The Epic of The Red Moon King

Discussion in 'Archives' started by Sumi, Dec 31, 2008.

  1. Sumi suicidé

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    He sat, transfixed, on his onyx-black throne
    Covered by the blood of the woman his own
    His kingdom knew that all was lost the day he snapped
    When his young daughter died as he laughed
    Every peasant still remembers the light golden hair
    The ringing voice vibrating the air
    Her blue moon eyes as deep as the sea
    The startled face of her husband to be

    But everything changed the night the moon turned bright red
    So many were dead, so much bood was shed
    The king cracked like glass without a reflection
    Cursing the daughter while causing infliction
    The pain like sharp ice shattering her porcelain skin
    The stinging poison, like tiny sewing pins
    And then the blood gushing like a cataract of the nile
    Spilling onto her pearl-white dress as she was thrown into a pile
    Of every dead person, every soldier, every mother
    Every child the king smothered

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    To be continued​
     
  2. Chevalier Crystal Princess

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    Very bloody.

    And good....The Red moon king...is this some sort of bard's tale?

    Cause that's whay it sounds like.
     
  3. Sumi suicidé

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    Sorta. I've decided to write an epic, and the King went crazy on the night of the first red moon.​
     
  4. Jiku Neon Kingdom Keeper

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    First time I've read an epic poem that didn't make me laugh. Take that as you like.
     
  5. MSUK Twilight Town Denizen

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    That was just brilliant.
    ...
    Man. xD
    The similes you've used are extremely strong, bold and very inflictive upon the reader, if I do say myself. I know, Because they certainly inflicted me. xD
    I got an image out of the way you described both the king, and the destruction around him that he spontaneously caused. And you know that's a good sign that you're on the completely right path.
    I do look forward to the continuation of this. :33333

     
  6. Sumi suicidé

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    Arigatou Gozaimasu, Mina-san!​
     
  7. Sumi suicidé

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    pt. 2

    Every man is paranoid, women scream at his name
    Children run and hide from the horrid Red Moon King
    Peasants call for help, afraid for their life
    Shopkeepers lock away theirs when they remember his wife
    Even the bavest wake up at shrill screams
    Remembering the dreaded night in their dreams
    ~~~~
    sorry it's so dang short- more coming asap​