A story about a girl and a boy come to life a girl name Lilly and a boy name Dustin they both had the Keyblade but one was dark and one was light they were denistney to meet. Along the way they meet some new friends, Anna she is nice but can be rude at time to time,Lee he was born in new york but moved to Hollow bastion. He can fight but not that good,And Sora not Sora Sora he still a nice guy but a bit of a lady man so he a a@@ hole.Lee did't like Sora that much they fight alot in school. Anna live'd in Hollow bastion with Sora and Lee they went to the same school.The school of keyblades it was a school for kids with magic powers,and the Keyblade masters. The teacher are mean they did't like kids at all. Sorry if i did't spell Dustin right and when i say come to life i just was thinking it will be more awsome if i say that lol.This is just the into of the story. this is just the into i know it sucks any thing i did''t do right tell me and i'll fix it:type: or i'll just kill u:guns: lol jk jk
alright, interesting idea. i do like the idea for a school for magic and Keyblades. you definitely need to use spell check, for instance, its spelt 'destiny' not 'denistney'. punctuation needs work too. you have a lot of run on sentences. you might also want to change Soras name. it could get confusing for readers to see their favorite Keyblade wielder flirting with 3 ladies at once. also, not all ladies men are @s$es. watch Inuyasha sometime. i have a question: why do the teachers hate their students? beyond that, i am really interested in seeing how this is going to go. dont forget to double space your paragraphs for easy reading. i suggest reading other fanfics, like Destiny Unlocked or The Flurry if you dont know what im talking about. ...actually, read them anyways. theyre very good. you did spell Dustin right btw. ^-^
I like the idea of combining real life settings with Kingdom Hearts elements. Make sure when you finally decide to type this up you use proper spelling and grammar because otherwise it becomes a pain in the butt for your audience to read and they will focus more on silly mistakes as opposed to your story which you want to be drawing attention to. Type out the entire thing first and then post it here so people can give you more feedback and be more clear in the direction you are headed with this.
Ok soooooo sorry it took so long i been to lazy to do anything and my family not so good ok so here it is the new ending hehe enjoy read. Lilly woke up in her bed and smiled.First day of school. said Lilly as she got up to get ready for school. Dustin woke up in his sleeping bag.Oh crap! Said Dustin as he look at his watch.Im late for school! Yelld Dustin as he got up and got ready for school. The first day Lilly"This is going to be awsome!!! -walks to class room-Um hello? Is this math class?" Anna turn to Lilly.Oh you must be the new bee welcome to key powers high said Anna happly I'm anna my friends call me Blade and Sora calls me alex haha what your name? Lilly who sora?.Said Lilly Who Sora!! Yell lee Only the most A-.Lee said befor he got cut off. Anna"LEE! Sorry him and Sora don't like each ummm Sora is a nice guy once u get to know him.He sweet funny his eyes are blue very blue" Lee rolld his eyes.Don't mind her.I'm Lee and your the new bee Lilly right? Said Lee. Yes i am nice to meet you siad Lilly as she put her books down. that all i got for now sorry.If i did't spell anything right tell me and i'll fix it :type:Thank you
ok, there was alot here that could be worked with. i cant point out every little detail, so im just going to edit this right here. Spoiler all my edits are in red. try making the chapters longer, and use a word processor when you're typing doing rough drafts. they really help with sentence structure. use quotation marks ("...") when people are talking. or, if youre french, use french quotes (<<...>>). dont forget to double space paragraphs, spellcheck, etc.
