The Story of Christmas

Gather 'round children it's story time.

So like Mary was all up in her house praying and **** and then this angel came down ans was all like "God wants you as his baby momma" and Mary was all like "no prob bob". So then Mary was all prego and her sugar daddy Joseph was all like "why'd God tap that and not me?". He stayed around and dragged Mary with him to pay taxes. Because they didn't make a reservation in advanced the holidays forced Mary's delivery into a barn with animals and other **** like that where she shot the watermelon through the lemon hole to get Jesus. Also these three guys were following a star that some how led them to baby Jesus and they gave him money and cologne. On their way back to their home land another angel appeared to them and was all like "Herod is a punk *** ***** don't trust him, so take a new route home". That way Herod was unable to find Jesus and use is supple baby flesh for food, etc. Then that angel taxied over to some people watching sheep. They were tired and were sleeping when the angle busted in and was all like "come see this baby, he'll like walk on water and be made of bread and wine in then future". With nothing better to do they woke up and bused on over to the stable to see Jesus. Everyone was happy, especially Jesus.

The End.

 

umm... ok then...