Alrite, so this takes place around 10 years after KH2. Things get a little industialized as seen through the worlds and such. And as always, I'm making it up as I go so... P.S: PLEASE DON ASK ABOUT HOW THINGS GOT TO BE LIKE THIS! Chapter 1-Dark Rain: The last of their kind... The clouds loomed over the everlasting darkness, covering the ruined buildings in complete darkness. Minimal light could be seen through the alleyway corner as a mysterious figure walked towards the rays. Water splashed with every footstep, soaking his shoes as the went along. He turned his head in several directions, examining the ruins of what used to be tall skyscrapers. Metal wires and other materials were piled upon each other in a rubble heap. The person climbed over the pile as a shortcut towards his destination. Upon turning from the next corner, he was there. *What Happened?* He raised his head and saw a devastating sight. The tallest skyscraper in the vicinity laid in ruins. Large steel pipes which once supported the building stuck out at the sides. Piles and piles of concrete descended towards the ground, breaking everything below it. Everything surrounding the remains of ths skyscraper also were in worst conditions. He noticed something peculiar in the middle and approached it. *The Organization* He grabbed onto the robe that flew in the air, impaled with a staff. "Your finally here." spoke a voice from behind. He looked behind and saw a figure identical to himself. "I didn't think you'd come back." "Oh, it's you. I just wanted to see how things went after all this time." "This is your answer." "So it looks like the Organization really is dead." The second person remained motionless for a second. "Unless you consider yourself as one again." "Same goes for you, Xoldcu." "Hmm..." Xoldcu walked towards a pile of rubble and sat on it. The other followed. "Did you picture things this way Kirux?" "Not exactly. I expected the end of the Organization, but not like this." "And more than just that." Xoldcu added. "What do you mean?" Kirux asked. Xoldcu pointed towards the North-East direction. Kirux turned his head as the raindrops fell onto his face. "Notice anything?" It struck Kirux. "Kingdom Hearts-" "Yea, it's gone. Now try focusing your power. Open a portal." Kirux stuck his right hand out. Nothing happened. "What's going on?" "All darkness has ran dry a couple of minutes ago. Us coming here was the last time we could open a dark portal." "Wait, so if there's no darkness, then..." "Yea, their's no heartless. And without them, there's no nobodies." "So you and me are the only surviving species of that kind." "Yea." The two remained seated, listening the the plattering of rain. For minutes, the only sounds were echos of falling rubble and splashing. "So...what are you gona do?" Kirux broke the silence. "Heh...I thought for a long time. But I've gone back to my first intention. I'm gona go search for a way...to get a heart." "Hmm...you read my mind. How should we do that. There's no heartless, there's no captive hearts. Without them, we can't bring back another kingdom hearts." Xoldku grinned smugly. "Do you remember what Xemnas once said around the beginning of the Organization. When we were one of the first members?" Kirux perked up his head. A memory went through his mind. "The Blade of Fallen Souls..." "Yea, a legenary blade stained by the blood of many fallen keyblade warriors. All we know so far is that it's been a part of history for a long time, although it's current location seems to be unknown. But since it had been associated with keyblades, it should be able to give nobodies a perfect heart." "Now I remember, we didn't go for it because creating a Kingdom Hearts from heartless was a much faster method." "Yea, but now we have no choice. It's either that, or we continue without a purpose and eventually fade to complete nothingness." "So...where should be start?" Xoldcu thought for a while. "I wonder if we can still use it?" "What?" "That secret routeway...to twilight town." "Twilight Town? What do you hope to accomplish there?" "Dunno, but probably more than just sitting here." "Rite. Now let see...there was a secret pathway to that place." "Yea, it was deep underground, a hidden floor beneath the castle basement." Kirux looked towards the North-Eastern alleyway."That must be where the castle used to be." "Yea, that tall building must've been where Memory Skyscraper used to be." "Rite...let's go." Kirux stood up first and made his way towards the path. Xoldcu followed from behind. Within seconds, the two had sinked into the dark abyss of the cold night as the rain turned into a thunderstorm with black lightning... (End of Chapter 1) Alrite, hopefully I'll get chapter 2 up soon. Plz tell me how it is. I no my writing isn't the best so I'd like so suggestions. (it's hard thinking of ideas from the top of ur head at 1 in the morning)
Alright, well, you've got a good story going here, but even though you told not to ask this, You really should give some background knowledge as to how it got that why. When did Riku and Cloud become nobodies and join the organization? What happened to Sora and Kairi? Why is TWTNW is ruins? I know you said not to ask, but you also asked for suggestions, and to make a good story, you need to know what happened before the events of the story to make sense of what the story is. (It would be like watching Advent Children without playing FFVII. You just wouldn't get it.) Maybe a little grammar and spelling mistakes here and there as well, but other than that, it's a great concept, I'd like to see it continue.
OUCH, u read my mind with the whole Riku and Cloud thing... Well, I plan some insights on how TWTNW became ruined in future chapters. Also, u'll see all the main characters play an important role soon enough. Plus, I wrote this thing at 1 in the morning and finished by 2 something so I didn't even know what I was talking about half of the time...or how I should phrase things and etc... My biggest concern was question regarding the topic "how did the heartless disappear and stuff" but from what I can see so far, everything should b explained later in the story. (at least I hope so...)
Alright, I love how you began; not many grammar mistakes and the detail was put into thought to keep the reader interested. But then you went into script form somewhat, only dialogue and barely detail for the characters for the reader to really form a picture in their minds. In all, I say that what you're getting at with idea's are good. Keep up, sounds interesting so far.
The fact that it was supposedly written at 1 in the morning is not an excuse, as you could edit it before posting or even if you posted it right then you could edit it to fix the mistakes you made while you "Didn't even know what you were talking about." Anyway, as far as the whole Riku/Cloud thing, I've read so many fanfics concerning the organization with new characters that I'm practically trained to unscramble any name with an X with it and try to figure out what it originally was. Considering the fact that this is a Kingdom Hearts forum, I doubt you'd have fooled anyone for long. I take your word for it, however, that there are plot reasons that you are not revealing the many questions you brought up, and will wait for you to continue to make any further judgment.
Yea, I guess ur rite with the whole "1 in the morning talk" (provided that I have the time to edit the story at all. Heck, I barely even have enough time to go on the forums. Stupid advance classes and after school activities. The only reason why I seem to be on everyday is 1) I use it during school which isn't very fast so I can't make a lotta progress 2) This is my homepage for my home computer) Seems like a pretty reasonable standpoint that you would understand the whole Riku and Cloud thing based on wat u said. And I hope to upload the next chapter by this weekend or so. Rite now I'm trying to calm my depressed mind because of the homework and activities I have to do today: aka my birthday. (I did homework from 3-7, then I gota do hella theory studies for piano and stuff which takes me about an hour or 2 a day. My schedule's really crammed so I don even have anytime to take a deep breath, especially on a particularly important date for me...)
