A Larxene story much more different then the Story of Rodul... I'm starting from her past to now... The Story of Arlene Is it over? Is the pain gone? Is my world completly gone? Where's my mother? Wasn't she here a minute ago? Is she dead? Am I dead? I only remember one thing, a flash of lights coming towards me and my mother. A horn honking as we stare to the light flashing directly at us. I don't really get it. Where am I now? On the concrete lying dead? Or up in heaven in the sky in the blue resting peacefully? I heard a soft mumble coming through my ears. The sound of my...father. I slowly opened my eyes, only seeing a blurr of 5 people standing around me. I blinked and rubbed my eyes, so I could see clearer. There they were, my four brothers and my father. Dave,Radius, Arc and the quiet one Greg. I tried to speak but no words could come out. My father quickly hugged me, before i knew it. I heard a soft mumble and sounds of tears. He then whispered, " I'm glad your okay, your a lucky girl, my daughter, my baby angel of all!" I couldn't understand, what is he talking about. Until it came back, a white flash came into my eyes, giving me a blnk stare. I looked around and too my father off of me. "Where's mom..?" I asked. My brothers turned around and put they're head down, facing the floor. My Dad looked into my eyes and slowly said, " She's...dead." My eyes widened and i shook my head. "No..No...NO!!" I shook my head even more, trying to snap out of it. "NOOO she's not dead!!!Your lying!!!Lying!!!!Imbecile!Liar!!!" I shouted. I had tears run down my face, drip, drip and drip again repeatedly. "Sweety she's dead there's nothing to do!" My dad said. I shook my head and kicked my feet into the air. ''NOOO" ~4 years later ~ I have been completely different, it's been four years since my mothers death of a car accident. My brothers have been bullying me this year, only one didn't. I'd just see him sitting on a branch of a tree watching me getting bullied. I can't stand Radius,Dave and Arc! They're annoyying. My older sister is coming to visit us. I'm hoping my brothers won't bother me, while her visit. I walked down the stairs heading to the kitchen, I heard my brother Radius and Arc fighting for the cereal again. It's always that. As i entered the kitchen i saw them fighting. "NO!!! I get the Cereal!!!" Radius shouted. "Wait guys stop fighting!" My brother Dave called. The two stopped and stared at Dave annoyed. Dave gave a sly glare. "Why don't you just take Arlene's cereal? He he work's for me!" He called. I frowned. "Why mines? Can't you just-" "Good idea! I'm stealing Arlene's cereal!!!" Radius shouted. I looked to the ground, and felt a tap on my shoulder. I looked up and saw my brother Greg. "You can take mines...i'm not hungry anyway." He whispered. I rubbed my temples and nodded. "Thanks Greg." He walked off as i walk to the table and took Greg's plate. I ate quietly, while I heard my brothers rant and hear they're munches and crunches from the chewing. It was annoying. I walked out the door with my brother Greg, he always walks me to school. I looked to him and said, " How come you weren't hungry?" He looked to me and stopped from walking. "I just felt bad for you." He said I nodded. That's it, hope ya like it...it's short and stuff. Sorry for any spelling mistakes...:)
Chapter 2..... Arlene was sitting on the grass outside, waiting for her four brothers to come out and walk with her. "They take so long!" She said to herself. "Hey wittle warlene!!gwoing to schwool??Ahahahaha!!!" He brother said. Arlene glared at her brother and at her other 2 brothers, just laughing at her. ''Stop it, and i'm not little!!!" she yelled. A hand was put in front. "Let's go to school now." Greg said. The thre boys sighed and walked forward. "Greg...why didn't you eat your breakfast?" Arlene whispered over to his big brother. "Because, I felt sorry for you and your always getting bullied." He said. Arlene looked over to her 3 brothers babbling their mouths off. "Oh...Thanks Greg." ~School~ "By Greg and...Dave..*cough* " Arlene said. I saw my two brothers, they were coming forward to me, having a grin apon their face. "What?" I asked. My brother took charge and grabbed my lunch. Arlene gasped and said," Hey give that back! That's mine!!!" She cried. The two laughed at her while holding her lunch up. "If it's yours then go fetch!!!" Radius called. He threw her lunch over her head, on the roof of the school. "Go.Fetch." Arc said giving a smile. Arlene's eyes went watery, she gave a pouty look and ran away. The boys laughed at her pointing and laughing. It was rude and childish.Acting like dumb children doing something mean. Arlene was running, she ran off and she saw her big brother Greg walking to school. Arlene had tears flowing down across her cheeks, she was crying while running. She was getting closer until her other big brother Dave came and push her off. "Why you here!? Go back to school you stupid