I think the title explains itself. What are your thoughts on teenagers getting pregnant? Do you think it's stupid, or do you think they do it when they're ready? Also, I have a reason for posting this thread: Spoiler Alright, so, I will start out by saying I will put only the people's initials here for privacy. If anyone has heard about my family, they will know they're not the most sane people on the planet. About two days ago, I discover my 16-year-old cousin is pregnant, with this status on Facebook: My first reaction: "smh." She goes off at me, saying it's perfectly fine for her to have a kid at the age of sixteen. My other cousin, whom I will call B, has the same opinion about it as I do. He thinks it's stupid. Let me put it this way... I was born on August 16th, 1996. She was born on February 20th, 1995. She's barely a year older than me. Her mother is supportive, which I admire about her, yet I am disappointed in her at the same time. She puts on the impression that this sort of thing is okay. I'm posting this thread to prove a point to my cousin. I hope that doesn't change any thoughts you have on this thread. EDIT: Should have mentioned this originally, but here ist a little bit about the father. He's left her on multiple occasions for what seems like no reason half of the time (he won't state a reason, he refuses to). If he does state a reason, it's something small, like "She forgot what kind of candy I liked." In other words, he's pretty much a jerk. I really don't think it's a good idea for her to be with a man like that, doing this type of thing. He could leave her at any time for no reason to just something as small as accidentally stuttering while speaking. I have a feeling he might be cheating on her, but hey, that's just what I am assuming. I do not know if it is true. I'm sorry if I have put this in the wrong forum. Please move it if you see fit. Thank you.
I don't think it's the WORST thing, but if the teenager can cope with it by some miracle, i think it's fine. If they can handle it financially, if they can handle it while retaining mental stability, i don't see much of a problem with it. Thing is, most CAN'T cope with it, so in most cases i'm against it.
Given the fact that this is for the sake of your cousin reading it, I suppose that I can be frank in the fact that no, it isn't okay. Sixteen year olds don't have enough experience in the world to possibly be able to comprehend what goes into taking care of that baby, let alone the fact that I have my doubts that they'd be able to possibly raise it correctly. Perhaps I am wrong, and she is one of those one of a kind chances that she might be able to handle it. From the way that you put it though, that "I can do this" attitude doesn't sound like it'd be too positive on the child. In the end, if that mother is not willing to recognize that there is something wrong with her having a baby at such a young age, then I feel that that in itself is an answer as to just how much they'll be able to support that child when it comes to raising them. Personally, I feel that in that kind of situation, if a teenager wanted the best for their child, then it should be given up for adoption. After all, it has a much better chance with a financially stable family that has the money to adopt, over a sixteen year old mother. But none the less. To clearly state the answer, I feel that a sixteen year old should not be parenting a baby, because it is a wrong to the child.
Just because someone gets pregnant at the age of 16 doesn't mean their life is doomed. By some idea of taboo having a child at that age instantly makes them irresponsible and selfish 'children' which I don't agree with. I've heard of an equal number of cases of a teenage pregnancy turning out good or bad. The main proponent that causes the worst case scenarios to happen is the fact family and friends reject the person in question for being pregnant at that age. Parents throwing their kids out and disowning them can cause the worst result for mother and child. I won't go against it, I'll only say that it will be a challenge and at times I'm sure they'll be doubt and depression, but perseverance will shape the outcome. Take my advice on this, support your cousin. Whether is smooth and clean or rough and tough do not turn against family who haven't turned against you. MY family on my mother's side broke apart because of what some said about some part of the family, and I never got to see any of my extended family on her side. Your cousins child will be related to you, and that is something you shouldn't reject for the cousins sake, for the child's sake of for yours in the future.
I think that I know a thing or two about teenage pregnancy. I myself have never been pregnant, but I have several cousins, I know several people, go to school with many people who are pregnant. Here's what I say: It's your life. As PaW said, just because a girl got pregnant that young doesn't mean that her life is over. For all you know, maybe this is what she wanted and she actually planned for it. You shouldn't judge people until you know the full extent of the story, and the only place you can get that is from the source itself. (and that ladies and gents was me being a hypocrite for the night) Anyway, support your cousin. The most worse thing you could do to her is turn your back on her, especially if she needs or will need help. I've had numerous acquaintances who I barely know come to me and ask me for help. I'm not going to say no just because I was smarter or made the decision not to get some guy's peewee (lol) stuck in me and then make me a mommy nine months later. If she wants to keep the kid, let her keep the kid, not everyone's the same. It's her life, the most you can do is be there or not, but I'm sure she would really like it.
