Student/Teacher Relationships

What are your views on Student/Teacher relationships as both lovers and in a social setting?
Should they be allowed to be together socially/romantically and when is the professional level of the relationship broken? Should it ever be broken?
Is it wrong to have a crush on a teacher because they are authority figures?
Please discuss.

 

You know what I think. :P
-Is interested to see the discussion-

Oh yeah, my views...
By the way, I could be a little biased due to a little situation here.
But anyway.

Fair enough if the guy is old and is only in the teaching profession for the young girls and is a total perv, then he should get done for it. But if the teacher and student are genuinely interested in each other? I don't think anyone else has the right to say what goes on in their relationship...
And regarding the breach of trust and abuse of power rubbish... You have to trust your teachers and they have to trust you, fair enough. But don't you trust your partner in a relationship? So I kinda don't get that bit. And the abuse of power is understandable if the teacher is like the aforementioned and says something like "You won't get an A unless you sleep with me", but otherwise I see nothing wrong with it?
I mean, I can get away with murder in one of my classes whereas others don't, and I'm not seeing the teacher, so it's not like if the teacher and student were together they get certain privileges due to that relationship.

Am I making sense?

 

Yeah.
I agree with you but imagine coming home from school/college and saying to your parents that your new boyfriend/girlfriend is your teacher. People will start to look at both of you the wrong way.
But it is apparently normal for teens to have fantasies about their teachers.

About the social setting, if they were seeing each other socially as friends then I guess it's okay. I've seen my teachers out and about and have talked to them, and you won't get privileges because you socially interact with your teachers, either.

 

.. Hmm.... Toughie....

I think it would be okay to have a crush on the teacher, maybe even if the teacher was young (20-21?) and the student was around 16-17, it might be okay... There wouldn't be much of an age difference too. Or if it was in college then it might work out too... :/8D: I'm trying not to say thats it bad or good really.

 

Yeah that's another thing actually. If the student is young, like 14-15, then I can't really say they're mature enough to deal with an adult relationship so it's best to keep it a crush. But I think older students are more mature to decide whether it's just a crush because the teacher is an authority figure, or whether they are genuinely interested in them.
Also, I know we're talking about relationships in general, but for some (like me) the age of consent is 16, yet you can't have a relationship with a teaher unless you're 18 or older and are not being taught by them. I think if you're mature enough at 16 to make the decision as to whether you're ready for sex then you're mature enough to decide if you could handle an adult relationship.

And about the privileges stuff - it's just the same as being your teacher's favourite, they may let you get away with stuff or give you extra help or whatever. Teachers are biased in that way without even considering relationships.

 

I don't think students should be in an actual relationship with any of their teachers, and if they must, wait until they're out of the class. If the two really love each other, it's understandable that they would want to be together, but it wouldn't work if one of them is supposed to be grading the other's papers. It would be difficult for the teacher to be completely unbiased.

Also, I'm talking about young teachers with older students here. Like, maybe a five year age difference. If the teacher is, say, thirty, and the student is fourteen, they're at completely different stages of life/on different maturity levels, so it wouldn't work. Also, with that relationship, there's a high chance that one is a virgin and the other is not. Therefore, one would have tons of sexual experience while the other had very little, and the non-virgin would be expecting certain things out of the relationship that the virgin couldn't supply due to lack of knowledge.

It's fine to have a small crush on your teacher. Hey, you can't help who you have a crush on. But if the crush develops into an unhealthy obsession or something, you might want to see somebody about it, such as a counselor, therapist, etc.

 

Depends on the age of the student, in my opinion, and what type of relationship it is. If the student is still in High School, it's not only inappropriate but pretty much illegal for someone old enough to teach to be romantically involved with the student. Administration wouldn't like it either. I do believe that students and teachers can be friends, as long as it's not too unprofessional.
College age is different in my opinion really, because at least everyone is an adult in that situation. Still, to be romantically involved just doesn't seem like a smart idea. Maybe after you've graduated or simply finished the course and you happen to get together with the person, but if they're still your teacher, it's just not right.

