Should children call their parents by their names?

Personally, I don't care what they call me as long as they recognize me as the main authority figure in their life. They can call me AJ, Andrew, Dad, Papa, Daddy, Caesar, Your Highness, Shirley, and whatever else they feel like. I would, of course, encourage them to call me Father or Dad, but as long as I'm doing my job as a parent (making sure they end up successful and/or happy in life) and they recognize me as a parent, I don't see any difference. What's in a name anyway?

 

It does not sound like your step-mom was asking you what was going on. She wanted you to act a certain way and demanded that you did. I would not accept that no matter who was speaking. Just me...

 

Calling my mom and dad by their real names just seems wrong coming out of my mouth. Now I know their full names but I always call them mom and dad because that's just how I grew up.

But the final decision rests with the mother and father and how they feel. Now I wouldn't mind if my kids called me Adam because I want to be their friend but if they disrespect me and tell me off I will switch to "Father" mode and tell them to call me dad.

 

It depends entirely on the relationship between cared and child.
There are whole articles on titles and how you address close family members.

A biological parent may be a Mother or Father, but not necessarily a Dad or Mum.
Bushy Brow brings up a good point. Biology has nothing to do with how you refer to what you consider to be your respected parent deserving of the title of Mum or Dad, in his case. Plenty of children don't call their biological parents Dad or Mum, mostly because of how badly they have hurt them or their close family members.

I don't call my parents by their names. I may joke and use it, but even in times of seriousness their names are not part of the equation. For my own children? They may feel the need to call me by my name, or they just want to call me Dad. It will depend on what children I have my biological, my adopted, my reconstituted children. I will not be stuck in the idea that biology constitutes the need to be a Dad.

 

It depends on how they're using it, really. I sometimes call my mom by her name as a joke (i.e. coming home and shouting "Lizzy, I'm home!") and she's fine with that, probably because we have a good relationship. Other than that I either call her mom, mommy, or mother. My dad... I don't think I've called him daddy since I was very young. But I don't exactly have a good relationship (or relationship at all) with him, and at times I'd rather use choice expletives when referring to him, so I just use dad. Sometimes father.

I was a bit conflicted on how to address my stepmom--I do call her by her first name, though. It still feels a little disrespectful at times, though we don't really have a great relationship either. Calling her mom just wouldn't feel right; I already have a mom, to call someone else that would feel... I dunno, like betraying my mom.

Personally, I would rather be called "mom" by my children, but I'd be willing to hear their argument for calling me ....

 

I call my parents what suits me. I usually call them "Father" or "Mother", although I commonly use their names.
That does not mean we have a bad relationship. We have a fantastic relationship, compared to some people.

Obviously, certain terms carry more sentimental value. If I do have children, when they were young I would like to hear "Daddy", which is normal, but as they grow into their teens, I would allow them to call me "Jay". It would be their choice. If, however, they called me by my name for the sole purpose of disrespect, that would be different.

 

It doesn't constitute the need, Biology says that according to biology, your goal in life is to reproduce, it's not a need.

Anyhow, it depends on what parents raise their kids to say, nothing more to it actually. I have friends who call their parents by their name. To me it sounds weird, because I'm not used to it, but whatever you've been raised to do, that's what you will do. Ain't much to it.

 

Depends on the way the kid has been brought up. It also depends on the relationship between the child and the parent.

I really don't see why not, but it would be akward.

Put yourself in the parent's position. Weird hearing a kid say your firsr name instead of mom or dad, right?

Honestly, I really don't care.

 

I don't think so, because if you've been taught to call your parents by their name, and not by the relationship you have to them (parent/child, duh). I mean, if you hear other kids call their parents mommy/daddy, you might do it, but I believe that when you get older, if I said "Come to Petter" instead of "Come to dad/daddy" I think there's a bigger chance you'd call me by my name, rather than Dad/daddy.

Again, depends on what you are used to.

Again, depends on the way the kid has been brought up.

Which you sort of said yourself, as you started with

:b

 

Thank you for dissecting, swallowing, and regurgitating my post.

I guess the main point here really is what you're used to.

 

He understood that. What he was challenging was the idea that making a child makes you a 'Dad' to that child instead of a 'Father'. Other species do not take care of their young at all and this is considered a part of their biology. They might be called fathers and mothers but not moms and dads based on contextual definitions of the terms. Having a kid no more entitles you with the name of dad than it forces you to make sure that the kid lives for more than a few days after birth.

