Oh god, I'm so pissed and upset. I went to church this evening for a night service, and because I'm in the Confirmation Class I had to help lighting the candles. So when it started, I was the one who had to light the advent wreath (however you spell it). So I got the first two done, but of course the ****ing third candle wouldn't light. I looked like such a frickin ******, which is the LAST thing I need. People think my brother is mental, so they think I am. I mean, he isn't even mental at all. Anyway, I FINALLY got it lit, and then the rest was pretty good. My parents are divorced, but they were both there tonight and at the end when we were waiting I was DREADING that they might be all like "D'awww, congrats guyzz. You did suuuuch a good job." Basically, embarassing parent stuff. So my mom was okay, but I asked them before my dad talked just to talk normally. So then he had to be all embarrassing and talk in a loud, VERY loud voice and be like, "OH YOU DID SO GOOD." He does that just to embarrass me, and especially in public places. He thinks it's funny that I'm always self conscious of myself. People at both church and school, as I said, already think I'm mental. They also think I'm going out with this one kid who they also think is mental, and just happens to go to my church and just happens to sit in front of me or near me in all of my freaking classes. And they are like, "Oh, he's soooo good for you." And they are always talking about how he's mental, so I'm REALLY pissed. Yesterday, my brother said that in Math one of the most popular kids was like, "Yah, he's actually straight, because he's going out with that mental girl Alexandra (omg real name tiem?)" and I was so pissed. Advent, Haseo and What? know, because I ranted about that on MSN yesterday ;D But anyway, so thankfully the annoying kid who always is talking to me and they think I'm going out with wasn't there tonight. But after my dad said that, I just left. I walked out of the church, turned my IPod on high and waited by the car. They were only like 2 minutes, but I was pissed off. My dad and mom then got all pissed, and my brother always sides against me so they were all freaking mad at me. I just want a chance that people do not think I'm mental. ;-; But we went to a restraunt, and I'm actually a very tough person and rarely cry. But I am just SO upset and it's been built up so long that right when we got our table I went to the bathroom and started crying. Not hard, just a few tears. After just dabbing my eyes a bit and going back, I was okay. But then they were talking about how I couldn't get the candle lit and all, and I had to go to the bathroom again. I ended up having to go like five times, most when my dad was REALLY not helping at all, and making it worse by being like, "But you're not mental." Which was what I was saying for like 10 minutes before then, and then they would just start ignoring me halfway through my story of the things at school. I had to cry a little bit on the way back, I'm still pissed now. I'm surprised at how much this is getting to me. I used to be so sociable, and all. There's this kid that I REALLY like in some of my classes. He was in some of mine last year too, but that was before I liked him. Sometimes, I get the feeling that he likes me back, which surprises me because every freaking person talks about my brother and I. For the first few months, a group of kids would be talking, and one would be like, "Hold on a sec..." and then turn away and ask me, "Hey, are you (not giving away my brother's name, he may not like it) sister?" And I'd be like, "Yeah." So they'd turn around and start talking again. I KNOW they must've been talking about us before that Bl But anyway, no one except the annoying stalker guy wants to be my partner in group activities, but a couple of times the kid offers to work with me. I can tell that he knows I'm not mental, and I really want to go out with him. But I'm afraid he won't ask me out because of what other people think of me. Damn...I'm so pissed right now. And on Christmas Eve, too. I really just needed to rant, though.
