Suffering

Discussion in 'Archives' started by Laplace, Nov 12, 2007.

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  1. Laplace TSUKI NO SHIHAI

    Joined:
    Apr 1, 2007
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    Male
    Location:
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    I hate my life
    I have to end this now
    My suffering is flawless
    I end this quick and painless

    My rage burns me
    My sadness freezes me
    My heart is broken
    My emotions are destroyed

    Why it has come to this?
    Why it ends like this?
    Why I suffer like this?
    There must be another way, isn´t it?

    The love is a lie
    My hopes are die
    Hapiness doesn´t exists
    It´s all just a dream

    It has to be this way
    There isn´t another path
    My suffer I have to end
    This is the only way

    My life is all suffering
    I have to end this
    I can see my blood
    In the floor falling and flood.


    Nothing bad for 5 minutes or so.
     
  2. .Kairi. Kingdom Keeper

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    Depressing...You really captured the mood well.
     
  3. Laplace TSUKI NO SHIHAI

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    Is because I use my mood to write my poems, that is why I am so good.
     
  4. Mixt The dude that does the thing

    Joined:
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    826
    Very depressing. Hope you’re not actually feeling that.

    You did a nice job of holding a good rhythm and mood. Only a couple of lines that seemed a bit too forced.

    My hopes are die

    and

    In the floor falling and flood.
     
  5. Laplace TSUKI NO SHIHAI

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    Male
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    Yes I feel that and thanks for the comment.
     
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