 

Exactly, terms of address are key in referencing parental figures.

Mummy and Daddy are terms used by the immature or young. If you were 15 and calling your parents Mummy and Daddy it likely constitutes that your relationship with them is that they are superior and decide your life a lot more, as they would have done when you were a small child.

Mum and Dad are more casual terms, they symbolise more independence, but still represent a (generally speaking) healthy relationship to the parent. It is acceptable to use it throughout your life.

Mother and Father is more... of a title, I say. It is generally used by people who are considered well spoken or whom wish to appear professional int he face of people you may not be able to act casual around, for example, a head of state or royalty.

How we address our parents is actually interesting, it has a lot more implications about our relationship with them then most would believe.

 

I honestly would mind what my children call me.
I mean,as long as we both love each other etc,its all grand.
But I suppose I would prefer to be called "mummy" or "mother" than for them to call me "Danu",but thats just because I dislike my name.
And I mean,sometimes it gets rather annoying when you hear small kids with annoying voices repeatedly shouting "Muummmyyy!" over and over over and over.
Le rawr.
But yesh,I really dont think it matters all that much...
As,to me at least,a name is just a name.

 

I would much rather have them call them mom and dad than their real names. To me it's a sign of affection. I call my mom for mom because I love her and I call my dad for dad because I love him... at times. There was a point where I felt as if my dad had just abandoned me, I still feel like that once in a while, at that time I just called him by his first name instead. Admitedly his name would literally translate to "Bear", so maybe that's not so bad either? But yeah, while I would much rather have my children call me dad or some variation of that I do believe that it's up to them. It would probably hurt to have your children call you by your first name after you've taught them "dad" and "mom, but yeah, I just think that they are affectionate names and should only be said if you acctually have affection for your parents.

Basically: I don't want children to call their parents by their first names, but I don't want them to be forced to call them mom or dad either if they don't want to.

 

My children will refer to me as Grand Master Captain Supreme Overlord.

IMO It really depends on the parents and the children. Different people prefer different names, I can see why people would want to be called mum and dad or by their actual names as they both have different personal values for different people and there are different situational advantages as well (Press X to Jason in reverse comes to mind).

 

Pretty much this. I occasionally call my dad by his first name in a show of disrespect (Which doesn't happen to often), but that's usually when I get tired of his behaviour towards me. He doesn't like it at all. xD We don't get along too well. My mum on the other hand is called nothing but 'mum', and 'mother' when I get impatient. Really, it's a title given to them by their children in a show of respect. There are only a couple of people in your life you can call your parents, were as you refer to everyone else by their name.

 

I do both.

I work in the same building as my parents and a few days a week, I'll be answering the phone when I'm cashiering. I'd feel right silly if I paged Mom over the intercom and let the entire store know. 'Mom, telephone please, Mom.' At work, I use their names because there, yes they're still my parents but they're also my superiors(work sense) and my employers. Same as you wouldn't approach your professors/teachers/boss and call them 'Dad'/'Mom'.

But when not at work, I do use the more traditional titles. It just feels more casual for me to do so.

 

Well, first issue that springs to my mind is, Do you call your biological parents Mom and Dad? Even if they didn't raise you? If blood isn't a qualifier, what is necessary and sufficient? It might seem obvious but I'd wager it breaks down at least a bit with analysis. Either way, the parents have a certain role in a growing child's life, and in the interest of association it's helpful to stick to Mom and Dad when the kid is young. When s/he starts to grow up, doesn't need a father or mother figure for quite the same things... When Mom and Dad can be friends as well as parents, I'd say it's perfectly acceptable to use their personal name. Could even help bring them closer.

If you associate "Mom and Dad" with "ever-present, unfeeling, disciplinary monoliths" then it can end up being kind of stressful for the son/daughter. Obviously it's different for everyone, but I don't imagine it should be disrespectful in any spectrum. Of course, anyone who's been following my activity in the Discussion section knows how I feel about taking offense to things. Other than that, it can also seem kind of childish to keep using Mom and Dad, but that's pretty well subjective. I think it largely depends on culture, and how close one is to one's immediate family.

 

Have you read the posts that have come from this thread? Most of them answer or discuss the questions you pose.