So I've been sitting here for an hour

You have balls of steel !

 

i haven't had any of the problems listed here. none.

I played KH when i was eight.

The only problem i have, i share with many.

Dragon Malificent.
Oh my god, i watched that scene so many times i still remember it.

-AH AH AAH *WHEEZE*

-Do you need some help?

-Riku!

-Is that...

-Yes, a keyblade. But unlike yours, this keyblade has the power to unlock people's hearts. allow me to demonstrate. BEHOLD.

-AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH

-NOW. OPEN YOUR HEART. SURRENDER IT TO THE DARKNESS! BECOME DARKNESS ITSELF! *whoosh*

-This is it! this powah! hahaha. Daaahkness. THE TROOO DAAAHKNESS!

♬DOOO DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO♬

-aaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh!

...
-AH AH AAH *WHEEZE*

-Do you need some help?

FFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU-

 

ok, when i got those mushrooms and that guy started talking to me, i thought he was a tree, because he robes were brown ;_;

and i did not know how to get off Destiny Islands D: I thought i had to fight all the heartless but i kept dying.

 

Rikunort for me. Then, in later playthroughs, Malefigon on Proud mode with shit Defense. Of course, at that point, I'd also stopped using the "Summon Tinkerbell and climb on the giant root whenever you get hurt" strategy.

 

Rikunort was a problem for me on my second playthrough. For some reason i just trashed him on my first.

I can remember a lot of that cutscene too but not the whole thing.

 

...

I should have expected this from you. Somehow, I did not.

Subsequent playthroughs, I don't even consider him a threat. Guard/Counter cripples his entire offensive; you can do it as an answer to almost everything he does. First time? I had time to memorize the cutscene, then forget it, then memorize it again, then speak every line of it in a funny voice, then make sexual jokes about the "KAIRI'S INSIDE ME?" line. And then I just got bored and started cutting them off with the pause button to make them say funny sentence fragments.