I know others can bring you down and such, but partially that is because you are letting them get to you. You do something that messes up and you are so worried you'll look ******ed that you are becoming your own worst enemy. If I were you, I'd tell your dad that he's absolutely no help and if he wants to be a tard, have his xmas eve next year alone. You don't need that crap. If he wants respect, he should respect you back. Also add in that you don't see him that often so when you do, you'd rather he wasn't making fun of you for the time and instead acting like a real dad. Maybe that will wake him up. As for other people, their opinions really don't matter so much. You have become so worried on what they think that you feel you must do whatever to prove you aren't mental etc. Every little mistake is a mistake, and it's being taken as a lot more serious and even as embarrassing. These flukes happen to anyone, whether those brats who make fun of you will admit it or not. They aren't flawless and you aren't either. Don't let yourself become introverted due to their stupidity, ok? You are a nice person and becoming stressed out and shy, afraid to do things etc, it's not good. These kids won't be around you forever. School can suck because of morons like that but it definitely isn't a reason to let them win. Stand up and be proud of yourself. Be yourself. Screw what they say. Most of them won't be doing jobs worth anything anyway and you probably won't see more than a handful of them after school again. Feel better, really. Don't bring yourself down. You are not mental. If you were, you'd have added that 'hurr hurr' laugh thing to your post. :)
There's really, not much you can do but be yourself. you could go on and on saying you're not mental, but they would still keep bothering you. All you can do is demostrate by your actions that you are not mental. and since Repliku is gonna go all super huge essay on the thread..I'll shut up now.
Oh lol, the hurr hurr laugh. But anyway, I did tell my dad at the time that he wasn't helping. And he ignored that. I told him a couple of times. Normally he can be a good listener, but when it comes to this topic he never does. I'm at my mom's, she has me for Christmas this year, and my phone is dead xD So I can't call him. I'll talk to him tomorrow. I know it is kind of my fault, I shouldn't let them get to me. He already did ;D But anyway, when I think about trying to act normal, like walking, I walk all clumsily and bump into things. I walk fine when not thinking about it.
Well what I mean is be serious with him and not emotional. Just tell him that he's no help and that he's being moronic and you'd appreciate he act like a real dad since your time with him is not so often. Then leave it at that and hang up or go somewhere else. Don't get emotional and teary. Just do something else and leave it at that and it will sink in. You have to stand up for yourself and be calm because you do have a valid reason to. Hell, if it were me, I'd make fun of him back just to get the point across that he's the one acting like he's 'mental'. Then again, I have my tremendous sarcastic side that likes to make people get things the painful way if they refuse to listen to reason. Good luck to you and I hope your holiday brightens some. P.S. Chervalier, it wasn't an immense essay. >.>
Exactly, just don't think about it. Maybe you should be a little more accertive with your father. Telling him a detailed explanation on why he's not helping at all. @Repliku: You are bound by the Essays. >.>
Actually, I live with him, so I see him everyday, but not today. I really want to do just that, thanks. And probably at a better time, too.
Awww, sorry, Xaale. That sucks. I know it's tough, but try to ignore it. With people like this there isn't much you can do. As for your dad, try to talk to him about it again. Tell him that what he's doing is really a problem.
I'll try xD I feel a bit better now that it's three hours later, and I've had some alone time. I can't belive I even cried, I like, NEVER cry. It was all built up, I guess.
Xaale, if my parents had done something like this, i would have left and walked home. I can understand how parents tease, but if you tell them to stop, then they should respect you and do it. I know that divorces can be hard on families and such, but you really need to talk to your dad one on one, no distractions, and tell him exactly how you feel. Tell him how much his comments hurt you and you need someone as a support. On the other hand, it's school. Kids will be kids no matter how much you try and tell them otherwise or try and change them. I'd suggest being the bigger person and just letting it slide off your shoulders. Either way, I hope that tommorrow brings better memories.
Don't worry. I've been there. Clumsiness, embarassing parents, getting paired with some freak, gossiping, parents who don't take you seriously. And I admit that it got to me in the very beginning. But then I was hard on myself once, telling myself that I was a pathetic loser for not being able to rise above it with a smile. I promised myself to work on that, I have, and I was successful. And from that day onward I found this kind of situations hilarious if nothing else. And if you are indeed very tough, then you will too. In due time.
I talked to him seriously today. He said he wouldn't do it anymore, and hopefully he won't. Thanks guys :3 Thanks, I really should be hard on myself for this. Thanks, Styx. I really should follow your advice.
Kick everyone's butt I swear. I'd be pretty pissed as well. Just ignore everyone; tell your parents to stop acting that way, ughh
Yeah, that's the way... Try to follow that advice for a laugh and see how much your situation will better. :D
