went on a hunt through my notebook tonight, and typed up a short one I did on september 1st at 2:44AM after 46 plays of the song "the invisible gardener" by bright eyes. the poem is mostly inspired by the song, which has no lyrics, but still manages to have an emotional effect on the listener. and so it goes: the invisible gardener plucks all the weeds, but never his face do we see. like the lyric less song that gives us it all upon which these words will be scrawled it's not ever spelled out, but meaning it is never without the invisible gardener who plucks the weeds his face is still hidden behind the trees the feeling just won't go away oh this mystery isn't just a fleeting breeze
well....i like your use of words. and how you use words like these: instead of going "it's never without its meaning." it is good.
I sorta like the feel of this but I do not have any love for the following line "it's not ever spelled out," it really sounds awful to me. I'm not sure if it's the contraction use or if it's the choice of words, but it screws up the flow in my opinion. Overall I still like this pretty well, you know as much as one can like poetry.
