The advent of apocalypse...

...has STILL not arrived. I've been waiting since the beginning of the Quaternary Period. Please hurry up. I want to see the world turn into a giant fireball possibly because of my own actions.

Love,
The Human Race.

 

Dear Human Race,

I have been working very hard to bring about doomsday by Christmas. I know all the little boys and girls have been very good this year and would just love it. I promise I'll be working nonstop until then.

Love,
The Advent of the Apocalypse

 

http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=7nFlEvXtuSo


They have arrived! 8D

 

Dear Mr. The Apocalypse

I am a greedy, self-centered person, who only thinks about myself. So I say, HURRY UP DAMN YOU! My toys have polluted the world enough that you should have destroyed this place by the end of the 20th century! Stop slacking!

Your somewhat-angry friend,
The Human Race

 

Dear Mr. Apocalypse,

Get this sh*t done before we cut off your resources and pay.

Signed,
The Government

 

Dear Human Race,

GTFO. I'm done.

Pissed,
The Advent of the Apocalypse

Dear Mr. President,

Yes, sir. Right away.

Sincerely,
The Advent of the Apocalypse

 

Dear Mr. Apocalypse,

I, as the Government, know of the letters you have sent to the Human Race, and they tell two very different stories. If you do not finish this then we will be forced to have our secret allies take us back to their home planet., stranding you with Mr. Race.

Sincerely,
The Government

 

Dear Santa Clause,

I wish I put the address this time.

For Christmas, I want to have a pony.

And a Doll.

Sincerely,
Kid Hero

P.S.
._.

 

Dear Small Child,

The pony shoots nuclear war heads and the doll is filled with anthrax.

Love,
The Advent of the Apocalypse

Dear Mr. President,

I see. Well rest assure doomsday will come. I give my word.

Sincerely,
The Advent of the Apocalypse

 

Dear Mr. Hero,

Have faith that you will get that doll and pony. And when everything you believe is disproved in a couple weeks, be sure to blame the people around you that you love.

Signed,
The Gov- er, Santa Clause

 

Masturbation.

 

Dear Horny Girl,

lolwut?

Confuzzled,
The Advent of the Apocalypse

 

Dear Minuscule and Meaningless Statistic,

Yes. Do that. Be assured that we are not watching everything you do and that God is completely okay with such a thing. You will NOT go to hell for excessiveness of such.

Signed,
The Government

 

Dear The Advent of the Apocalypse,

Send more souls to burn with me.

Signed,
The Devil.

 

Dear Devil,

You neglected to attend the last senate meeting.

Signed,
The Government

 

Dear The Government,

Why should I have to walk all the way up when you can just come down?

Signed,
The Devil

 

Dear Someone who I don't know,

Wait!

You're not Santa!

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-Hey, a pony!

*gets killed by the pony's nuclear war head*

Sincerely,
Kid Hero

P.S.
._.

 

Dear Kid Hero,

Do you plan on burning with me for all eternity?

Signed,
The Devil

 

Dear Mr. Devil,

Need we remind you that you are under multiple contracts?

Signed,
The Government