The Internet Diffential and Restriction

Trogdor, you frickin' inspire me. In which, creates this thread.

Alright, so a lot of people talk about how people may or may not admit to their social lifes being either abysmal, or plain outragous. And why they admit it only over the Internet, and many other secrets across the virtual audience. And the answers should be ... only minimally obvious. Here, I will be explaining my opinion on it, while also asking you at KHV, what you think about it.

The Differential

People across the Internet love to talk about themselves across the Internet. In fact, they tell hidden, dirty little secrets that they wouldn't dare to in real life. Reason why? Well, that's simple, after being one to have to vent this out multiple times, and help people vent it out. The reason why could be differential, as I've said previously in Trogdor's topic.

It depends on the background of this character. And you can all agree that sometimes, when this person admits to you that they are indeed admitting something to you that they haven't in real life, you want to drill into their minds and realize as to why. Some obvious explanations could be that they have had been bullied or otherwise traumitized in their real life. Occasionally, PTSD or child abuse. Or possibly, family abandonment.

Or, as abundant as it is, it could be because they trust you enough to actually let it escape their lips. And possibly, because they couldn't trust anybody in real life enough. And then you ask yourself, why that? Well, the minimal amount of real life trust, could be due to their trust being broken badly. Or heartbrokeness. Either way, it is pretty dramatic, and I can assure you, it will leave you depressed.

And you see, I bet these people who want to let it out get even more mad when this forum or website restricts you from going beyond the bar. Which, brings up my next subject.

The Restriction

You see, it's obvious that some websites want to maintain an image and prevent it from going crazy. And, as always, that gets loop-hole'd. But anyways, this kind of pisses me off that some websites don't acknowledged that people want to vent, and when they do, they get their post deleted or otherwise blocked. And in a case of a previous website, the admins tell you to keep it to yourself. And maybe these admins might be ****s enough to say that nobody cares.

Apparently, these admins don't have friends. But anyways, it kind of makes me mad where sometimes they say they hate being strict, but the website itself is terribly strict. For their own self being. Go figure for selfishness. Besides that, this whole restriction thing is bullcrap, and personally, I think it should be rid of. Bet you are asking yourself "but the website will go crazy". Well, tweak the system a bit and keep a good eye out, y'know.

_______________________

So, there you had it, my ever so odd rant on only two of the Internet's cons.

Now, it's your turn to tell me, what's your opinion on the virtual audience's obligation to keep things under strict rules and restrictions?

And also, your opinion on members of these said forums, who are restricted to talk like they should, and are censored and have their posts deleted for doing so.

 

One of the reasons why we have a Help with Life section. This site is quite tolerant when it comes to ventin', n' most of the members can relate. Be it that they've gone through similar experiences or are currently in the same situation.

Folk are affraid if they talk to others in real life 'bout issues they may have others may judge 'em, n' it could possible affect their relationship. Were as someone's reply/judgement on the interent really can't affect you. You can't see their reactions to whatever you may have told 'em so that could be a load off if you're afraid of how they may react. Or you could be embarrassed if you start cryin'. Ventin' online can reduce these extra burdens.

There shouldn't be a restiction on expressin' how you feel. It's the interent, you have the right to express yourself. If someone wishes for some support then they should be allowed. I can understand why an admin may feel that it is necessary to be strict on these matters - that some members issues may make other members uncomfortable - but hey, if it makes you uncomfortable you should just leave it. There is no need to make a comment. Personally, i find threads 'bout the death of someone to be uncomfortable on a website, but i never make a comment 'bout that. It wouldn't help the situation. But a member of staff that says you can't vent 'bout this or that is basically sayin' you cant express what you're feelin'.

 

Rules are a necessary evil when communicating to a broad audience. It's shown with things like television broadcasts video games and movies, before every one of those there is a rating that allows one to decide or have the decision made for them whether they can view the content or not. It only follows that the internet would have similar things, however the self contained sites that go on each have their own rules and standards which can cause difficulties at times. What some find acceptable others do not and so filters are implemented. These are really only to prevent people who aren't supposed to see certain things from seeing them, I know I make a lot of sex jokes and references to drugs but that isn't exactly the worst thing you can do. I suppose what I'm attempting to communicate is that in an open forum where anyone can see what is being said it is only prudent to cover yourself and keep allegedly inappropriate or somehow offensive content away from those who it may offend or disconcert. It's a simple matter of making sure no one can blame you for their problems and that nothing too terribly stressful happens for you. That's what rules are basically made to do. I personally don't give half a care about protecting children and the weak minded from the big bad internet, but if it floats someones boat I suppose I can't say they have no right to that.

 

Nice topic. :)

One of the reasons I did fight, along with other people, for having a Help with Life full section instead of just the little thread we used to was because I could see that people do, as you say, need a vent now and then and not just that but some actual help. Also, we have a lot of people that do care to help each other out through their problems and I believe that in helping others, we also learn more about ourselves and can do more to help ourselves not fall too hard when life hits us bad. I am glad really that we all do have a place to come to in order to debate things, discuss latest issues and also get help with life problems etc. A lot of us take it as a great thing because as you mentioned, there are several sites out there that block this sort of thing because it's not 'forum related' and people don't want to deal with the implications of opening up such an area, especially on say a game site. If this section ever was to go bye-bye, there'd be one very sad Repliku.

