The Final Thoughts Of A Dying Man's Mind; or "Lol, you guys I'm so high on aspirin right now"

Preface​

It was a lonely evening for SynK, his mind clouded by the beginning tincture of a headache, he needed something, anything, to quell the storm that would soon besiege his mind. ​

"I think I'll take some aspirin." ​

//He said to his cat, though he felt his words did not affect her, mayhaps because she did not care, mayhaps because she did not hear him, mayhaps because she was a cat and could not understand the complexities of human tongue. However, he knew nobody else would listen, nobody else would care, but most importantly, nobody else was home. He reached for the bottle of generic, over the counter pain killers; acetaminophen, aspirin, and caffiene, a typical elixir used for curing the ails of mild pain.​

"How many should I take?"​

//He wondered to himself, scanning the side of the bottle for directions. ​

"Curse these blasted instructions!" ​

//He exasperatedly proclaimed to nobody in particular. ​

"They always bury the dosage in the middle of a labyrinth of minuscule text , do these fools not realize that the furthest thing from a person's desire, whilst a headache besets them, is to be forced to read text no larger than a louse?!"​

//Frustrated by the complexity of the written word, he at last manages to locate the recommended draugt.​

"A congeries of two, how foreseeable. But alas, the weave of mine mind is that of introversion, how vastly difficile to sedate is the chemistry of my encephalon."​

//He cries out in anguish.​

"Ah, but of great fortuitous happenstance, I have conceived of a remedy for this inevasible quandary."​

//Proclaimed he, filled exuberance.​

"I shall augment the quantities cataloged before me! Oh, joyous fortune! Many men will write verse of this day!"​

//With the voracity of a famished lioness, he cleaved the vial of potion en twixt, exposing the amalgam of medicinal intent.​

"Twice, no, thrice, nay! Six fold, shall I increase the allotment! Forsooth, this shall cure mine ails!"​

//Having the wherewithal to endure such a task set before him, he poured himself a tankard of juice from a native citrus fruit, and ingurgitated the lot in one fell stroke!​

"For the measure of my mettle shall be declared in terms of grandeur from this day, henceforth!"​

//Exclaimeth he, the very vision of a stalwart hero. However, unbeknownst to him, was his downfall to come, soon thereafter.​

"Lol guys, I'm really light-headed." ​

 

tl;dr .

 

TL;DR - I took 12 aspirin and now I think I might be dying.

 

you'll be fine. maybe

 

I'll call an ambulance since you live like 20 minutes from me.

 

Dude. you should take more aspirin to alleviate the high.

 

I like the way you think, my friend

GOOD LUCK FINDING MY ADDRESS

You can probably trace it through like, my facebook or something.

 

It's okay NSync, Jayn and I will read your eulogy. You'll be remembered by one, sole word.​

​

. . . Weebslang.​

​

Carry on, my wayward son.​

 

Will you and Jaynie sing it, Sexyma?

You can change the lyrics to "Every Fight" from the bleach soundtrack.

I'm still trying to make that word catch on.

What would you call Spider-man if he were into animu? A Weebslanger.