Things You Don't Want to Hear During Surgery

-"Accept this sacrifice, O Great Lord of Darkness"
-Bo! Bo! Come back with that! Bad Dog!
-Better save that. We'll need it for the autopsy.
-Wait a minute, if this is his spleen, then what's that?
-Hand me that... uh... that uh... thingie
-Oh no! I just lost my Rolex.
-Oops! Hey, has anyone ever survived 500 ml of this stuff before?
-There go the lights again...
-Ya' know... there's big money in kidneys...and this guy's got two of 'em.
-Everybody stand back! I lost my contact lens!
-Could you stop that thing from beating? It's throwing my concentration off.
-What's this doing here?
-I hate it when they're missing stuff in here.
-That's cool! Now can you make his leg twitch?!
-Well folks, this will be an experiment for all of us.
-Sterile, shcmerle. The floor's clean, right?
-What do you mean he wasn't in for a sex change?
-OK, now take a picture from this angle.
-This is truly a freak of nature.
-This patient has already had some kids, am I correct?
-Nurse, did this patient sign the organ donation card?
-Don't worry. I think it is sharp enough.
-What do you mean, "You want a divorce"!
-FIRE! FIRE! Everyone get out!
-Rats! Page 47 of the manual is missing!
-Isn't this the one with the really lousy insurance?

 

"Scalpel... Blood bucket....... Priest, NEXT PATIENT!"

 

You definitely don't want to hear the surgeons say, "hey..did one of you guys knick the colon?"

xD

 

I would never want to hear "oops!"

 

"Whaddya mean we're out of anesthetics?!!"

.......

 

"...Strange, I see no problems with your dorsal fin..."

 

"I have good news and bad news ma'am. The good news is, your pregnent. The bad news is that I think I just removed your babies kidney"

 

"OK, whos the smart-ass that removed this guy's penis!?"

 

"What do you mean 'that wasn't supposed to come out'?!"

 

"Where's my pen?...they didn't close Mr. Smith up yet did they?"

 

(for all future fathers out there...)
"Congradgulations. Its a girl =)"

 

"Okay, so the rules are:
- You can't let the liver hit the ground,
- You can only hold it for 3 seconds before you toss it to the next person
- If you drop it, you have to go in and get one of the kidneys."

 

Alright Everybody! DIG IN!!! I got dibs on the lungs!