Talking to your exes, acceptable or not?

Hating your ex is not the same as being neutral and able to talk to your ex maturely. I don't hate my ex. I can honestly say that I wish the best and happiest for most, if not alll past boyfriends. I just know that I can't have an intelligent, mature conversation with them at this point, from their end. Maybe someday.

 

You just gotta become more mature

Oh the same thing with Saxima. I too had feelings for my ex. Boy was that really making a mess of things in my life. I kind of also might have done the same thing as Saxima in a way too ^^". I mean I still talk to her anytime she swings by to say hey and what not. But you gotta give it sometime before you talk to the other person again. Both parties are hurting so make sure things cool off. And who ever makes the first move then I guess if the other person feels that they are ready to talk to them hey I say go for it.

Oh and sorry to hear about your 2nd ex Bareri-San hope all that foolishness ends soon. And it sucks he treated you that way.

 

I think it is acceptable as long as you are over the person and don't have any feelings for them. I know I am friends with all of my exes and people who I've had "flings" with or whatever. I don't think it's healthy if you still like the person though. If you are friends with someone and you still have feelings for them it can get messy. I know girls who have done that and it just makes it harder to get over the relationship.

 

I think it is hard when the relationship formed after a strong friendship. It just depends on the person and how serious the relationship was.

 

Actually that is how I've seen most likely to turn out well. Though my friends might just be lucky.

 

Well for me it turned out being "I don't want to ruin our friendship." Then we broke up.
Wasn't to happy about it but i still talk to her.

 

My thoughts too. I personally think that if you become friends with someone and THEN date them, if it doesn't work, you have a friendship to fall back on. If you just randomly date someone, you don't know anything about them, really, and it'd be a little awkward.

 

Maybe I am just not very lucky. The way things go with her now is we are friends one minute and then its more than that, then we aren't even friends at all. This happened after we broke up.

 

It's probably just confusing for her. Give it time, and then try and talk about it.

 

In my experience it really just depends on the person. Almost all of my friends have dated one another at one point, yet we're all still great friends.

I agree with Nate on his point, if you've just started dating someone and it doesn't work out, you don't usually remain good friends. On the other hand I was good friends with a girl for over 2 years, we dated for a bit then she broke it off, she basically stopped talking to me and my other friends and just ditched. I don't have any feelings for her anymore, yet if we ever talk she'll try here hardest to flirt and act like everything is fine. So like I said it really just depends on the person.

 

Eight months worth of time.
Figured that would be long enough.

 

Women. Don't even bother trying to comprehend them.

 

I would just prefer our whatever it is we have to not be "bi polar" so to speak.

 

It's hard to judge really, it depends on the relationship- for example, if it was just a small 2 weeks thing then it's fine (most likely because any feelings they had weren't very strong), it also depends on the people. From my experience, I don't talk to my ex because he hurt me rather badly and seeing him just annoys me, I can't stand his presence let alone talk to him. However, if I didn't feel this way, I still wouldn't talk to him because I fear the feelings returning.

I once went out with this guy I didn't really like very much, but he was rather obsessed with me, I talked to him because he was my boyfriend, not because I wanted to but I didn't realise this for a while. After I found out he was a sex obsessed jerk I ended it but if I'm honest I liked the attention he gave me so I kept talking to him. Everytime we talked I knew he would say something nice which made me feel good but I really didn't like him back. For about 2 years this went on, he went out with people but still continued, and then we met up (it was a long distance relationship) at the same festival that we met and then I finally got sick of it. I told him straight how I felt about him and I haven't spoken to him since. In this case, I really shouldn't have carried on, because I was just hurting him for my benefit- how selfish I was. It's been a year and he's moved on and so have I.

So basically, it depends on the individual situation but for the most cases, no it shouldn't be done.

 

What I find is you have to give it time before you can be friends again, because it is possible to talk to your exes, the awkward moments that everyone's talking about depend on the time after the breakup.

Now while I've never been in a relationship, I talk to guys I used to like pretty regularly, admittedly no where near as much as I used to. But we were good friends before, and then after they rejected me, depending on how long I liked them, that's how long it would take for us to have an awkward-less conversation...If that makes any sense what so ever

 

I remember it was about 4-6 months before I started talking to my first ex boyfriend again. It would've been a lot longer (since I have a bad habit of holding grudges against people) but I felt really sorry for him because of how I broke up with him (on Valentine's Day too >__>;).

 

It was probably a week until I talked to my ex again. It was definitely awkward, but after a while it was like old times before we 'liked' each other. It really depends on the persons personality's I guess. I'm not related to other kids at my school, most say it's unacceptable, "He broke my heart, I'll never be the same again!" But they end up always talking again. I believe it's perfectly acceptable [as long as the guy isn't a legitimate jerk or something, because then you have a reason.]

 

I always talk to my exes, but then again, both of us are mature to say "what happend, happend. Theres no 2nd chances." So, I know i'm not making a mistake? :lolface:

 

My first boyfriend stalked me for 6 months after we broke up. We were only together for 3 months. During that time I was scared to answer the phone, open the door... he would just show up at my house randomly. I was quite scared. He called me on my birthday and I told him look please don't contact me anymore and he agreed. He sent me a message saying "I'll leave you alone, we'll be friends" etc. etc. and then 2 minutes later sent a scathing message calling me all sorts of explicits. I never replied and he didn't contact me again. Good times.

Now my second boyfriend and I were together 4 years. We pretty much argued constantly for the last year of our relationship and when it ended it was a relief. I have nothing against him but like Ienzo I get pissed off with me super easy. Just drives me mental. It's weird, I'm happy we aren't together, I've moved on in fact but I have no want or need to be his friend.

 

There shouldn't be anything wrong with talking to an ex if your friends and all and on good terms. Sure there's a past involved, but like said it's in the PAST. You have to move on at some point and let it be water under the bridge. It's not like ex's have to be enemies. (then again, the reason on the break up can have an impact) But still, if your both over it, then why not? Keeping in touch isn't bad.