Let me explain my situation. I'm 15. My parents have been split up since as long as I can remember. Early after they broke up, my dad met a girl we'll just call stupid motherfuсking whore, or SMW for short. My mom didn't let me see my dad and SMW for a while at first, but i think when i turned about seven or so i started doing week on, week off with my mom and dad. When I was eight my mom met a new guy and got married. SMW has always been kind of a bitсh. I really hated dealing with her, but I did anyway because when she wasn't being a bitсh she was actually really cool (turned out to be bipolar disorder), and i really loved my dad and brothers. I never really found out what my dad saw in her. So i just put up with her and usually had a generally good life with both my mom and my dad. When i was about 11, SMW started doing drugs. She had already been smoking weed for a while, but she started getting into tweak and other stuff i probably haven't even heard of. It made her fuсking horrible to be around. It got increasingly difficult to put up with her, but i still went to my dads house and never mentioned anything to my mom because I loved my brothers and dad a lot. Obviously it was very confusing for me. I barely knew what drugs were, and some of the things she did probably fuсked me up psychologically in ways i probably don't even know. She was beating me until i was like 13. But I loved my brothers. And when i was about 13, my mom's side of the family found out that SMW was doing drugs. They demanded that she go to some kind of rehab and I was only allowed to see my dad every other weekend, it was hard for me but it turned out to be for the best. I don't believe she ever really quit. She was still terrible to be around. After SMW's rehab my mom decided to let me see my dad for 3 days out of each week. SMW was only worse. She still hit me, yelled at me all the time, calling me stupid and other things i really don't even want to remember. When i was almost fourteen, there were a few incidents. First, she shoved me into a wall, and it gave me some serious shoulder pains. Few weeks later, she broke a beer bottle in front of my dad's head right in front of me. And a few weeks after that, she yelled at me during dinner for no fuсking reason and then threw my laptop at me the next morning. I was fuсking done. I told my dad that I was done seeing her and that I wasn't going to his house anymore. Despite everything that happened, my dad said i was being unreasonable. I ended up going with him a few times out of the month. Most of the time i wouldn't have to see SMW, and when i did she wouldn't talk to me. But he slowly kind of wormed me into going to her house a few times. I told him that it needed to stop, and it didn't. My dad was really hurt when i told him i was really done. Until a week ago, i hadn't seen my dad or brothers, or even talked to them, since November of last year. It was really hurting me that I hadn't seen my brothers, so i decided to go over to SMW's house to see them-under the impression that she wouldn't be there. She wasn't there at first, and neither were my brothers. But the entire time my dad was trying to tell me how different she was. How she had quit drugs, how she was taking pills for her bipolar disorder, how i would never see that she was different unless i lived with him for a while. Then she showed up. I was pissed, and i showed it. But she had my brothers with her. So i just hung out with them the entire day, i never had to talk to her or even see her. They were different. They looked different, they dressed different, their voices sounded different, and they acted different from the last time i had seen them. It had been a long time. And that hurt, a lot. I felt like i was missing out on watching them grow up. Not only that, but it seemed they were being negatively affected by me not being there. Their grades were slipping. Before, i used to help them with their homework a lot. They were arguing with each other a lot more. I used to kind of be the mediator between them. I was crushed by guilt. But fuсk, i had a good reason, didn't i? Their mom is fuсking awful. We still ended up having a pretty nice time together. They were sad when i left. I was only there for a day. Now my dad wants me to go back, and i don't know what to fuсking do. I don't want to hurt my dad or brothers, but i don't want to see my bitсh of a stepmom either. I feel guilty, but i feel like I shouldn't. I'm really confused and I don't know what to do. If anyone has some advice, lay it on me please.
You have every right not to go and see her. To be honest thorugh after she started hurting you more you should have told your mom or called 911 but i totaly understand your reason's. Why dont you try haveing JUST your brothers coming to see you? or is that not alwed? if its not then tell your dad and im sorry but really f***** beat it into him that you will not allow seeing that idiot of a step mom. if he doesnt agree to that. also try going out everytime t ee your brothers.just ask your dad to just take your and your brothers out. to the mall or to the park or a somwere just with table so you can talk to them and have them bring their home work if needed. Dont feel guilty though. none of it was your fault. you had to stop going or else you would have gotten worse so dont feel guilty. tlk this over with only your dad or your brothers. I hope i could have had been some help for you. Ill be praying for you
Believe me, I've tried that. But every single time my dad just tries to convince me to go to their house, and keeps on talking about how different she is, and most of the time i cave in and end up doing it. If that keeps happening...I just can't let that keep happening.
Your right you jut cant let it. if he has a way to convince you to go over there and turn it around and try to convince him taking them to were you are... like try saying you did somthing new to your room and you want your brothers to see... or you got new piece of what ever to go in your room or at the house so they can see.you know somthing like that? doesnt hurt to try.
The thing about that is, well my brothers are...how should i say..material, and my house wouldn't keep them entertained for very long. And my dad has this really paranoid thing about my stepdad and he doesn't want them coming over to my house. That's probably just some kind of ploy to try to get me to go to their house :/ The only thing i'm really afraid of is that my brothers are going to end up resenting me when they get older. I mean, anyone reading this thread can tell what an awful mother thiers must be, i feel like they think it's probably something every kid has to go through. They really love their mom and they have trouble seeing why i don't. I get really scared sometimes. The last thing I want is for them to resent me for something I had a perfectly good reason for.
I understand all of that... alright well... i just say once more just go to their house and sit your brothers down and tell them why you stopped coming. tell them the truth. And tell them that your scared that they will turn against you. im serious just tell them. and if they dont believe you atleast you tried right? just tell them. and until your dad lets thm go over to your house call them every single day ater school and talk to them on speaker phone or have them swich off. one has a turn or ir they have two phones they can both hear you. and i know it may sound dumb but im serious cause atleast you have way to talk to them. OR another way is have them get a LT and you guys can go on web cam.
