Roxas was standing there-looking at Sora-watching him "How dare you?!" Yelled Roxas. "How dare you kill someone like that!" "Huh?" "Don't play funny with me, stupid! you killed Xemnas!" "So?" "So he was my boss!" "you didn't like him anyway!" "I...didn't?" "No, you didn't. thats why I destroyed him. That's why your friends arent here and thats why You can live in peace" "Uh...Woops" "Yeah, woops." "well. I've got my keyblade here ayway, Why don't I use it for something." STRIKE! Sora fell to the ground. Roxas murmered in victory "woops" Sad isnt it? remember folks: 1. This isn't real 2. Roxas is evil
ok....i'm just going to say that this is lackluster and needs alot of work. You just have dialogue, try describing the location around the characters. Make the setting, give us a reason to continue reading past the first line. Also, try to seperate each line of dialogue with a line, so as to make it seem less fast and more distinct to the characters talking. Lastly, don't use a word doc to tell the story. It's a turn off like a poll. Post your story in the easiest manner possible and more people will continue to read it.