girl!!!" He yelled. Arlene pushed him aside and ran to his brother Greg. Greg looked over his shoulder and the next thing he knew a hug came over him. He looked down and saw his little sister, Arlene crying and hugging him. Greg put his arms around her and picked her up. Arlene had her head on his shoulder, and her hands wrapped around his neck. ~Home~ Arlene blew her nose into the tissue. She looked up and wiped the last tear fallen. "They were bullying me Greg." Arlene lowered her head. "The took my lunch and threw on the roof of the school and told me to fetch it. Then Dave said to go back to school and called me a stupid girl!" She cried. Greg walked over to her and put his hand on her head gently. "That's not...nice.They should learn...better." Greg said. Arlene stood up and walked up the stairs, with a pause she smiled. "I'm going to my room brother, oh and sorry for making you miss school." Arlene quietly said. Greg nodded and gave a sly smile, "It's ok, I had to help you." ~Arlene's Room~ Arlene grabbed a yellow book with a lock on it. She took the key from the mini shelf and pressed the key in the keyhole and turned it, giving it a click. She then grabbed a blue pen and went on her bed, all set to write. So she wrote in her book. Dear Diary, today was a another worse day of my life! Radius and Arc took my lunch and threw it over, and Dave called me stupid. I'm lucky i have a brother who gives me respect. Greg. Greg treats me nice and he also listens to me. He took my home and and helped me feel better. Although he missed school and so did I. Now i'm here writing in my Diary , telling what happened. I guess I should stop writing and continue on later. Love the amazing Arlene.<3 Teehee. Arlene closed her book and locked it up. After she went to the window standing looking out. It was beginning to rain. Lighting striked. Arlene smiled at the rain. I love the lightning.Electricty beautiful. She then saw her brother Greg walk out into the rain. Arlene gasped and continued to look. She saw him walking to the road and laying down there. WHAT IS HE DOING!? Arlene ran out of her room, to outside. ~Outside~ She ran and ran until she reached to her brother. "What are you doing?"She asked. Greg looked over and frowned and looked into the sky. "I wanna die and go with mom. I want my pain to stop from the suffer." He said. "Suffer!?" I asked. He nodded. " Long ago when you were born, only 2 years old, something happened to me, something grabbed my heart and took it away. There I though I was dead, but I wasn't. I'm a Nobody as I call. No heartbeat no nothing. I feel nothing. So please. Let me die to stop from the suffer i'm begging you." Greg said. I saw one drop of a tear come down. Greg nodded and took a sharp pointy silver metal thing out of his pocket. A knife. To be Contiuned Like it? Next will come out sometime...please comment it you would like to.
Ok. Sure i'll change the colour to normal:D Thankyou:DI appreciate the comment:D Chapter 3!Here we go!!! Arlene looked at the sharp pointy knife.She looked back at her brother,Greg. "You can't leave!" She cried. Greg looked over and put his hand on her head. "I have no feelings Arlene. I can't live like this forever.I'm begging you once again, let me die and rest in peace." He said clearing his throat. Tears rushed down from Arlene's eyes.Drip.Drip.Drip. Arlene looked away. Suddenly a hand went under her chin. "Please." Greg said. Arlene wiped her eyes and gave a little smile at her brother. "I wanna give you my necklace that I always wear.Keep it, to remember me." Greg said. He pulled out a necklace from his pocket. It had yellow on it having the name 'GREG' on it. Arlene took it from his hand and put it around her neck. "Ok...don't forget me Greg...I love you brother." Arlene said. Greg smiled and faced the knife to his heart. *Shing* The knife was in his heart, blood was spreading throughout his body, he coughed out blood. "Good...b-" Greg was fading. Arlene couldn't believe it, she thought her brother would lay there with her, all bloody, but instead he was fading into ashed into the air. Arlene took his right hand and squeezed it tight. Greg's right hand faded away into ashes. "Bye...Greg." she cried. He's gone, she thought. He'll never come back. He gone with mom resting peacefully and he's probably happy. I wonder how heaven is like...I wish I knew. But I just have to wait. Arlene stood up and wiped her last tear and walked inside the house. As she was walking, the rain grew harder, lightning strucked and the thunder boomed. Arlene smiled and looked up into the rain. "I love the lightning...the flash is so...pretty." she whispered. She arrived to the door and turned the knob. She walked in and took off her shoes and went to Greg's room. ~Greg's Room~ "Greg." Arlene said. She took a step forward in his room and looked around. It wasn't much, only a bed, scattered papers, a picture? Arlene had her eyes focused on the picture. She looked