This is What I Hate About Rep Systems

Gonna go with working towards what I want, rather than passively accepting it based on the premise that life sucks
The fact that bad things exist is a terrible excuse to stop acknowledging they exist, and I'd much rather make my life harder and care than to be apathetic

 

The life sucks part was a sarcastic way of saying "bad shit happens in life, deal with it"

I'm just going to stop replying to this thread, you aren't understanding anything I am trying to say. Not worth my time.

 

This is kind of the mentality that I've adopted very recently. Especially in regards to this website. If I am uncomfortable with the conversation or if I see it's going nowhere, I'm more likely to walk away from it than continue. I'm not giving anyone the middle finger. It's for my own well being.

It's not apathy. I have to think of my mental well being at the end of the day. If a conversation makes me feel anxious or upset, I'm not going to seek putting myself through hell just for the benefit of a conversation. There have been times where I simply closed out of KHV altogether because I didn't feel comfortable at all on it.

 

I can see both sides of this.

Now, let's all be friends. c:

 

Here's the thing, just leaving is a bit rude, but it's understandable, neg repping makes it more malicious in intent, it's no longer about bowing out for whatever reason, it's specifically "You're wrong, and I won't bother telling you why, goodbye"
The rep is the middle finger, the act of just leaving is just a bit inconsiderate

 

While there is no apathy switch, you can change your values some, in fact it is hard not to. What you think and how you feel about things changes your values constantly little by little. And part of the joy of debate is having those great shifts when you find that you were once mistaken. Being intentional about the change it is hard though. I won't say that you you should necessarily try to change values, but it is an option to look at.

For example, when I was a kid I cared about grades a lot. But I've also got very slow processing speed, so it took nearly all of my free time to keep up in school and stressed me to hell. I eventually changed the values to say that the grade wasn't important, the learning was, so I did the work required to know the material and nothing more. Now in college my grades matter again and I've been working hard to change my values back towards what they used to be.

For you I would say there would be two main viewpoints that could change the situation dramatically.
First, rep is just a number. If you are okay with who you are and what you said, what does it matter that someone else doesn't feel the same?
Second, someone that would respond in that matter is likely someone you wouldn't want to be in a long conversation with.
Together it means someone you don't care about just insulted you with a worthless number. Maybe you missed out on an interesting debate, but the disappointment and annoyance brushes off pretty easy.

 

I definitely understand what you mean with the first part. Making changes and getting things done is easier than it seems, but the act of not caring is a lot trickier than that. If you have to make an effort to not care about something, the you are making yourself care about the not caring. It's like when people go around posting how they don't care about things, it just makes it clear they DO care about these things, but are trying to come off like they don't. I'm sure there are ways to get yourself to care about things in a different or more positive way, but I can't really see how you can make yourself NOT care.

And maybe I haven't made it clear enough, but I don't care about rep scores. As long as my total rep doesn't go into the negatives, since people often use that as a free license to be a dick to someone, it really doesn't matter, it cna be fun to set goals or try and gain rep, but it is just a number. My issue is the way a neg rep can be used to basically get the last word in without actually making a last word. If the person jsut left it, eh, kinda annoying but I'll forget about it in a day or two, but the neg rep frustrates me, and not just when it's used one me, because it's such a lazy and cheap device for people to use to make an otherwise fairly neutral action malicious.

And I should make it clear that this one instance didn't bother me THAT much. I would definitely have forgotten about it by now if not for this topic, it's the overall theme I dislike. I think it's a bad system that encourages dickish behavior, helps destroy good arguments, and really is overall just a nonverbal way to say **** you to someone and get away with it