously something she preferred to keep to herself. “I have to go down for a meeting. You’ll be okay here by yourself, won’t you?” Marluxia asked suddenly. It seemed as though the news of this meeting had just come up, and he hadn’t known about it until that very moment. Roxes knew there had to be something strange about Marluxia. She had no idea that there were so many people just like him, though. “Yeah, go ahead,” she said absently. She felt drowsy, and had no interest in him being there anyway. Not for now, that is. She had too many other things on her mind. That included the endless harsh memories to count. She had to get them all organized before they began to reflect in her attitude. Marluxia nodded, oblivious. He exited the room, and closed the door. Marluxia knew he was late, and he also knew that Xemnas hated people who were late. He stopped in mid-step and called the darkness to take him the rest of the way to the meeting room. When he arrived, the meeting was already in session. All eyes turned to him. “Marluxia, if you are late again, I will be forced to take away your privileges,” Xemnas scolded. Only the two of them, and Axel, knew what they were talking about. “Oh, you mean his--” Axel began, but was interrupted. “Axel,” was all Xemnas had to say to silence the red-haired pyromaniac. “His what, Axel? This’ll be good blackmail, if it’s so good Xemnas doesn’t want it spread around,” Axel’s friend Demyx teased. Marluxia shot a deadly glance at the two. He could take them both out easily with his scythe, since they were sitting beside each other. It would only take one well-aimed throw. Suddenly, his thoughts were interrupted. “Silence!” Xemnas called loudly. While Marluxia was having his demented fantasies about Demyx and Axel being nothing but bloody smears on the wall of the assembly room, the noise level had drastically risen. He looked around, shocked that he hadn’t noticed. For now, there was complete silence. “So, uh, what was this meeting supposed to be about?” asked a nervous voice from Xemnas’s left side. The Superior looked at his second-in-command. Even Xigbar, who was rarely intimidated, seemed to feel the frustration radiating from Xemnas’s stare. “I wanted to warn all of you that the roof is off-limits,” Xemnas continued. He looked at Marluxia in particular as this statement was made. “But, what about my plants?” Marluxia asked. He seemed genuinely concerned, but the rest of the Organization laughed, save for Xemnas. The two idiotic laughs Marluxia could point out most blatantly were Axel and Demyx. He stared at them to his left, and his scythe appeared in his hand this time. Without thinking, he threw it at the two offenders, only narrowly missing. On the scythe’s impact with the wall, it dissipated into small shards of darkness, and appeared back in Marluxia’s hand. By now, there was complete silence in the room, all eyes on Marluxia. Marluxia saw the terror in Demyx and Axel’s eyes. He started to aim, and pulled his arm back to launch the weapon once again. As soon as he was about to release the sharp-edged blade, something caught his arm. “Marluxia, what’s gotten into you?” a voice asked. Suddenly, he was snapped out of battle mode, and realized what he was doing. He dropped his weapon and it once again shattered into fragments of darkness. He looked behind him to see that Xigbar was suspended upside down, holding Marluxia’s arm tightly. He was looking at him sternly with his one uncovered eye. Instantly, Marluxia let his tightened muscles relax. “I will care for your garden, Marluxia,” Xemnas replied. All the other’s glances turned from amused to reverent in less than a second. To most, it was a strange difference to picture the ever-serious Xemnas watering Marluxia’s plants. “But, you don’t understand,” Marluxia muttered. Xemnas looked at him sternly, not taking his eyes off of the distraught assassin for many long seconds. Marluxia didn’t notice. His eyes were to the floor, which was far below the Organization. “You have your own affairs to attend to,” Xemnas replied. Axel chuckled, and Marluxia shot him an acidic glance. By now, the entire Organization was curious about what Marluxia’s secret was. Xemnas also looked at Axel, which was enough to silence him. “Why is the roof off-limits?” Saix asked suddenly. Xemnas turned to him, and shook his head, as if saying that it was not to be discussed. “Yes, Superior,” Saix replied to the glance. “That is all. You may return to your normal activities. Except Marluxia,” Xemnas said. Marluxia nodded as the others called the darkness to take them back to whatever they had been doing before the abrupt meeting. “Sir, my flowers,” Marluxia muttered. His plea echoed through the nearly empty room. “I had to say something so the others could not assume I was giving you special treatment. You may return to the greenhouse, but Roxes must go with you, and she must stay there,” Xemnas commanded. Marluxia saw no hint of a joke in his tanned features. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Hope you liked! Comments are nice, and critique, too. Just no flames, please. That just lowers my self-esteem, and I'm already not so proud of this part. It's kind of... dull. To me. And compared to the first part. WARNING!! I'm NOT posting the next part if people don't start posting more comments on it! So, to all of you who like it, tell your friends. It's not just because I want to be popular or anything, I just don't see the point in keeping on if no one ever comments on it.