There are risks to letting places like this whole discussion area exist on a site but I tend to think it is well worth the risks. Of course, someone has to monitor it and make sure things don't get ugly and so these sites that refuse to have areas like this one must take some responsibility. Sometimes it's just easier for them to not allow such places to exist for that reason. It takes a lot of work to keep these areas clean. Not just of topics, mind you, but of actual members of a site who might be really rude or rotten to others. To have an area like this requires that someone or some people rather are there to make sure the areas are used for what they are designed to be used for. We all kind of admit there are jerks out there who will come in and attack others for saying things that are personal views or personal problems. Those are mainly the biggest threats to having an area like this on a site, in my opinion any way. However, with their removal from harming others, I do think that even if we disagree, members are more caring about the topics we all touch on and it makes us not just 2 dimensional.

In real life out there often we all are 2 dimensional to others unless the people are close to us. That's when people can divulge secrets about themselves, worries and joys etc. It's because then people actually care so it's just fine to help friends out etc and get help back. It's also fine to do many activities with friends etc that you wouldn't with an acquaintance because of the closeness factor. On the internet, I believe many of us are more cognitive because well, there's no front necessary to maintain here. We type and if someone wants to judge you, he/she will but you can always find somewhere better if you don't fit in. Also, when it comes to censorship, you can find where you fit in too by exploring around. Some people really do feel that talking about private issues such as religion, politics, feelings etc is faux pas and taboo. If I go to those sites, I follow the rules but also if I want more, I know I can find it. That's a luxury on the internet that in real life takes longer to find than just using a search engine and a few clicks. We can almost always find things easier on the internet and people that are mentally more like us no matter what our demeanors are like. Also, if one site isn't enough, we can be members of several.

It's just easier in some ways to explore your personality online than it is in real life. We get judged no matter what we do but a lot of people fear more doing something wrong in life than online because you can easily walk away from a chat place or forums. In real life we have far more repercussions. This same mode of thought goes into why we have so many idiots too, unfortunately, like script kiddies and people who harass others. They do it because it's easier to get away with. If someone told you in real life you were so many cuss words etc, you might punch them or screw up their lives by telling others what a jerk the person is. Online, people deal with it different since we can't go to their house and smash their computer, though some people really make the thought tempting. So, we get the good and the bad with more freedom of expressing our deeper thoughts and attitudes. In a way, I think it helps people to also deal with real life and tolerance easier as long as they don't allow themselves to just always be caught up with life online so that they are forsaking their lives outside of this world. I see the reasons for sites setting restrictions on some sites but mostly it is out of a desire to either keep a site focused on a genre topic, because some people are too lazy and don't want to deal with troublemakers, and/or because some people feel expression will degrade a site of its purpose and don't really care so much about others. I will continue though to be glad that sites like this one exist where we can do more because we all meet some fascinating people here and the friendships are real, despite what some people say.

 

The reason people are much more eager to share secrets over the internet is because they can remain anonymous. If you tell someone in real life a secret, chances are, it'll spread and turn into a rumor. That's just the way it works with teens. On the internet, no one is going to gossip about it. No one is going to avoid being your friend because, let's say, your dad is an alcoholic, or your mom left you when you were young. In real life, it can be different.

As for the censorship, yes, it can be annoying, but they have to protect the safety of the site. If you had a rant here that was much too mature for this site, it'd be deleted. Such is the way of things in this world. If a TV show is too mature, it won't air, simply to protect the TV for children. On the internet there is more freedom, but this freedom is still restricted depending on the site you go on.

 

oh...perfect....trogdor.....you are one influencial person.


anyways.

to further your convo....lets put ourselves in different situations(im going to use your names as examples)


okay lets say misty...has a very dark secret....and she wont tell her parents...but instead tells it to repliku , whom she's never met in real life.

why couldnt she tell her parents/best friend/relative/ect.?

but tells someone she has not met in real life?

this can be attributed to two things.

new start.....

broken barrier.


now your little homework, is to tell me what these two words mean.

and find an answer with them to the question presented.

 

Chervailer... Why are you now being edited by Repliku?

But anyway.

People find it preferable to reveal secrets on the internet, because there is less effort involved. If I want counseling, I can either go to get help in real life, which would mean that I would have to go through the embarrassment of admitting I need help, not to mention that I would be forced into the help, and I would be unable to back out.
If I were to go to the internet for the help, I would have none of those problems. I can go to the Help with Life section right now, and spill my heart out. I can get help from others, and while the help quality may vary, I will get thoughtful responses from our local Repliku. I will be able to ask for help, and no one will think less of me for it. If I find it is becoming too pressuring, I can just stop replying. No one will force me, and best of all, I can cut my losses and delete the thread.

That is my reasoning for the internet.