closer and saw two people standing holding hands. It was Arlene and her brother Greg. "I remember. I gave him that picture when I was four years old. It's nice of him to put it on the wall." she said. She turned around and saw a shelf.Stacked with papers and more papers. "More pictures?" She whispered. She walked forward and took hold of the papers. She sat on the cold floor and looked through. '' He draws nice. He's very good." She looked at one picture, two holding hands, both were Greg. One coloured in black and the other normal. "Nobody" Arlene said. She then remembered what her brother had said. I have no feelings. She gasped and her eyes widened. "Does this mean...Greg didn't care about me or the others? Just pretend?" she questioned herself. Arlenes eyes went watery."He didn't care!?" she cried. She covered her face with her hands, while crying. ~Hours later~ Arlene was sitting on the sofa laying there with a frown, doing nothing. Her eyes were all red and puffy from the sobbing and crying. She then heard mumbles from outside and the door opening. Oh crow. They're here. The door opened and along came in Dave,Radius, Arc and Dad. The door slammed. "Arlene what are you doing here?" Dad asked. Arlene turned away facing the sofa. "She ditched school and went home with her big brother Greg." Dave said chuckling. "Shut-up!" Arlene yelled. She stood up and walked to her three brothers. "I'm sick and tire of you guys bullying me! Your hurt me, you tease me and you bully me!-" she yelled. Her dad put his hand on Arlene shoulder and said, " Now Arlene sweety, let's calm down and-" "CALM DOWM!?" Arlene brushed her fathers hand away and took a step back. "You expect me to calm down!? After what happened today!? My day's get worse and worse! Why do I gave stupid brothers who don't care for me!? Tell me that! Why am i picked on!? Was I the 'chosen' one!?" She yelled. She ran to her three brothers taking a knife out. "Arlene put that down NOW!" Dave yelled. She grinned. " This won't hurt, for now your days will be miserable!I've changed! Completely!" She screamed. Her brothers shook and took steps back the time Arlene would get closer with the knife in her hand. "Say GOOD NIGHT!" She yelled. *Stad, Stab and Stab* Arlene laughed and laughed. Her Dad's eyes widened. He took his cell phone out and dialed 9-1-1. Dave was bleeding from the leg, he was covering his leg with his left hand tring to cover the blood from coming out. Radius's arm was bleeding, blood was spreading. And Arc was bleeding from the chest, alot of blood was comnig out. He coughed out blood while crying. It was already finished, the three went to the hospital to heal from their wounds, police were talking to the Dad, Arlene was in her room sitting on her bed crying while giggling. ~Later~ Arlene's eyes were widened, blood was covered on her hand from stabbing her three brothers. "That's what you get." She said. The door opened, police men were there, two with guns and one with a tazer and the other one with hand cuffs. Arlene ran to the window but couldn't open it. The tazer went on and hit Arlene. She shook and fell to the ground shaking cautiously. "Your under-arrest.No court no nothing." The police men said. Arlene grinned." No court eh, well thats good i don't wanna suffer with a dull room, and i'm glad I hurt my brothers, they deserved it." She yelled. The police men took her towards outside to the police car. The Dad shook his head ashamed. Arlene glared at her father. " Bye bye Dad." she said. She went in the car sitting on the seat. She was only 8, going to jail... ~Police Station~ "How much further police officers? It's getting c****y in here." she said. "We're here already." The police officer said. He stopped the engine and went out the polcie car slamming the door from behind, then he went to the other door and opened it. "Come'on." the other police men said. Arlene walked out and stood there, looking at the station. "Jail missy. It's sad you made the wrong choice." He said. "I don't care." Arlene responded. As they entered they went down a long hall then downstairs. Downstairs were jail cells for each, many of them in rows. "Your going in number 12 cell." The police men said. The un-cuffed Arlene and pushed her in. They closed the cell and locked it, after walked away. Arlene smiled and then frowned. " I'm so stupid..." she whispered. " I'm in jail cuz i stabbed three boys from pain." she said. Arlene grinned and sat into the corner. "I'll survive...for." ~~~~~~~~ "For 10 years in here. I don't mind." Arlene said. So she sat and waited and huddled herself up into a ball, rocking back and forth. "I feel so stupid, i'm dumb an imbecile." To be continued. Like it?:) I hoped you liked this chapter, stay tuned for the next chapter...next week or soon, Please comment if you want.:D
Thankyou for commenting:D And yes i'll continue...unless i get homework out of the way...probably in the weekends or the next three days...
