This is the best thing I've read in a long time.

Discussion in 'The Spam Zone' started by Boy Wonder, Oct 13, 2015.

  1. Boy Wonder Dark Phoenix in Training

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    It's a screenplay.

    Title by Greg Allen​



    (Greg and Melissa sit at a table.)

    Greg: Statement. Statement. Statement. Question?
    Melissa: Agreement.
    Greg: Reassured statement. Confident statement. Confident statement. Overconfident statement.
    Melissa: Question?
    Greg: Elaborate defensive excuse.
    Melissa: Half-hearted agreement.
    Greg: Insecure statement. Distracted statement. Absurd statement.
    Melissa: Clarification question?
    Greg: Panicked bullshit explanation. Quick meaningless comic non sequitur.
    Melissa: Laughter.
    Greg: Fake laughter.
    Melissa: Laughter.
    Greg: Fake laughter. Unconscious compliment of physical characteristics.
    (Pause as he realizes what he said.)
    Melissa: Pleased response.
    Greg: Shocked continuation of meaningless comic non sequitur.
    Melissa: Laughter.
    Greg: Relieved confident laughter.
    Melissa: Laughter. Superficial compliment with accidental double entendre.
    Greg: Confident laughter.
    Melissa: Embarrassed laughter.
    Greg: Confident laughter. Confident suggestive proposition.
    Melissa: Violent denial.
    Greg: Aghast repetition as a question?
    Melissa: Disgusted denial.
    Greg: Defensive incriminating implication.
    Melissa: Offended retort.
    Greg: Aggressive childish insult.
    Melissa: Disbelieving rhetorical question?
    Greg: Aggressive childish insult.
    Melissa: Stunned silence.
    Greg: Aggressive childish insult!
    Melissa: Defensive childish resonse!
    Greg: Aggressive childish insult!
    Melissa: Defensive childish resonse!
    Greg: Aggressive childish insult!
    Melissa: Defensive childish response!
    Greg: Attempted Condescending Conclusive Statement!
    (He begins to rise to leave)
    Melissa: (Rising.) BRILLIANT SCATHING REMARK WITH LITERARY ALLUSIONS AND LONG-TERM DEVASTATING SCATALOGICAL IMPLICATIONS!
    (she exits, leaving him sitting at the table.)
    Greg: Pathetic self-revelation.
    -Curtain-​
    (
     
    Boy Wonder, Oct 13, 2015
    Boy Wonder, Oct 13, 2015
    #1

  2. Magick ~Meaner then my demons~

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    Magick: Eyebrow raises. Opinion of Boy Wonder changes.
     
    Magick, Oct 13, 2015
    Magick, Oct 13, 2015
    #2

  3. Arch Mana Knight

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    Dammit Bueno.
     
    Arch, Oct 13, 2015
    Arch, Oct 13, 2015
    #3

  4. Meilin Lee RPG (Red Panda Girl)

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    [​IMG]
     
    Meilin Lee, Oct 13, 2015
    Meilin Lee, Oct 13, 2015
    #4

  5. . : tale_wind Ice to see you!

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    Smug and pleased grin.
     
    . : tale_wind, Oct 13, 2015
    . : tale_wind, Oct 13, 2015
    #5

  6. Laurence_Fox Chaser

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    Not enough aggressive childish insults.
     
    Laurence_Fox, Oct 13, 2015
    Laurence_Fox, Oct 13, 2015
    #6

  7. ShibuyaGato Transformation

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    if you thought that was great, watch this
     
    ShibuyaGato, Oct 14, 2015
    ShibuyaGato, Oct 14, 2015
    #7

  8. . : tale_wind Ice to see you!

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    Slightly resentful comment about how Older Actress Who Should Just Retire Already does not fit my preconceived notion of how Supporting Female Character appeared when I read the book. Even more resentful comment on how Character Suffering From Most Topical Disability of the Year has been whitewashed from the book.
     
    . : tale_wind, Oct 14, 2015
    . : tale_wind, Oct 14, 2015
    #8

  9. Plums Wakanda Forever

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    Quaking guffaw.
     
    Plums, Oct 14, 2015
    Plums, Oct 14, 2015
    #9
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