 

No, they are extremely unwise. First of all you can't expect a teacher to risk his/her job and social reputation by getting romantically involved with a student.

I'd also like to point out that it would be extremely difficult to keep work and private life separated. It's difficult to remain completely neutral with someone you know in your private life. Suppose you befriend a student who you know does everything he can to graduate at the end of the year. You know he studies until late at night. Sadly, when you correct everything by the book you see that he fails an important test just barely. Quite a dilemma, no?
And what if the student's friends try to exploit this relationship?
It's best to prevent tricky situations like this. It's not a big loss if you don't know your pupils on a friendly basis.

And last but not least, most students tend to be at an age where they know jack shit about love compared to their teaching counterparts. I wouldn't be too optimistic about the longevity of their romance.

 

Well, I say let it happen if they both consent.
I don't think a status, age, race, gender, etc should really stop a relationship from going through if its looked down upon in society. Gay and interacial relationships were looked down upon only round 40 years ago, and now its an accepted part of life.
So go ahead, they can fall in love or split up like alot of other general couples do.

 

Having a crush is harmless and having a relationship can also be harmless. I've had teacher crushes, it isn't any big deal. Of course now I see that it might have been bad now that I'm older and can see it rationally. Relationships can be a little more tricky and of course usually are manifested when the student is in college. The teacher shouldn't allow a bias either, to keep the student hard at work. In and of itself, it is fine. They should be able to express themselves as they wish elsewhere (whether that be in public or especially in private).

But in the context of culture, it shouldn't be too open in public. It's almost taboo. A friend of mine (in college) was actually in a relationship with her professor for a while and they had to keep it on the down-low in order to protect themselves and their love for each other. But eventually it ended up being a booty call on the teachers part.

The point is, yes it is fine, but in terms of social acceptance, culture, etc., it isn't something that is liked. Again, thought of as a type of taboo.

 

I think it's fine, as long as student and teacher have no classes in common.

This way, there are no "I can take advantage of you" screw ups.

 

Sad part is, most student/teacher relationships are because the two have a class or two or more together.

 

You can argue both sides of the point, but at the end of the day, its all up to the individuals isn't it?

From posts already made, you can see the difficulties in mainting a student/teacher relationship if they are in the same classes, etc. The student would be able to take advantage of the teacher in a situation where he or she fails a test, assignment or whatever. I don't know how the teacher would be able to take advantage of a student, only that they might fail them at a particular subject they teach by using some sort of blackmail stratergy. The teacher could lose his or her reputation or fired if something drastic happened and the student expelled.

However, if there are no classes together, like tsG1 said, it could work out. But very rarely does.

 

I pesonally think that a teacher/student relationship is wrong and sick

 

Care to share why?

 

While its not bad to have a relationship with someone older than you, I feel that having a student/teacher relationship is probably more harmful than good. First off, if anyone found out, including the administration the teacher works for, it would be job threatening and even career threatening to the teacher. Unless its college/18 year olds in high school, most of these kids are minors, which is seen as pedophilia from the teacher's point of view. Not to mention kids who find out a kid has been romantically involved with a teacher may only hurt the kid's social life, and/or the teacher's relationships with other students or other people.

I guess it would be okay for kids to be in relationships with teachers (extremely weird though) but it would probably be best to keep that stuff a secret. (Which barely happens most of the time)

 

That's true as well...

 

This is the way I see it too. Although some colleges don't allow student-professor realtionships at all.

 

The way I see it: the only kind of Student/Teacher relationship that is completely fine is with a teacher that doesn't work at the student's school. And I mean an actual relationship, not kid sleeping with teacher for better grade, teacher having an affair with student, etc. If a student dates his/her teacher, well the scandal is obvious. A student dates a teacher he/she doesn't have, there's a chance the teacher could try to help that student out if the student was in trouble, whether it be disciplinary, failing a class, etc, that teacher could use their influence to help the student, which is unfair and wrong.

 

Does anyone know of this ever happening? I want to hear some real life stories.
I don't know how I stand on this yet, to be honest with you.