The perfect crime?

Discussion in 'The Spam Zone' started by Makaze, Sep 26, 2014.

  1. Makaze Some kind of mercenary

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    Need ideas.
     
  2. 61 No. B

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    littering
     
  3. . : tale_wind Ice to see you!

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    Go to Disney.com without your parents' permission.
     
  4. cstar stay away from my waifu

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    rip the tag off a mattress and don't eat the tag

    ...what? it says "don't rip off tag unless by consumer"
     
  5. burnitup Still the Best 1973

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    You are going to need rubber gloves, shoes you would be alright throwing away afterwards so cops won't link it back to you, buy the supplies you need at separate stores (preferably with cash), be sure to wait at least four week minimum after getting supplies before committing the crime. Now, go into a restaurant, and pay without tipping!
     
  6. The Fuk? Dead

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    Watch American Hustle.
     
  7. Makaze Some kind of mercenary

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    Count cards in Blackjack.
     
  8. Patman Bof

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    Toy with people's faith.
     
  9. Boy Wonder Dark Phoenix in Training

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    Work for Wall Street.
     
  10. Makaze Some kind of mercenary

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    Wearing a badge lets you get away with murder but being on Wall Street pays better. Hmm.
     
  11. Boy Wonder Dark Phoenix in Training

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    The idea of you doing either fascinates and amuses me.
     
  12. Makaze Some kind of mercenary

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    I'm not admitting to anything.
    What are you imagining?
     
  13. Boy Wonder Dark Phoenix in Training

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    You as a cop, enforcing laws and abusing your power to harm others.
    or
    You in a suit, stealing money without any regard for those below you and simply buying your way out of jailtime.
     
  14. Makaze Some kind of mercenary

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    Doesn't sound very amusing to me!
     
  15. Llave Superless Moderator

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    Congressman
     
  16. KeybladeSpirit [ENvTuber] [pngTuber]

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    I can't know for sure, but mall bombing sounds like it would be ridiculously easy to do with out getting caught. I won't go into it here because I don't feel like having government people question me at this late hour, but I think you could figure it out on your own. Needless to say, I avoid malls whenever I can.

    Also, murder can be gotten away with easily as long as you don't half ass it. First, make sure it's somebody that you have absolutely no prior connection to. No connection=no motive. Also make sure that you're wearing cotton gloves the whole time. Don't use a gun; those can traced. After you do the deed in a private place on a hard, nonstaining surface, the first thing you need to do is clean up all the spilled blood and then drain all the bodily fluids you can from the body. Keep those bodily fluids in plastic Ziplock bags, freeze them, and go swimming in a murky lake with the frozen bags in your swimsuit pockets so you can dispose of the fluids without attracting attention. Make sure to weigh down each frozen lump so it'll sink to bottom while it's melting. While you're waiting for the fluids to freeze, cut the body into small, manageable chunks and tie each of them up in a black plastic bag. That alone won't keep dogs from sniffing it out, so first find a dead cat, dig a shallow grave for it, and then keep digging for a few more feet and bury the pieces there. Put the pieces in the bottom, fill it in enough to leave room for the cat, then bury the cat. This way the dog will sniff out the dead body, but the police will move on when they dig because they'll think it's just the cat. Boom. You've just gotten away with murder.

    Another one that serves a functional purpose is mug baiting. Get a few friends, stand somewhere late at night, and wait for someone to try to mug you. Once the mugger's in place, signal your friends to jump out of hiding, attack, and take everything the mugger has.

    These are the things I think about when I'm riding home late at night and afraid for my life, chastity, and finances.
     
  17. Hayabusa Venomous

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    Calling your game a "10 year platform," putting minimal effort into the writing or design of the campaign complete with a entirely randomized loot system and zero variation in enemy design outside of visuals, an unbalanced multiplayer system, taking bad parts of MMORPG's (grinding, monotonous missions, lack of proper storytelling) and skimping on the good parts (customization,) and then selling all of this for $60.
     
  18. Jube Formerly Chuck's

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    THE POISON WAS IN THE FIRE
    EXTINGUISHER
    YOU WERE THE KILLER AND YOU DIDN'T EVEN KNOW IT
     
  19. DigitalAtlas Don't wake me from the dream.

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    I always love when I find the definitive thread winner. I get to leave without needing to scroll or invest any more
     
  20. Splodge Twilight Town Denizen

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    Blow a raspberry at an officer.