Not bad, although I just have a little bit of trouble keeping my attention riveted to the story during the third chapter, despite how touching and sad it was (which is a good thing). However, the grammer and spelling is great, although there were a couple of errors in the story, such as in chapter three, I find the "*Stab, Stab, and Stab*" to sound a little bit...strange...like, it ought to be described in words - and if you want, in a way that wouldn't make it sound so grotesque (if you don't want to talk about the blood falling out and etc.). Oh, and and when they speak in dialogue like this, it should have a comma after it ends the speaking (if it's a statement): "Greg," Arlene said. Instead of a period like: "Greg." Arlene said. And some of the sentences are a bit off, like this run-on: Arlene grinned." No court eh, well thats good i don't wanna suffer with a dull room, and i'm glad I hurt my brothers, they deserved it." She yelled. Should be: Arlene grinned. "No court, eh? Well that's good. I don't wanna suffer with a dull room, and I'm glad that I hurt my brothers, they deserved it!" she yelled. (notice how 'she' was lowercased afterwards) Also, when you say "ashed," I think you might've meant to say "into ashes"...although you repeat some of the words quite a bit too much...like you need to have more variety of words, such as: Greg smiled and faced the knife to his heart. *Shing* The blade was within his chest, a crimson liquid spurting out from his wound, dripping down across his his body, as he coughed out more blood. Actually, I would've replaced the "*shing*" with "In a moment, the blade was within his chest..." Although the sound effects are fine, as that's just my opinion, but I won't complain much about it. But like, when you say "Drip. Drip. Drip." You might wanna replace it with a simile, such as "Tears rushed down from Arlene's eyes, dripping down onto the floor like rain." Similes and metaphors help give the story better imagery if used correctly. Also, I find it strange how the first chapter starts out in first-person, but then switches to third-person, which has bits and pieces of a first-person point of view every once in a while (by accident I presume?). If it was just the prologue in first-person, while the chapters within itself were third-person, it'd be fine, but you didn't make the story that way...although it's easily changable if you so wish it. Anyway, I really loved the originiality of the idea, exploring the concept of Larxene's life as a Somebody, and how intense the story became. Keep up the good work, and keep improving! :)
Sure i'll try and remember what you said:) and write the next chapter in a good grammer way:) thanks for the tips and helpers:DGlad you liked it:D Here is Chapter 4:D I had enough time do this chapter because I finished my homework:D I'm glad my dad helped:D Anyways hope this is good! Arlene was laying on the hard concrete bed facing the wall. Her eyes were half asleep, she was tired. All she could think about was what she had done. Why did I stab my brothers? How could I go to jail? 10 years, that's long! Arlene was getting sleepy, she wanted to forget the things in her mind and start fresh after her sleep. Slowly her eyes closed it was getting blurry and darker.Her eyes completely shut,all dark in her eyes now, nothing to see. ~Dream~ Arlene was playing hop-skotch in the front of her house. Her parents were happily watching her, while have a cup of lemonade juice. Arlene giggled and looked at her parents,smiling. Suddenly ashes came and they started to fade. From a smile, it went to a frown. "Mommy? Daddy? We're are you?" Arlene cried. All of a sudden the world turned dark, black things with antenna's came out from the ground. Many of them came, Arlene gasped and ran towards her house, but before she could make it her house faded away. She looked around her and saw the black antenna's coming for her. The jumped onto her. Arlene struggled through them but couldn't. "Leave Arlene alone!" A voice came. Arlene tried to see who said that but couldn't. The figure came closer holder an electric knife in his hand. "Fools! Don't you understand? I said leave Arlene alone!" He yelled. The figure jumped towards the black antenna's and sliced them in half. They faded. A heart came out of them and floated into the sky dissapearing. "You okay?" The figure asked. Arlene nodded and stood up looking at the figure. "Who are you? Where did you come from?" Arlene questioned. The figure looked away to the dark sky. "That doesn't matter," he responded." These heartless's are all over the world lurking in, spreading the darkness all over. Come, follow me." The figure said. He ran, and Arlene followed. "Where are we going?" "Somewhere safe." ~End Dream~ Arlene's eye opened fast. She slowly sat up and rubbed her eyes. "Was that...real," Arlene stood up and walked to the cell putting her hands on the bars. She heard humming and chain banging together. She then realized it was a police officer. "You need to change," The