Author’s Notes:: This was an assignment from my Science Fiction class. It was to create and design a fictional city and to describe it using lots of imagery. So, that was the reason why I wrote this, and now posting it here for the lulz~. Enjoy. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- --The City of Gods-- Orion only existed to some as a myth, but those who had actually witnessed the resplendence of the city knew well that it was far from the grasps of mythology...It was but a city of magnificence and wonder—at the same time, so unrealistic and otherworldly, that the city constantly fell in and out of the beckoning arms of the same myth, for the same people who already did believe in the city. The city was named after the constellation Orion—the bright hunter in the sky from Greek mythology—for the city was only visible during the nights of winter, when Orion (the constellation) was its brightest and the moon was at its full circumference, completely submerged in its radiance, shining its silver glory upon Orion, the city of glass. Ergo, the city was visible only twice a year, during the nights of full moon in January and December. At dusk, once the sun would take its leave, the city would slowly ascend with the moon, as the emerging moon’s luster illuminated the brilliant architecture of the city, with the great hunter glittering in the sky, the glass architectures magnifying the constellation. The movement of the two bodies and the constellation were synchronized to such intensity, that when the city made its ascent to the sky, it was as if the four outer stars of the hunter were the supporting points that held the city in its place in the sky. Streaming clouds constantly surrounded the city, as if a secret force from within the core of the city pulled them closer to itself, trying to conceal its alluring structures. The tall glass pillars outside of the city marked its perimeter cutting the streaming clouds as they caressed past Orion’s castle-like superstructures. The fine twists and curves of the pillars and buildings bent the light of the moon, sending the silver radiance in a desultory manner until the light dispersed beyond the city’s perimeter—often making Orion seem like a floating diamond in the sky. There was a strange energy that surrounded Orion, keeping oxygenated air within the city’s periphery [it was perhaps the same energy that kept Orion afloat in the sky], making the place habitable. Yet…the city was deserted. It was fear in the hearts of people that kept them out of Orion, for no one knew where the city disappeared to when the aura of silver light dimmed from the city and the moon once again hid its face in the splendor of dawn. All probes sent into Orion had simply vanished from existence whence the light of dawn stroked the crystals; ergo it was understood that further explorations of the city limits had to be done within the same night, before the city disappeared into darkness once again—out of existence. With that knowledge, the latter probes sent in to explore Orion brought back spectacular photographs and few live images of Orion, capturing the brilliance of the intricate architecture, the spiraling streets glittering with silver light as they all slowly made their ascent to the buildings’ heights, and the many crystal trees and gardens carved with acute details. Nevertheless, the full potential of the city was still ineffable unless witnessed personally, and only two such reports existed. Sand, what closely resembled space dust, covered the grounds until the perimeter of Orion, where the city's limits began, and beyond the perimeter, the ground and its streets were layed with smooth crystals resembling the image of marble tiles and bricks, and the sand glistened like little diamonds underneath. There were five streets that acted as the main arteries of the city, and the rest of the smaller streets branching out into the depths of the city like veins, making waves and spirals leading to the many different parts of Orion. The glass of the streets were made with the sand found outside of the city, for the tiny grains were visible through the crystal structures. If examined closely, even the grains of sand had its own unique features and colors, like little marbles or like that of the rare, and colorful crystals found in the core of the Earth's heart. Orion did not lack color, which was another intriguingly strange feature of the city. The intricately cut trees that did exist on this translucent paradise were of color, the leaves giving a slight hint of green stain glass and the body of the trees a slight brown. The cool surface of the tree trunks were carved with much care and accuracy, made to resemble a real tree's bark with unique cracks and crevices. The leaves too retained the hints of the veins that were suppose to supply and replenish them with nutrients. Fine, prickly grass covered the garden floor, sharp—almost like jagged shards of glass, again finely made, intricately carved with care and preciseness. The flowers in the gardens also were of variety of colors, some with amazing mixtures of colors mingling with one another like they do in nature. The buildings of Orion were of great heights, reaching for the starts above. It was curious to see the very fine curves and twists of the buildings—each building was of a different design—as if it were all a crystal mountain to begin with, later being carved and shaped into resembling the building it was now. Though all structures were absolutely, incredibly breathtaking, the one superstructure located at the very center of Orion was the most impressive. Its location perfectly in sync with the hunter's belt in the sky, with three large pillars pointing to the stars. This particular superstructure was a castle, both amazing in its height and diameter. The pathways of the castle bent and curved, spiraling its way up and down the castle, affectionately surrounding it like a silk ribbon, caressing the cold crystal walls. From afar, the walls seemed empty but its walls were in fact decorated with fine designs of the plants and stars, of the moon and the sun and all the wonders that lay beyond our planet's atmosphere. Each of the designs on the walls of the castle radiated the luster falling upon the structure, immediately reflecting it back unto the city. The radiance of the castle made it seem like as if it was the source of the light present in the city, as well as making it seem like the center of all versions of a paradise. The sheer glow and elegance of the castle had the power to leave anyone in a dumbfounded awe. The view of the night sky from the city's streets was spectacular, with Orion, the hunter, shining brightly in the sky as well as the rest of the zodiacs smiling down upon Orion. The view of our planet from the city was also astonishing, capturing our vast planet for miles and miles, seeing the flickering lights of the distant cities and the tiny lights of cars moving across the freeways. It was easy for anyone to step into Orion and immediately disregard everything else surrounding them, completely losing themselves on either the awesome city and its wonders, or the view beyond the city’s limits. Though it was easy to disregard everything when in Orion, the chilling winds of the night were enough to snap anyone out of that trance. Orion was indeed a cold place, for the crystals lacked the ability to trap heat (was that the reason the inhabitants of Orion had abandoned the city?). The crystals often seemed like ice to the touch, for the winds chilled the mild humidity that was always present in the city due to the clouds. However, for whatever inexplicable reason, the city lacked rain or snow, even in the coldest of temperatures. The winds that came across the city also brought about a sweet sound that rang all across Orion, almost like that of wind chimes. The glass leaves hitting one another began a soothing symphony of chimes that echoed across Orion. Even the howls of the winds added to the orchestra of the sound. The clouds cutting across the city acted like fog, swirling and dancing to the chimes until the winds had left, only to bring about another gust of wind, and another round of music. Who knew what treasures lay beyond the doors of that castle, or any other building for that matter, for all the doors were shut tight, and none had the audacity to try and break the fragile crystal doors of such an amazing, striking place. Orion was too beautiful, too uniquely breathtaking to destroy, even for the sake of curiosity. Thus, the secrets of Orion remained hidden, until perhaps the city itself regarded us as worthy of its truth and secrets. To men, women and child alike, Orion was like that of a fairy tale, and even those who were lucky enough to step foot into the city also thought it to be a dream. The existence of such a city was beyond words. When and where did Orion come from? Who built this splendid city, and who were the beings who called that breathtakingly beautiful city their home? Was this the so called paradise the ancient civilizations had talked about when they said, "The Gods live in a castle in the sky"? If so…then where were the Gods now? --THE END--
This is interesting and very well written. I think that you should try to decorate your narrative with different words, stronger ones that can keep up with the magnificence that is the place described. I think overall, the paragraphs could use less lavish, but stronger one. As I said, it's written very nicely, but at some point, some sentences seemed stretched farther than they should because of the lavish prose woven into it.
This is pretty much a perfect description of what you have here. It's a description, nothing more and certainly nothing less. At the end though, it's "men, women, children", not "men, women, child." You have to keep your nouns agreeing with each other so they don't fight. Nothing bad to say here.