Well, I suppose I will say it's either a facade that JH is putting on, saying she can handle it just so people don't worry or judge her when really inside she is shaking OR she really believes she can handle it and is being naïve, I don't know how she can understand the requirements of being a mother, even I can't comprehend it. I'm sure that if she reads this then she'll be thinking that we are the ignorant ones but she really and I mean REALLY think this through, the expenses of a child, the 24 hour care, the lack of sleep etc. That is unless she puts the child up for adoption or has an abortion (depending on her views on the matter). As Saxima said, you need to be there for her no matter what, even if you disagree with what she is doing, it's possible that due to hormones and stress she is feeling incapable or worried, maybe alone (depending on where the father is) and all she needs is the support and advise from those people she trusts, people who won't ridicule her or tell her she's an idiot- she may just believe you which wouldn't help. When I see a teenager pregnant I try not to judge because I have no idea what that person has been through, it's possible it could be the aftermath of a rape or an inproper education over the subject or just failed contraception, whatever the case I have no place to judge. It could just be rebelling against parents or conforming with friends or just experimenting, as teenagers our hormones are wild and with the major hype over it in the media people can leave unsatisfied causing them to seek satisfaction. Whatever the reason it's born of ignorance, stupidity or just plain lust and if they want to do it unsafely then they should live with the consequences. Needless to say they should still be helped no matter what, the last thing they need is to be frowned upon. I can't say I agree with it but I'd support them nonetheless, I suppose that maybe I too am naïve and don't understand completely but I am trying to empathise with these teens.
Teenage pregnancy is a result of either stupidity, recklessness or shitty education. Most often all of them. Also, it's not a good idea to raise a child at 16, but it's still possible, as long as there are people (family, mainly) who'll help.
As for the supporting part, yes I am planning to support her. Really I don't like what she's doing because one, she IS a bit young for this. Two, the father is basically a jerk. He's left her on multiple occasions for what seems like no reason most of the time. If he does state a reason, it's for something small, like "She forgot what kind of candy I liked." I really don't think this is a good idea for her, at all. Sorry, I really should have mentioned this in the OP. I'll edit it in there.
I think that teenage pregnancy could be seriously cut down if we just educate kids, from an early age. I'm not saying go into an elementary school classroom and toss out rubbers, but teaching abstinence is no longer practical today. Better to promote abstinence while still teaching kids about safe sex. Anyway, I mean, I could never see myself as a parent at 16. I can barely take care of myself, and I consider myself fairly mature for my age. I have been recently affected by a young pregnancy, my stepsister. She got pregnant when she was 19 (though had the baby when she was 20). Not quite 16 but still not really ideal. I mean, I don't think she regrets it, but she had a lot going for her before. She had a steady job and was, I believe, a manager at the store she worked at. She was going to school. She's not doing any of that anymore. I'm sure that some people who do get pregnant at a young age do still get their life together and are successful, but it's just less likely that you will be stable at that point in your life.
I doubt a whole lot of teenagers are ready for that kind of responsibility. Having a child at such a young age is basically signing off the rest of your life; sad, but hard to argue against. With a responsible father and mother and ample support from both families, it is feasible; strange circumstances under which to be raised, but not much stranger than a single parent raising a child, or something along those lines. My worry is that the teenagers involved are forfeiting a lot of life experiences which could not only enrich their lives, but their children's lives as well, through proper teaching. A lot more goes into raising a young 'un than the bill, sizable though it may be. So, final verdict: Possible. Not entirely unreasonable. But fairly unwise. It's hard enough to raise a kid the standard way. I think the reason it happens is because people underestimate marriage and children; that, and they feel like they're going to be waiting for that for their entire lives, that their life is defined by the wife/husband they take and the family they raise. That kind of thinking is frightening, not to mention self-defeating. Let's get some "Life Experience 101" in there with the sex ed, huh? Either or both would do a world of good.
I'm sort of 50/50 on this. Yes, most sixteen year olds don't know what the hell they're doing. They get pregnant and decide to keep the baby, despite not having finished school, with (possibly) no job and with no support from either their parents and/or the father. I have a friend, she's seventeen and pregnant. However, her parents are supportive and the father, another friend if mine, is genuinely excited about it. He talks about ultrasounds and baby names and cradles with so much excitement. He even gives her back rubs. In this case, even though it is an accidental pregnancy, she seems ready for it. My question for you is, do you think your cousin is ready for this. Obviously, the father will be terrible and possibly leave her, but I'm asking whether she's ready mentally. Is she excited? Good with kids? Will she be a good mother? You have to remember, in the way-back-whens, women had kids when they were 12. Some girls are ready to be mothers early, some aren't. Try to be objective about this.
