So I promised myself that after a certain amount of time I would make a poetry thread here on KH-V. Well, that time has come and here is my poetry thread. I started writing poetry "for fun" last year, I don't think I've exactly "honed my skills". But CnC is very hard to find so I've come to you KH-V! I've only recently started to share my poetry with others hence the thread title. I'll update when I can,or when I feel like it. Just for future reference, I tend to not fallow a rhyme scheme. My poems can best be put as "rhythmic streams of consciousness" Please CnC is very, very appreciated. So let's start, shall we? I wrote this poem in Geometry class. =) It's based on a short story that I am writing, but I leave the overall meaning up to you. A Pyro’s Romance Please, please come with us. We’re going to live tonight. The fire in our hearts has been burning far too bright for us to keep it inside We beg and we plead. With your hand in mine, “Come. Come out! We’re running out of time!” But they’re oblivious to our desperate cries. So come with me darling, And we’ll laugh as we say goodbye. This place is a cage. But now it’s our turn. We’ll sit here smiling. As we watch the city burn. Edit:Some of the grammar was corrected and phrasing was changed.
I fixed a few grammar errors for you, and I underlined them too; also I added in the word "rind" in section two. The main things you need to work on is punctuation and capitalization. I wish you luck on your short story.
Yes indeed, as much as I love to write I stink at grammar and spelling.-_- Thank you so much for taking your time to do this, you're awesome! Thank you, I'll try my best.
(Last time I checked, Geometry has nothing to do with poetry. Bad Clear B|) Anyway, I liked the poem; you established a clear (hurrdurr) locale, as well as a metaphor for the city burning (which, due to all the conspiracy readings and the current reading I am doing of Fahrenheit 451, which coincidentally involves burning), I took your poem to represent how some individuals in modern day society just say "To hell with it all! Come on out, let's watch everything go up in smoke and party till we're dead! Life's too short to abide by some rules!" Overall, good job and I wish you to continue with this thread c:
That's right poetry has nothing to do with Geometry...because poetry is better then Geometry! Thanks, you've pretty much got the gist of it the fire is a symbol of something, I only know what that something is. I don't want to tell you, that would ruin the whole "interpretation" aspect that I love about poetry. Thanks Plums, I will! Okay time for the next one guys. For English class we had an assignment where we had to write a two sonnets. One about Romeo and Juliet and one about whatever we wanted. And I chose....ANIME! I'm not proud about the rhyming on this one but it was very fun to write. This one is for all you anime fans out there. Anime Sonnet Anime is awesome and amazing. Japanese cartoons running all about. On their adventures that are exciting. It is entertaining without a doubt. The main character is always the hero. They can never be obliterated. Never are they portrayed as a zero. This shouldn’t need to be reiterated. They will always obtain the greatest prize. Being that they seem superhuman. Fighting with a weapon that’s twice their size. While eating a bowl of tasty ramen. Anime is a root of obsession. So it must be watched with much discretion.
xD Finally! Anyway, on a serious note, I took this poem as a satire of the typical anime. Especially about the bit of being superhuman (Suzaku, Ichigo, etc) and the bit about the ramen. Once again, you talent is "clear" at poetry c: (lame joke is lame)
You've received quite a few comments on "A Pyro's Romance" so I'll talk about your anime sonnet. First impressions- wow, I don't think I've ever seen a sonnet on here before, so this is a pleasant suprise. Upon a deeper glance- I'm undecided on the simplistic style, I've never been too fond of lots of fullstops(periods) within a poem. The rhyming is decent despite your fears but you slipped up when applying a poetic device. You've tried to use enjambment here, aka a running line, where the sentence follows onto the next line. However, because you placed a period at the end of the first line, it has altered the flow. Some parts of the poem are rather impressive, while others seem a little cheesy. Your poem certainly fits an anime stereotype, as Plums stated. :v
Wow Juicy reviewed my poem.0.0 Thanks! I actually took what you said into account before posting the next poem, so I removed a considerable amount of periods. Well it's been a while and...uh I have wanted to post this for *sigh* a very long time. Why did I hesitate? Various reasons stemming from inability to get on the computer that had the poem to my own personal fear. This poem, unlike my last two ,* is highly personal to me. To be frank I don't know if I have the guts to even put it up here. But I will. This poem, well it's not even really a poem it's prose. So this prose is like a soap opera: an emotional piece of junk. It really is that terrible, I'm completely serious! But it being terrible is all the more reason to post it here. Rip this thing to pieces, please! I need it. One last thing(I'll shut up soon, I promise you.=) this poem follow no real theme...at all, hence the title. So if you're extremely lost, I'm sorry. Now that I have written an essay, here it is: Ramblings There is part of me that isn’t satisfied A part of me that lacks pride The pride to stand out To say no To say there is no place that I don’t want to go. I am a worthless, worthless soul I live a lie everyday, pretending I am someone I am not That I am amazing, beautiful, worth putting effort into That is the lie I am not kind Not patient Not gentle I am brash Rude Emotional I am the Devil’s advocate I am the punching bag I am the unheard voice The ghost of memories I am the one that begs for attention And feels so bad for doing so. I am the observer I watch everything slip through my fingers I see people unknowingly leave me behind I was the lone wolf. The leader of her own pack A world that I thought I had left behind But I sometimes long to go back For there, there are no standards You live by your own rules No impressions, no image Just you. Just me. I sometimes wonder what it would be like if I were to die What I would find on the other side? The selfish though “Would anyone miss me?” When the world fades to black will I be happy? Sometimes I wonder why I have life Am I blessed or cursed? What is my purpose my...destiny? When will I find it? How will I find it? Will I find love? Will I succeed? Will I fail? Will still be a lone wolf at heart? Will I finally figure myself out? * All of these questions, these mysteries But I don’t want to answer them right away For now they’ll slip into their corners Hide and sleep Until another day.