police officer said, walking towards her cell. "How?" Arlene asked. The police officer took out one key and pressed it in the key hole, turning it. The lock opened, slowly he opened it and took the handcuffs out. "Turn around please," he commanded. Arlene turned around and felt the hand cuffs going on her wrist. "Come on," police turned around and took Arlene's arm escorting her to the washroom. As they arrived she was pushed in. Clothes were thrown at her in her face, "Un-cuff me," Arlene said. The police officer came towards her and un-cuffed her closing the door. Arlene looked at the 'jail' uniform. It was alll covered in navy blue and it had her name on the name tag. These clothes are big!Also, this what you call 'jail' uniform is hideous! Better stop complaing and put them on, Arlene thought. She put on the uniform and walked out the washroom. The police officer was waiting there, he took her hands behind her back and cuffed her up again. "Mister? I got something to say," Arlene said looking around. The police officer nodded,giving her a chance to say something. "These 'jail' uniforms are big and they suck and so do you.'' she said. The police officer took a deep breath and said " I'll take that as a compliment." Arlene grinned and looked at the other cells, not many people in there. She then was un-cuffed again and pushed into her cell. "That wasn't nice," she muttered. She then looked straight to the number 11 cell and saw a kid sitting there drawing. He had pink hair but abit dark. Whos that kid? "Hey you, kid with dark pinkish hair, what's your name?" Arlene asked. The dark pinkished hair boy turned his head to Arlene and looked back at his paper. "Lamurai,'' he said. "What's yours?" He asked back. "Arlene." "How long you staying here?" Arlene asked once another question. "10 years, i'm 11 years old, so i'll be out here in the age of 21." Lamurai said. "Oh, i'm 8 years old, going to be in here for 10 years also so i'll be 18 by then." Arlene said. To be contiuned... Please comment and hoped u enjoyed it:D
Very good, could be a bit more detailed, but it still keeps me interested. Color of text also hurts my eyes.
Ok here is the next chapter of The Story of Arlene....:) Arlene looked at Lamurai drawing. "Whatcha drawing?" she asked. Lamurai looked at her and look back down to his paper. "Nothing important...just a flower..." he responded back. Arlene sighed and layed on the concrete floor. "I'm bored." she said, laying there frozen. Lamurai looked at Arlene and took a piece of paper, crumbling it up. "Catch." he threw it to Arlene. Arlene caught it and un crumbled it. It was all crumbled up from each and every corner. "What's the paper for?" Arlene asked. "For you to draw on. Here." Lamurai rolled a black crayon over to Arlene's cell. "Thanks," she winked and took the black crayon and began to colour. "So Lamurai...how'd you get in here?" Arlene asked. "I got in here by stabbing my step mom in the stomach...she got me so mad.." Lamurai closed his fist shut. " She kept pushing me around so much...I just had to..." he said. Arlene frowned and began to draw her 'brother'. "I stabbed my three brothers, from anger and hate... they kept on bullying me so much." Lamurai looked to Arlene and gave a sly smile. "We're equal." he had finally said. Arlene looked up and gave a sly smile. "I don't know why but you make me feel..happy for some..reason." Arlene said. Lamuria chuckled alittle. "Maybe it's destiny....I dunno or maybe we were meant to be friends." he said. "Why don't we be friends?" Arlene asked. "Sure...best friends of all!Hahaha!" ******************** All day Lamurai and Arlene were talking about stuff and stuff. They both laughed together, during lunch time they'd eat together, still talking about stuff! Guess they were best friends. ~During Lunch Time! "Food's nasty.." Larmurai mumbled. "I know, and that's the fourth time you said that!" she laughed. "I like you." Lamurai said, changing the subject. Arlene looked down and saw Lamurai's hand on top of hers. She blushed hiding her face away. "When we get out of here we'll be free and we have anything to do!" Lamurai cheerfully said. "Yeah we can, because I don't think my family won't care any more!" Arlene said. Lamuria chuckled and took his hand off her hand. "Let's eat..." "Sure." ~Night~ "Night Lamie boy!" Arlene laughed. "Don't call me that!Arly!" he shot back. "Anyways night." "Night.'' he responded. Arlene had her eyes open she went talking in her head. He's so cool, but I feel awful, never had a friends before...forget that Arlene! Think postive. Anyways he's cool, when I get back I wanna right in my diary and say everything aboout him! I don't know why but I do! It's a thing...private thing. I should shut my eyes and sleep and stop thinking about him! Tomorrow i'll see him! To be Continued Sorry if it was sooo short:( I couldn't think and I had to get off!:( i'll write the next chapter in the next few days or so Anyways hoped you liked it and please comment if you'd like:D
